


Opposing Ends

by miragoat



Category: Warcraft (2016), Warcraft - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-19
Updated: 2016-09-28
Packaged: 2018-08-09 17:58:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 45,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7811686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miragoat/pseuds/miragoat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anduin Lothar stood alone in his room, angrier than he had ever been.  Do it for the kingdom, they'd insisted.  Azeroth needs you.  All the while they had ignored the look of pure disgust on his face, because Lothar was disgusted, and furious, and he had dignity!  How dare they try to force him into an arranged marriage, especially one so... strange?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Idea taken from this post: http://arcane-renegade.tumblr.com/post/149123484403/okay-but-why-the-fuck-dont-we-have-an-arranged because I have no original ideas. :P

Anduin Lothar stood alone in his room, angrier than he had ever been. _Do it for the kingdom,_ they'd insisted. _Azeroth needs you._ All the while they had ignored the look of pure disgust on his face, because Lothar _was_ disgusted, and furious, and he had dignity! How dare they try to force him into an arranged marriage, especially one so... strange?

_Stormwind needs powerful allies, and your marriage would guarantee aid in times of need_ , his sister had said, and even though the words came out sweet as honey on her lips, he saw them for what they were.

_I'm not the only unmarried man in the kingdom,_ he'd told her, hoping that she would see the sense in it, hoping that she'd see the grave mistake she'd made. But of course, Taria never saw her mistakes, and she had continued to argue, the king at her side.

_You are the brother of a queen, the commander of the Stormwind army, and a bachelor old enough to be of little use to many more conventional matches. Besides, the Kirin Tor specifically requested that it be you who seals the match._

Oh, it had been so much worse then. Was that what his sister would reduce him to, some prize cow to be sold off to some spell-chucking Kirin Tor half-wit?

Then Llane had come to his sister's aid with an ultimatum. As king, he would demand that Lothar resign as commander of the Stormwind army if he refused to obey an order. Better that he obey, as his match was trained to become the Guardian of Azeroth. And so here he was, dressing for what promised to be the worst day of his life, the day that he would be forced into a marriage.

He dressed in Stormwind colors, fine blue silk with gold embroidery, his cloak decorated with a fine lion. He didn't bother to wear his armor, for this was a fight of a different nature, perhaps a fight that he would never win. He inspected his room one last time, for it was his room no longer; he would have to concede his personal space to his match.

It was Llane who greeted him when he opened the door, and Llane who led him into the castle as if he hadn't walked through the keep a thousand times before. He could feel eyes on him. He squared his shoulders and held his head high. He was the Lion of Azeroth, and he would maintain his pride. Finally, when they reached the front of the room, he could see two of the mages from the Kirin Tor, clad in purple robes and beards halfway to their knees. Was this what he was in store for? The thought made him sick to his stomach.

“Is he here?” Llane asked them. The one of the right extended his left arm, and the man who stepped up to meet them was worse than Lothar had imagined.

He was barely more than a boy, with the faintest trace of a mustache above his lip. He wore plain brown robes over his scrawny body – he was no warrior, barely a man, and now Lothar was stuck with him.

_The things I do for Stormwind._

 

 

When he was younger, Khadgar had sometimes imagined the day that he would be married. It would be a grand affair, with illusions and magic to entertain his guests, free of the meddling of the Kirin Tor. Most of all, he would marry someone that he loved.

Well, his dreams were ruined now.

He knew from a single look at the man that he was almost old enough to be Khadgar's father, and built to fight with sword and shield. He would revile magic, Khadgar knew. Hell, he'd be lucky if the man could even _read_. Why had the Kirin Tor demanded this union? Couldn't they see that it was hopeless.

The king of Stormwind stepped forward. “Let me offer you the full hospitality of Stormwind. This is Anduin Lothar, brother of our queen, commander of the Stormwind Royal Army. He comes, as promised, to accept the offer of a union.”

One of the old mages nodded his approval. “We bring Khadgar of the Kirin Tor, top student, future Guardian, to accept the offer of a union with your champion.”

Khadgar forced himself to tune out the rest; he didn't care to know what the price for his freedom might be. At least the other man had the decency to look him in the eye. The ceremony dragged on far too long, and too soon they were alone in the rooms that they would now share. Khadgar's two trunks had been set at the other side of the door, and Khadgar dug through them in search of something to wear to bed. It was hard to find his clothes under all the books he had desperately packed.

“Great, a spell-chucker _and_ a bookworm.”

“Trust me, I'm not any happier about this arrangement than you are. I had enough grandfather figures in the Kirin Tor; I didn't need to marry one.”

“Maybe you should have stayed with the Kirin Tor. You don't belong here.”

“That's right. I belong in Karazhan, with the _Guardian –_ oh wait, I _am_ the Guardian now. How could I forget? If I heard correctly, it was actually Stormwind that asked for the Kirin Tor's assurance that the Guardian would give protection to Stormwind in times of need.”

“That was my brother-in-law's mistake, not mine. I can't imagine that someone like you could solve a problem too large for Stormwind's army.”

“That's because your imagination has so little to draw from.” Khadgar pulled a night shirt over his head. “Light, I can't imagine that the Kirin Tor had _you_ in mind when they struck the deal with your king.”

“Keep telling yourself that, kid. It's better that you think that.” He took his pillow and pushed it to the very edge of the bed. “Until I can convince Llane to get me a second bed, you'll sleep against the wall. Don't use my blanket, don't steal my pillows and if you want to stay in one piece, don't touch me.”

“Like I'd want to.”

Khadgar lay with his nose pressed against the wall, as far away from Lothar's too-large body as he could get. The blanket draped over him was too thick, and he found himself kicking it off before he drifted into the most miserable sleep in his life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone finds an easy distraction, and someone does the right thing.

It was just before dawn when Lothar got out of bed and began to pull on his armor piece by piece as he always did. He would have breakfast with his sister and his king as he often did, and then he would go to the barracks and see that his men were given their orders for the day. There was no reason for any change, he decided. Stormwind was _his_ city, and it would stay that way.

He sat on the bed and glanced at the sleeping mage. He was sprawled across the portion of the bed that Lothar had been forced to give up for him, half-covered by _his_ blanket. He made the faintest snoring sound. Lothar dropped his boots. One by one, they landed on the floor with a loud _thud_ , and Khadgar roused immediately, his eyes glowing blue. Lothar rushed to clamp a hand to his mouth.

“If you cast a spell in _my_ room, spell-chucker, I'll have you arrested.” He smiled as he moved the hand away, daring Khadgar to speak.

“It isn't _your_ room, remember? Why did you wake me up?”

“You're supposed to be the Guardian. Isn't there something important that you should be doing instead of wasting daylight in my bed?”

Khadgar rubbed the sleep from his eyes. “No reason to be bitter because my schedule is more flexible, commander... although I would be remiss if I didn't ask you where I might find the nearest library.”

“It's in the keep.”

The mention of the library had Khadgar out of bed and slipping into his plain day clothes. “Take me there?”

“Take yourself.”

Khadgar looked at him in a way that was almost hurt. The kid wasn’t that sensitive, was he? He couldn’t _really_ expect Lothar to act as his personal tour guide whenever he felt like leaving the room. He wasn’t a babysitter.

“ _Fine,_ I’ll take you, but don’t expect me to be your bodyguard, kid. If you wander off and get lost, it’s on you.”

He expected Khadgar to argue, but he didn’t. He threw on his other boot and led Khadgar to the library, sure to stay two steps ahead of him. It didn’t feel any worse than having a new recruit trailing him if he did it that way. He could pretend that it wasn’t Khadgar behind him. When he opened the oak doors, it was Khadgar who stepped ahead of him.

The kid was transfixed. His brown eyes were like saucers as he drank in the shelves lining the walls. As he crossed the room, he went from shelf to shelf, letting his fingers run along the spine of books that he must have found interesting. Lothar didn’t see anything that caught his eye, but Khadgar looked thrilled. Who got so excited about a bunch of dusty old books? When he turned to Lothar again, he was grinning.

“This is amazing! Here’s _On the Virtues of Magic_ – I must have read that a hundred times while I was studying in Dalaran. There are so many scrolls here that I’m sure I’ve never seen before. Wow, they even have the Steamy Romance Novel series… Odd choice for a royal library, but I’ll take what I can get.”

“Don’t let it get your hopes up. Oh, and don’t hurt yourself in here, kid.”

“You can go now,” he said.

_Fine. We’ll see how long he lasts in that library before he grows bored of it._

 

It was well past dusk when Lothar decided that he could no longer avoid returning to his room. He dreaded it the second day more than he had dreaded the first, knowing that he had no fondness for the kid. It wasn’t that he was so terrible, Lothar decided, but he would have been a better match for Callan, or anyone but him.

_He’s your match and you’ll learn to live with him_ , Llane had said over dinner. He was grateful that he didn’t have to see Khadgar over dinner, that the kid had no more interest in Llane’s life than he had in the boy’s. They could co-exist that way, out of sight, out of mind, if they were careful.

He was shocked to see that his bed was empty.

_Shit._ Of course the kid didn’t know his way back from the library. It was just like a Kirin Tor mage not to pay attention, to expect everyone around them to re-arrange their routines for their convenience. Wasn’t that what mages were known for, carelessness? He decided that he’d have to draw a map or something, because being a chaperone every night was just too domestic for his liking.

Khadgar was not wandering Stormwind Keep as he predicted; in fact, Lothar was sure that he hadn’t even moved from the table where he had settled after Lothar left him in the morning. The stack of books around him was so tall that he had to walk around the table to see the youth. His face was buried in the book closest to him.

_Of course he fell asleep here._ Lothar was appalled that the bookworm had been too weak-willed to even attempt to leave the library, but then realize that maybe he hadn’t wanted to leave the place where he was content. He sighed, because as much as he wanted to leave Khadgar there until morning to teach him a lesson, he knew that Llane and Taria would give him hell if he did, and he knew that if it had been one of his men asleep here (Light forbid that one of his men should prefer reading to training), he would do the right then.

“Hey, kid. Bookworm.” He poked at Khadgar’s shoulder. “Spell-chucker. Wake up. Come on, I haven’t got all night.” He shoved Khadgar backward. Maybe the force would wake him.

Before he had time to react, he was falling backward, and his back hit the wall so hard that he wondered how his ribs didn’t crack. He sank to his bottom and swore. _No good deed._

“You’re lucky I don’t arrest you for that,” Lothar growled.

“I’m sorry,” Khadgar said. He had the decency to look it. “Don’t you know how to wake someone without startling them? I mean, I doubt you’d slam your generals against the chair if you were waking them.”

“I doubt they’d be asleep in the library. You have a bed; see that you sleep in it.”

“I have half a bed,” Khadgar corrected. “Less than that, actually, if last night was anything to go by. I thought I would be more welcome here.”

“Did I say that you weren’t welcome?”

“I think the words ‘you don’t belong here’ might have been spoken. I’m not an expert in subtext but it seemed pretty clear to me.”

“Well that… I mean...” Lothar cleared his throat. “I was a little drunk. You would be too if you had to start living with you.”

Khadgar rolled his eyes. “Thank you for that reassurance, Lothar. I feel better already.”

“Just stop complaining and come to bed with me.”

Khadgar's cheeks reddened. “I _truly_ hope that I never hear those words come out of your mouth again.”

“You and me both,” he muttered, and even though he hated it, he led the sleepy mage to the bedroom. _You owe me, bookworm._


	3. Oldtown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Khadgar goes on an adventure. Things turn out exactly as you'd expect.

Khadgar would never admit it, but he didn’t mind the warmth of another body in the bed with him, even if that body _was_ Lothar. He woke before Lothar, before the sun had risen, to feel Lothar’s too-thick beard scratching against his neck. _If I try to move him, he’d probably break my nose,_ Khadgar thought, and did his best to slip off the bed without being noticed.

If there was anything that could make him get up in the morning, it was the novelty of the unknown. As much as Khadgar loved the library, he wondered what other gems Stormwind might have to offer. He slipped on his travel clothes and strapped his boots before Lothar had time to wake up and set out on his exploration.

Stormwind was a lively city, he realized as he stepped into the Trade District. He wanted to visit every vendor, touch every item, ask every buyer where they were from and how they’d come to Stormwind and what they were shopping for. He bought a slice of roasted Elwynn lamb and took a bite out of it, to find that it was more delicious than he’d hoped. He bought a new ink set from a man who claimed to make the ink himself; Khadgar opened the jar to inspect it and decided that the man’s claims were true, though in his opinion the ink could stand to be weakened a little.

He walked by the cathedral to hear echoes of sermons coming through the open doors. On the steps, men dressed in ragged robes shouted messages of coming doom to whoever would listen. Khadgar rolled his eyes. Men were prone to unfounded paranoia. He would not see the world burn as long as he still had life left in him. Beside them were the homeless men who begged for alms. Khadgar took a moment to toss a coin their way.

How was it that such a grand city didn’t have the resources to care for its own? Dalaran had always been a clean city, a prosperous city. Surely Stormwind could be all that and more. He would have to ask Anduin why men were allowed to suffer on the streets… if Anduin wasn’t furious at him for leaving without telling someone where he was going. _Oh well. He’s not my father._

He decided that his afternoon was incomplete without a drink, even if alcohol repulsed him. He stepped into a bar and ordered “whatever you recommend”. The taste was terrible but it made his head fuzzy, and he was grinning stupidly as he stepped into the street, eager to return home to tell someone he didn’t even like about his busy day. Better Anduin Lothar than no one, he supposed.

He didn't have a care in the world as he stepped back into Oldtown. Then, in an instant, everything changed.

He felt a set of hands grabbing toward his gold pouch. He murmured the beginnings of a spell, but a too-strong hand clamped over his mouth so tight that he couldn't breathe. He kicked lamely at his attacker, but he was sloppy, too unskilled to stop _anyone_ from using force against him. He was the Guardian, yet he was helpless against a common thief. Tears welled in his eyes. It was all over for him.

 

 _This kid is a waste of my time_ , Lothar thought for the hundredth time as he wandered through Oldtown, sword in hand. He was ready to turn around and return to the keep when he saw it. Khadgar was in the alleyway, held by one strong arm around his middle and one hand around his mouth. Part of him was irritated – _leave the kid alone for less than a day and he's already in trouble. Just why was he out without a guard anyway? -_ but he felt something else with it: outrage. No one was going to teach the kid a lesson but him, and he'd be damned if the idiot was hurt while their names were tied together.

He crossed the street and was in the alleyway in three steps, and he hit Khadgar's attacker so hard that Lothar swore that he felt the man's jaw break. Just to drive the message home, he shoved him down to the cobblestone and kicked him in the ribs once, twice, three times, until it was the man who was crying. Then he turned to Khadgar.

“I can't believe that even you would be so _stupid_. Why would you walk alone in the city with your coin pouch just hanging out for everyone to see when you don't know how to defend yourself? Do you want to be killed? Is that it?” He had Khadgar by the shoulders before he knew it, and he was shaking the boy like a rag doll. “Go home. Now. I have work to do.”

He summoned two of his guards and had Khadgar's attacker hauled to the barracks. _Maybe I should have let him bang the kid up a bit,_ he thought as he took a swig of his ale. As much as he hated to admit it, maybe the kid wasn't as bad as he thought.


	4. Chapter 4

Khadgar didn't say a word to anyone all the way to Lothar's room; the shock from the attack hadn't gone away, and even after Lothar had saved his life, he feared what the older man would have to say when he returned to their room. _How am I supposed to be a Guardian if I can't even take care of myself? Medivh never would have let this happen. Medivh knew what he was doing._ He only felt worse when Lothar entered the room and gave him a look that told him that he wasn't welcome.

“I'm sorry,” he said, hoping to mend whatever chance at peace they might have had. “I shouldn't have left, but the only place I've seen besides this room is the library, and I didn't want to make you waste some guard's time just because I wanted to go out.”

Lothar slammed his armor on the floor as he stripped it off. “I would have taken you myself. You could have asked. You could have waited until _I decided_ to take you out, but you didn't, and look what happened. You're lucky that I decided to look for you.”

“Yes, I'm so _lucky_ that it's your duty to keep me safe.” Tears welled in Khadgar's eyes, and he didn't know if they were from anger or sadness or residual fear. “Do you think I wanted this to happen? I belong in Dalaran. I'm not _ready_ to be the Guardian! I can't do what he did, I can't save anyone, you have to know that!”

Lothar crossed the room in three long strides and took Khadgar by the shoulders. For a moment, he just looked at him as if he were seeing something he'd never seen before. Then he pushed Khadgar back, _hard._ “Is that really all it takes to get you to give up, spell-chucker? After all that talk about belonging here, you're ready to back down the first time someone was mean to you?”

“He could have killed me!”

“But he didn't. You know why he didn't? Because somebody better and stronger came along before he could finish the job. You don't have to be Medivh, kid, you've just got to be better than the people who try to get in your way. Stop crying before I lock you in the hallway.”

Khadgar wiped his eyes. He wanted to stop crying, not because Lothar told him to but because he knew that it would make him look more like a child. He took a deep breath, then another, until he no longer felt the sting of the calloused hand that had been pressed against his mouth to silence him. _I can speak now. I can defend myself. I'll be okay._ Lothar nodded approvingly.

“Why are you helping me?” he said at last.

“What?”

“You hate me. Why are you helping me.”

“Because Azeroth needs you, and because if I'm stuck with you, I might as well teach you a thing or two. It won't do to have you defenseless.”

Khadgar smiled despite himself. “And you looked for me because?”

“Believe it or not, kid, I was worried about you. Stormwind may be my city, but that doesn't mean that it's safe for everyone. Especially someone like you who doesn't know a thing outside of those books you keep your nose in.”

“Well thank you, Commander... Lothar. For everything.”

“Just shut up and never mention this to anyone. Especially not my sister.”

He climbed into bed and retreated under his quilt. He didn't want to admit it, but he was glad that he had someone like Lothar, at least today. He'd never been around anyone but the mages in Dalaran, and they hadn't been strong like Lothar. And... maybe he was a good person. Not an ideal partner, certainly, but not as cold as he wanted Khadgar to believe. He decided that he would keep the revelation to himself for Lothar's sake.

He felt Lothar move onto the bed and moved closer to the wall. Something really needed to be done about the amount of space they had. Even pressed against the wall, he could feel bits of Lothar's back touching him, and he didn't know how Lothar managed to sleep without falling off the edge of the bed.

“If you want, I could try to cast a spell to make this bed a little bigger,” he suggested.

“No room,” Lothar said.

“But maybe if we rearranged the room, I could grow it about half a foot. I used to do it in Dalaran when I ran out of room on a scroll. It's a simple spell, actually.”

“Just leave it alone. You're not touching my furniture.”

“Or maybe I could shrink my trunk. You never use your desk, so we could orient _my_ things so that the trunk sits under the desk and I could put my books on top of it. You'd still have room for your armor, and we could still have more room.”

“I said leave it.”

“Oh. I just thought I would try to help. I know this isn't the best arrangement-”

“But it's the arrangement that makes Llane happy, so it's the one we're sticking with. If you wanted a bigger bed, you should have told your Kirin Tor so they could arrange it.”

“I don't see why the king would care about a few extra inches of bed.”

“Khadgar, shut up and sleep before I change my mind about being nice to you.”

“Yes, Commander.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lothar tries to buy Khadgar an innocent gift.

“Are you well, Lothar? You look like you’ve hardly slept.”

“I’m fine,” he grunted at his king, but the truth was that he _wasn’t fine_. He’d been awake all night, thinking about the idiot he was living with.

How was it that the kid got himself into trouble the first day that he went outside without a guard? And why did he think that it was acceptable to magically meddle with Lothar’s furniture, even if it _was_ to give them more space? He didn’t need more space, thank you very much. He’d slept in smaller spaces with his men when the weather was against them, and they were larger than Khadgar, built for fighting rather than reading.

Why did it bother him so much that Khadgar wanted to do one simple thing?

He would never tell anyone, but as he sparred with his men, he found his mind drifting to Khadgar again. What was he doing? He wasn’t going out on his own again, was he? What business would a Kirin Tor dog have in Oldtown, anyway? Maybe he was trying to meet someone. He was, after all, left all alone while Lothar resumed his duties in Stormwind. He didn’t have family and friends in the city like Lothar did; perhaps he didn’t have friends or family at all.

That would be a shame. The kid wasn’t so bad, once you got past… well, everything.

He decided that he would bring something back for Khadgar that might make up for the previous evening. He found his sister walking the keep and ran to keep up to her.

“I hate to admit it, but I need your help,” he said. “What kind of gift do I get for Khadgar?”

She smiled a suggestive smile that made Lothar regret even _asking_ her. “Feeling sentimental?”

“No. I just think he might find living here easier if I got something for him. What do I do?”

“Get him something he likes. You do know what he likes, don’t you?”

“Of course I know.”

Books. Khadgar liked books, right? Lothar was literate, but he took no joy in reading, and found himself at a loss as he stared at the shelves of nearly identical books that were being sold. What would the spell-chucker choose if he were here on his own? What books had he mentioned? _Light, I should have been a better listener._

“Can I help you find anything?” the whip-thin store owner asked him.

 _Now there’s someone who looks like he reads._ “I, uh, need to buy a book. For my...” He felt his cheeks redden and clenched his jaw. Since when did Anduin Lothar blush?

“Have you tried the Steamy Romance Novel set? They’re very popular at this time, and they make a great personal gift.”

“You know, I think I’ve heard that name before. Get me all of them.”

 

Khadgar wasn’t alone. Lothar clenched his fists when he discovered that one of _his_ guards was in _his_ room with _his_ ill-suited match, laughing like they’d known each other for a lifetime. Just what were they laughing about, anyway? Didn’t the guard have a job to do, a job that didn’t involve drooling at Khadgar? He shut the door conspicuously.

“Oh, you’re back! Commander, this is-”

“I know who he is. He works under _me_ , remember?” He gave the guard a look that had sent weaker men away trembling. “I see that you’ve made yourself at home in my private room.”

Khadgar smiled, oblivious. “I invited him. I got lost on the way back from the library today, and he was nice enough to guide me back here. He’s been to Dalaran a few times, so we were just talking about how different it is from Stormwind. I think I found a better spell-”

“Enough about the damn spell. I brought you something. Open it. Now.”

Khadgar was gentle with the wrapping paper as he moved it off the stack of books. When he saw the covers, his face turned a shade of red so deep that Lothar wondered if there was any blood left anywhere else. The guard let out a low whistle. “I think I’ll get back to my patrol.”

“You do that,” Anduin said.

When they were alone, Khadgar glanced up at Lothar. “You… bought me romance novels? I didn’t realize that you were the sentimental type.”

“I… You mentioned them before in the library. Light, it’s not like I...” He groaned. Why hadn’t he _thought_ about how Khadgar might view a gift like this? How had it seemed like a good idea for even a second to buy romance novels? “It’s what the store owner suggested, alright? Don’t read into it.”

“You’re actually embarrassed!” Khadgar laughed. “How will you ever sleep next to me on our undersized bed after this?”

“Be quiet. You know I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Too bad. That would have explained why you didn’t want me to shrink the bed.” He burst into laughter again, and Anduin took a step toward the door. “Oh, don’t be like that. I’m just having a bit of fun. Don’t worry, I know you well enough to know that it was just a stupid mistake. I appreciate the gift, though, really.”

_A mistake. Right._


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Word of Lothar's gift spreads.

“I hear you’ve been doing some reading,” one of his men said to him with a snicker.

“Mention it again and I’ll give you guard duty in the Stockades,” he growled, hoping that would be the end of it. Of course, it wasn’t. News of the Steamy Romance Novel incident had spread seemingly overnight, and all of Stormwind’s troops were taking the rare opportunity to ridicule their commander for it.

“Feeling steamy today?”

“Maybe he’s looking to learn something.”

“I heard those books were for women.”

The comments wore down on him through the day. Only Lothar would be punished for trying to do something good. Only Lothar would buy the Guardian of Azeroth erotica as a gift by mistake. His head was pounding. He needed a drink or something. _That bookworm has been nothing but trouble for me since the day he got here._ Damn Khadgar for embarrassing him.

He was glad to join his sister and his king for dinner, but he discovered to his horror that they weren’t alone. Khadgar was seated next to his sister, dressed in his gaudy Kirin Tor robes. He looked more boyish than ever when seated so close to Llane. Lothar was sure that he would have laughed if he wasn’t so angry.

“It’s about time you joined us,” Taria said.

“What are you doing here, bookworm?”

“Why, you’re married! What kind of marriage would it be if Khadgar didn’t start joining us for dinner?”

He slouched in his chair. “I’ve heard about him all day, Taria. I was looking forward to the one hour of my day when I’m not stuck with him.”

“All day, was it?”

He narrowed his eyes at Khadgar. “Your little guard boyfriend decided to tell all of his little friends about the gift I got you, and they told _their_ friends, and now the entire Stormwind army knows and won’t let me forget it.”

“I fail to see the problem.”

“You’re the problem. Maybe if you liked the things a normal person liked, I wouldn’t have to embarrass myself to accommodate you. They should have married you to a librarian, not a soldier.”

“I didn’t ask you to buy me a gift, you know.”

“Good. Don’t ever think to ask me, either. I’ve done more than enough for you to earn your protection.”

He expected Khadgar to bite back like he always did, but he looked down at his empty plate. “Would you excuse me?”

“Certainly,” Llane said. With a bow, Khadgar was gone, and Lothar was left to gape at his empty seat.

“I think you offended him,” Taria said, all traces of amusement gone.

“How? I was just picking on him like I always do. It’s the way I am with everyone. He usually puts up a fight.”

She sighed. “Just go talk to him.”

 _Light, he’s too sensitive._ Still, Lothar knew that it was right to salvage whatever he had with Khadgar, and he quickened his pace until he made it to their bedroom.

The bedroom was empty, and all traces of Khadgar were gone.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our two big dummies meet in Karazhan.

He hated that he was so easily upset by what someone like Anduin Lothar thought of him. He shouldn’t _care_ what some fossil from Stormwind thought of him. He was the Guardian; he was above the common soldiers, above the king even. Still, as Khadgar entered Karazhan, he felt like a child, not a Guardian. He’d never seen anything so grand.

The rooms were almost cavernous in their size, and the air that moved through them chilled Khadgar to the bone. This was the place where Medivh had lived during his time as Guardian, and now, after his death, a strange emptiness filled the halls. Khadgar could feel arcane energy in the air around him, so strong that it threatened to take on a life of its own. It was hard to breathe in a place like Karazhan, even for a mage.

_Such magic should be contained. Who better to monitor it than the new Guardian?_

It wasn’t easy work, but Khadgar had never expected his duties to be easy. He would have to get to work, first to monitor the magic, then to contain it, then to sustain whatever measures might be needed to control it. If he wasn’t careful, it would drain him of his energy and perhaps even kill him. It was better than playing Anduin Lothar’s housewife.

 

 

He offered to take a small group of men on horses to ride to Karazhan to bring Khadgar back. Llane gave him access to a gryphon instead. Something about knowing that the mage was in Karazhan added a graveness to his mission, as if being near Karazhan would stir the restless spirit of Medivh himself, or worse. He didn’t understand magical things and never had, but he knew that danger could be waiting for him. He rode in his armor.

Lothar knew the way around Karazhan from the days he’d spent with Medivh, but the place seemed different without him, more sinister. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was lurking in the shadows, waiting for a chance to lash out at him. When it did, he would be ready, he promised himself. He kept his sword at the ready and searched room after room for Khadgar.

“I know you’re here, kid. Come on, let me at least talk to you. Hello?” His voice echoed off the walls and took on a life of his own. Lothar wondered how it was possible that Khadgar didn’t hear him. There was only one place that he hadn’t searched, the place where he never expected a kid like Khadgar to go.

_Medivh’s tower._

He couldn’t ascend the stairway fast enough even as he ran in his armor. His legs felt like they were made of lead and his lungs felt ready to burst, but he couldn’t stop, not now, not when he was so close and so much could be at stake. Finally, he burst through the door.

There were tomes everywhere, scattered on the floor and on the tables and in empty chairs. He saw strange glowing instruments and metal tools on their stands, but they had not gathered dust. Medivh had not been the last to use them. Just as Lothar thought that he was alone, he caught a glimpse at Khadgar sitting on the stone floor, surrounded by books, with a scroll in his hand. His eyes were narrowed in concentration.

“You’re safe. Thank the Light.”

Khadgar jumped at the sound of Lothar’s voice. “Has something happened? Is Stormwind in danger?”

Lothar shook his head. “No, of course not. Why would you think that it was?”

“Isn’t that why you’re here, to seek help from the Guardian?” Khadgar held up a hand to stop Lothar as he started toward him. “Don’t come any closer, just tell me what business you have here.”

“You left us without any warning. It wasn’t fair of you to do that. You could have at least said that something was bothering you, or that you had work at Karazhan. You can’t just _disappear_ like you could when you were with the Kirin Tor. That’s not how we do things in Stormwind.” He looked down at Khadgar, who was still staring at his scroll. “Did you hear a word I said?”

“I left without a warning, you don’t think it’s acceptable, you expected something different from me. Did I miss anything?”

Lothar sighed. Couldn’t Khadgar just take a hint? “Look, spell-chucker, I don’t apologize very often to anyone-”

“Was that what you were trying to do, apologize? It sounded more like a reprimand.”

“-but when I do, you’d best bet that I don’t take it lightly. I don’t know what I said or did that made you feel like leaving, but that wasn’t what I wanted. In fact, I’d like for you to come back to Stormwind with me. Soon. The gryphon is waiting.”

“I would have guessed that you’d be pleased when I left for Karazhan. You’ve been less than subtle about how you feel about this arrangement.”

“What? No, I was just teasing you, getting a jab in. That’s what we do. That’s what we’ve always done. I thought you understood that.”

It isn’t the first time that you’ve implied that I’m an obligation to you, Anduin. I think that you believe it, and I think that you should know how I feel about that. I _told_ you that I don’t know if I could replace Medivh, and that the thought of measuring up to him is enough to terrify me. I thought that you understood that – you acted like you understood that. Then you turned around and acted like you did before. It’s not good enough for me, and I don’t have to listen to it.”

Lothar shook his head. Of course things would have to change between them. Part of him had known that they couldn’t despise each other forever, but part of him liked the insults and the distance and knowing that Khadgar wasn’t worth his time. “You’re right. I knew it was a sore spot and I didn’t care. It was those stupid romance novels. They were a mistake, and by now the whole city knows. I needed to blow off some steam, and let’s face it, you’re an easy target.”

Khadgar looked up from the scroll for the first time. He looked nothing like clever, calculating Medivh; there was intelligence in his eyes, but some trace of humor in there too. “Why do you let the thing with the novels bother you so much? You’re the Lion of Stormwind.”

“I don’t know. I just thought I was smoother than that.”

Khadgar chuckled weakly. “I’ll come back, you idiot, but not right away. There’s a strange amount of magical energy here that needs to be contained, and it should take a few more days at the most. You’re welcome to stay while I finish here or to return to Stormwind.”

“If I go, how will you get back?”  
Khadgar rolled his eyes. “I’ll teleport. I don’t mind if you stay, but I’m not as helpless as you think I am. This is kind of my specialty.”

“Well then I can’t miss it.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter.

He’d dealt with a few magical anomalies during his days with the Kirin Tor, but this one felt different somehow. It felt more chaotic than arcane magic ever had, and it took on a life of its own, as if it thrived on spreading. He knew it from his time as Initiate, but it couldn’t be, could it? Not here in _Karazhan_ of all places, under the protection of the Guardian.

_Unless…_

“This can’t be undone. It can only be contained. I think I know how to do it, but it will take the strength of a Guardian.”

“All that to control a little bit of magic?”

He gave Lothar a grim look. “Not any magic. This is fel energy. Medivh was probably keeping it at bay, but now that he’s gone, any precautions he may have taken are gone as well. I imagine there must be a source, and I’ll need to find it in order to stop this. It’s strange; I didn’t see any sign of this before now.”

He knew that there had to be some larger source for the fel to be growing from, a portal or a corrupted object. Fel _came_ from corruption, from twisting energy and sacrificing things around it. He would follow the traces of fel energy until they became stronger, and he imagined that he would find the undisturbed source there. He hoped that he didn’t find anyone waiting for him when he found it.

“Stay here. This is dangerous.”

Lothar cocked a brow. “Did you forget who saved your life?”

“It’s not the same kind of danger. This magic corrupts. It’s destructive. You can’t just swing a fist at it and hope that it goes away.”

“Then I’ll stay behind you. Come on, someone has to be there to drag you out if you’re not able to stop it.”

Khadgar agreed because he knew that there was no point in arguing with someone like Lothar. He allowed himself to feel the energy around him and decided that it would be best to descend the tower. Fel wouldn’t fall out of the sky, after all. At least, he hoped it wouldn’t.

“What is it that you’re looking for, exactly?”

Khadgar looked back at him. “I’ll get a stronger sense of the energy as we get closer to its source. Fel corruption spreads, so this hint of it in the air hasn’t been here long. When I got here, it was much stronger, so I suspect we’ll find a source somewhere low, perhaps even underground.”

“Medivh kept a place under the tower where he worked when he didn’t want to be disturbed,” Lothar said. “Do you think it could be there?”

“It would be the perfect place: quiet, undisturbed, the last place anyone would go even if they managed to break in. Do you know where we could find the entrance?”

“Course I do. Medivh was one of my best friends when I was your age. Seems like forever ago now.”

“Well, it _was_ forever ago.”

“Shut up, spell-chucker.”

When they opened the metal door to Medivh’s secret workplace, Khadgar let out a scream.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Khadgar and Lothar discover what's beneath Karazhan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Bluemonkey for helping me sort some things out. <3

The sound of Khadgar's scream sent Lothar into a panic. He didn't know what sort of horrors Medivh's secret place could have in store, and knew even less what he could do to save Khadgar if things got out of hand, but he couldn't stand back idly while Khadgar was in danger. His years as a soldier had refined his instincts, and he unsheathed his sword and ran forward until he was just behind Khadgar.

“What is it? What are we up against?” Khadgar stepped aside to give Lothar a better view. He squinted, but all he saw was shadow in the narrow passage that led down the endless staircase. He blinked. “I don't see anything.”

Then Khadgar did something that Lothar never expected him to do: he _laughed._ “I can't _believe_ that you were actually afraid! I thought I would give it away, that you would be able to tell that I was faking. I'm _good._ ”

Lothar scowled at the younger man. “There's fel energy here. Of course I was afraid, you idiot.”

“If something sinister really is waiting for us, it would be at the bottom, not at the doorway. Keep your sword out, though, if you like. You never know what's in these old buildings.”

Lothar was grateful for the strange blue light that Khadgar created as they moved down the uneven staircase. It was rougher than the rest of Karazhan, older, worn down by age. He'd been in rougher ruins, but he was sure that Khadgar was unused to moving in such small, strange places. He kept an eye on the mage even as he tried to watch behind them for any signs of a trap.

The doorway to the final room was so low that even Khadgar had to duck to move forward. He took a step to the side to allow Lothar through, then he let out a shaky breath. “You won't like this,” Khadgar warned.

“I'm not falling for it.”

“No, really. Come here.”

Lothar moved through the doorway and examined the room. The only hint of light was a sickly green glow, a green unlike anything Lothar had ever seen. Medivh's tables had been pushed against the walls as if they'd been pushed aside, and as he looked down, Lothar saw strange green etchings on the dull stone floor. They formed a circle around the room, and in the middle was the remains of someone he had once called Guardian.

 _“No.”_ Lothar took a step toward the circle. He needed to recover Medivh's body, needed to give his friend a proper burial-

“Stop, Lothar. You can't go in there.”

“Who are you to tell me that I can't? He's my _friend._ I need to get him out of here. He doesn't deserve this, to be left here alone!”

“I know, but you _cannot_ step into that circle or your fate will be the same. It would do you no good. Medivh still lives.”

“No. He can't be alive like that.”

Khadgar closed his eyes. “He's being used to fuel _something_. They couldn't use him if his body was dead. No, whoever... or whatever did this this will prolong his life as long as possible to keep the magic strong. I'm surprised that I didn't feel it before. The power of a Guardian being harnessed by his own enemy, imagine...”

He pushed Khadgar back until he was against the wall. _“Do something_ ,” he growled. “Now!”

Khadgar stared at Lothar with wide eyes. “I can't just say a few words and break him free, and even if I could, it's hard to tell what effect it would have on him. We need to find a way to do this right. As the Guardian, that's my duty.”

“Your _duty._ And what of your duty if he survives? Who's the Guardian then?”

Khadgar smiled a sad smile. “His life, or his death, changes nothing. The Council of Tirisfal and the Kirin Tor have chosen me, and they've left Medivh here to die. All the more reason for you to trust me until we get him out of here.”

He didn't know if he could trust Khadgar even if he wanted to. If Medivh had been strong-armed into this, what was some boy fresh out of Dalaran going to be able to do to free him? They couldn't know how much time they had, and he'd never seen Khadgar work powerful spells. Maybe the kid _did_ have it in him, but he had no past successes to draw trust from.

He took a deep breath and looked Khadgar in the eye. There would be no lying to him. “Then his death does nothing for you, but his life means that they could change their mind. It's not in your best interest to save him. Why should I trust you with his life?”

“Because he's your friend and you want him to live, and because your interests _are_ my interests now, not the Kirin Tor's. Truth be told, I'm the only hope you have.”

He sighed. “Let's get to work, then.”


	10. Two Shadows

“This isn't the sort of fel energy that would seep from a random source,” Khadgar said as he studied crude notes from his student days. “The runes that you saw on the floor were drawn intentionally by someone who's experienced with this sort of magic. They knew what they wanted to do, and they knew how to do it. To subdue a Guardian, they either had the element of surprise or they're more powerful than anything I've seen before, which means that we'll have to take precautions.”

Lothar huffed at the layer of dust on the table. “We're wasting enough time as it is. Shouldn't you be doing something more than just reading? Maybe contacting your Kirin Tor friends?”

“The Kirin Tor was done with me when they handed me over to you, and besides, most of them won't understand the nature of this. It's restricted to the high-ranking members of the Kirin Tor and the Guardian, because otherwise you would have hundreds of people abusing the power that fel magic offers. Right now, you should be glad that I'm reading, because a misstep could cost us more than Medivh's life.”

The older man rocked back in his chair. “What do you want me to do, then, while you go over your notes and take your time?”

“You're literate, aren't you? Oh, what am I saying, of course you are, even if you hate to admit it. I need you to find a scroll in this library, an old scroll called “The Song of Aegwynn. Will that task suit you, or do you prefer to sit here playing in the dust?”

Lothar smirked. “I'll find your stupid scroll.”

Khadgar wondered if he could work some sort of divination spell that might aid him. He knew the principles of divination, how it could be used to see things, and he knew a cleric's spell that was used by the holy orders. His spell would be very much the same, but it would need extra elements to point the visions in the right direction, especially in a place as temporally distorted as Karazhan was. He would have to calculate the factors, for he knew that the slightest mistake was likely to have devastated consequences.

He couldn't fail. He knew that he wouldn't fail, for more than his reputation with Anduin Lothar was at stake.

He scribbled the numbers and factors on a spare scroll as he considered them, for he could not afford to forget while he did the spell work. This was the part of magic that no one saw, even as the certainty of sorcery crackled through the air on special days and court mages were pulled out of the shadows as entertainment. This was the powerful aspect, the _dangerous_ aspect, but it was unexciting to the beholder. The precision would be alien to Lothar, even though he knew similar care when it came to a blade. It was a shame that the scholarly arts were so under-appreciated.

It took him three days to work the spell out completely. He was overwhelmed with exhaustion, having slept little during his time thinking. His single-minded determination was one of the things that had led to his position as Guardian Initiate, and now it served him well as he drew his own set of glowing runes on the ground and placed regents here and there.

He turned to Lothar. “If _anything_ goes wrong, I want you to take your gryphon and ride on to Tirisfal Glades. Near the lake, there's a hidden entrance... they'll sense your alarm and find you. Tell them that there is trouble with the Guardian, and that Karazhan may fall. Do you understand?”

“You're gonna be fine, bookworm.”

“Do you understand, Lothar?”

At last, the man nodded.

He began to cast the spell with more confidence in his voice than what he felt.

“Bring me a vision of Medivh being subjugated,” he commanded.

He felt the air around him warm as the core of the spell began to shift the world around him and a different time fell into place. It was working, he realized, taking him to what he needed. The room was spinning around him, but soon he was under Karazhan again, and he was forced to steady himself against the wall. Khadgar felt sick to his stomach, but he kept his eyes open. He needed to know.

That's when he saw a green monstrocity unlike anything he'd seen before.

The creature was hunched over as if deformed, and its robes hung off its massive body like rags, but he steadied himself with the confidence of one with much power. Tusks jutted out of the creature's mouth, not like troll tusks but similar enough, yet this was no troll. Its eyes glowed red.

“You have done us well, _mage_ , but your services are still required.”

Medivh smiled a knowing smile, and something in his eyes told Khadgar that something was very, very wrong, that this wasn't truly Medivh. He tilted his head toward the ground, and that's when he saw it, the thing that made all of his worse fears come alive.

_Medivh had two shadows._

Light, something had to be done. He watched Medivh-who-was-not-Medivh give himself willingly, and he vomited once, twice, three times. It couldn't be true. The Guardian couldn't fall. How would he tell the Council? How would he tell Anduin?

No, he couldn't tell Anduin. It would kill him to know.

He felt the ground shift under him as he returned to the present, and he fell to his knees. Cold sweat covered him, and he was trembling, but he had to keep going a while longer, just long enough to get to the Council before...

“Whoa, you don't look right. Sit down. Come here. Rest.” Lothar's strong hands were pulling him into a chair, but Khadgar struggled against him weakly.

“Can't. Have to go. Tirisfal. Now. _Please.”_ He retched. “Light help me.”

“What did you see in there?”

“I can't. Please just get ready. We don't have time to tarry.”

He hoped that he had the energy to teleport them both. If the vision was true, and he knew that it was, the situation was more dire than anyone but the Council could imagine.


	11. Tirisfalen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Khadgar seeks help from the Council of Tirisfal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I sort of went more with the game lore with this one. Hopefully that doesn't make it too confusing for anyone who hasn't played or anything. :) Basically these are just the people who are supposed to work beside the Guardian, choose a new one, all that.

Before they set out, Khadgar knew that he wouldn't be able to talk to the Tirisfalen with Lothar in the room. It still upset him when he was rushed into their meeting chamber alone, leaving Lothar to wonder about the nature of their meeting. It wasn't fair, he knew, to leave Lothar alone while he revealed that one of the man's oldest friends was possessed by an enemy of Azeroth. It wasn't fair for him to decide what Lothar could and couldn't know. But he _was_ deciding, and the Council would be glad of his restraint. He just hoped that when the time came, Lothar would understand.

“To what do we owe the honor, Guardian?” one of the mages asked him as he stepped inside.

“You're not going to like this,” Khadgar warned them. “I went to Karazhan in the hope of accessing some of Medivh's resources, but I sensed something sinister there: fel magic. Imagine my surprise when I tracked it to a very living Medivh, a Medivh that you should have _known_ was alive. This deception on its own should have kept me away from you, but I knew that it couldn't be any common mage that subdued a Guardian, so I conceived a spell to see exactly what was behind this.” He looked around at the hooded figures. “Or do you know about that as well?”

The elf closest to him stepped forward. “We knew that Medivh was living, that much is true. He was out of line. He would not reply to our correspondence. Like his arrogant mother, he had to have his own way in all things. That is why the power was given to you. Beyond that, there is nothing that we know. What did you find?”

Khadgar furrowed his brow. “It was a strange creature, tusked like a troll, but much larger than any troll ever seen. It was so _large_ that it could overwhelm a normal soldier with force. The truth is that Medivh gave himself up willingly, and that this creature was a master of fel magic. I wish I could say that was the end of it, but Medivh had two shadows. I fear the Burning Legion has been involved with him for some time.”

“This cannot be. There would have been some sign that we would have seen...”

“Not necessarily. I thought about it. How is it that he would be able to trick not only the Council, but his closest friends and family? How could it be so impossible to see a change of character that significant?”

One of the members in the back craned his head to examine Khadgar. “What conclusion did you come to, Guardian?”

“Isn't it clear? To be so seamless, to overwhelm and corrupt a Guardian without resistance, he had to be corrupted from birth. You know the story of Aegwynn, how she met Sargeras and defeated him in a grand display of power. It couldn't have been that easy to defeat the Lord of the Burning Legion in his true form. In the following years, Aegwynn took her own path and made her own son the Guardian. I think that he may have waited all that time for his moment, and he took it when Medivh was conceived.”

“If what you say is true, we should make haste to find the creature and see what we can learn.”

“Wait.” Khadgar knew that appealing to the Council was like reading a murloc a bedtime story, but he had to try. For Lothar and what little peace they had. “If at all possible, I want to take care of this possession in such a way that Medivh would be left alive. He may have knowledge that we can use about our enemy.”

“Do not be so naïve. There will be no saving him.”

“I may be new here, but I am still your Guardian, and I won't act against him until I'm _sure_ that we have no way to save him. I hope we can work together toward that end, but if not, I'll be forced to find my own way.”

He wondered if the words were enough to convince them or if more trouble was still to come.

 

 

Lothar wasn't a mage (thank the Light) but that didn't stop him from being _outraged_ that they would leave him alone while Khadgar went inside alone to tell them whatever he'd discovered. Didn't they know he was barely more than a kid, and a sheltered one at that? Didn't they know how terrified he must be? Lothar cursed. It was _his_ job to protect him, and he was failing.

He moved closer to the door and tried to listen, but it was no use. The mages had spelled the door so that no one could hear them. _I wouldn't even know if they were killing them right now._ He slammed a fist into the wall.

No, they couldn't be killing Khadgar. If they meant him harm, Lothar reasoned, they wouldn't have bothered to separate him from Lothar. In fact, they might have gone so far as to kill Lothar first before he could get too close to them. No, they were really talking beyond those doors. It was the subject matter that needed to be hidden, but why?

The door creaked open after what seemed to be an eternity, and Khadgar stepped out from behind the one who opened the door, looking exhausted but otherwise no worse for wear.

“The Tirisfalen are willing to help us uncover the one who was behind the attack,” Khadgar told him. “There may be more than one of them. We should warn Stormwind; they are the kingdom closest to Karazhan and therefore more likely to be targeted.”

“That's a long trip from here.”

“I can teleport us into the keep. This really can't wait. I wish I could explain, but you need to know that this is grave.” He grimaced. “Stand in the middle of the room.”

He waited obediantly for Khadgar to cast the spell. The blue glow of arcane magic surrounded him, and even his eyes glowed blue with power. There was something fascinating about it, Lothar thought, something strange and unfathomable that he wanted to explore. He had a natural aversion to mages – like everyone, he feared what they might do – but Khadgar was like Medivh, not the Kirin Tor. He moved closer to Khadgar, and the mage looked at him curiously. He reached toward Khadgar, and like that, they were gone.


	12. A Day Of Rest

Stormwind was easy to brief, Khadgar discovered when he and Lothar returned to the keep. Llane harbored the same distrust of mages that all of Azeroth did, but he trusted his friend and senior commander, and Lothar’s reinforcement of the gravity of the problem served to convince the king that there was truly danger near his city. As they stood there together, Khadgar was grateful that Lothar chose to emphasize his trust in Khadgar when the time was right, trust that Khadgar hadn’t known that Lothar had in him.

“What course of action do you recommend?” Llane asked them both.

Lothar looked at him. “It depends on what you think these creatures are capable of. This is your area of expertise, bookworm.”

“To perform that kind of magic, it had to possess some level of intelligence, enough to command forces similar to the way mages in Dalaran command the arcane. There is a reason the Kirin Tor snatches candidates when it finds them; everyone is capable of magic, but not everyone is suited for mastering the more advanced aspects of it. This creature was able to draw from the destructive power of fel magic without being overrun by it. They will be cunning, even if their size would allow them to use brute force.”

Lothar nodded at him. “Then keep the men close to the city. The last thing we need is to have our attention divided.”

“I trust your judgment. Take some time to rest before you set out again. As always, Stormwind is yours.”

Khadgar made an awkward bow before Lothar dragged him to their room. He tried to break away, but Lothar’s grip on his wrist was like iron, and he sighed in defeat. “I really should do some more research before we go. If there’s anything I can find that may aid us, we’ll need it.”

“You’re going to rest,” Lothar said stubbornly. “You’ve hardly slept in days. Get that silly robe off and get in the bed.” He undid the straps of his armor as he had so many times before and discarded it without care for organization and threw himself on the bed.

“You’re in my way,” Khadgar complained.

“So climb over me. You’re tall enough.”

Khadgar crawled past Lothar, taking care not to let himself linger over Lothar for fear that the ease that they’d found in past days would dissolve. He squeezed himself into the corner. It was too small after sleeping in Medivh’s quarters. “Why do you have to take up so much space?”

“Come here,” Lothar said. He pulled Khadgar closer to him as if moving him was moving a rag doll. His back was pressed to Anduin’s chest, and his head was dangerously close to Lothar’s shoulder. Was Anduin actually asking him to lean on him? There had to be some trick. When Anduin settled an arm around Khadgar’s stomach, the mage _knew_ that something wasn’t right.

“What are you doing?”  
“If I don’t hold you here, you’ll try to sneak off to the library the second you think I’m asleep. I’m a light sleeper, so don’t try anything.”

Khadgar considered trying to struggle free, but he knew that his flimsy body was no match for Anduin Lothar, especially when he made up his mind about something. Besides, he admitted, it felt strangely _nice_ to lean into Anduin. He wasn’t soft like the mattress, but his warmth radiated around Khadgar and soothed him, as did the gentle rise and fall of his chest. Khadgar could smell hints of sweat and leather and soap mingling together on the man.

He didn’t like it, but he _liked_ being so close to Anduin, and somehow it pleased him that Anduin trusted him enough to fall asleep like this, even if he didn’t like Khadgar at all.

“I never thought you would worry about my sleep cycle,” Khadgar said, trying to make light of the situation.

“Well, I never thought that you’d turn out to be more than a troublesome kid. You, uh, really know your stuff.”

Khadgar smiled at the compliment. “Years in Dalaran will do that. I’m sure that even the mages here in Stormwind might surprise you if you spoke to them.”

“But not like you. I saw you working on that spell, and I don’t know much about magic, but I know that you made it up. You’re powerful.”

“Lots of mages change spells to suit there needs,” Khadgar insisted. “It isn’t rare at all in Dalaran. In fact, in our final examination, if we are to become suitable graduates, we must show that we are able to understand the principles of spell manipulation.”

“On a piece of paper, sure, but this was different. Something was wrong and it terrified you but you worked through it to find an answer. I think that Medivh would be impressed by you.”

Khadgar tilted his head to look into Lothar’s eyes. “Are you saying that you were similarly impressed?”

“I was definitely impressed. It was strange to see your eyes glowing blue. Medivh’s have done that before when we were off fighting trolls in our youth, but you looked different.”

 _Could it be that Lothar had seen signs of the fel?_ “Different how?”

“I don’t know, you’re just different to me than Medivh. He’s an old friend and you’re-”

“An alliance,” Khadgar finished, unable to keep the disappointment out of his voice. “I get it.”

“Not what I was going for,” Lothar said. “You’re not so familiar to me, so it’s different seeing you do magic.”

“This feels pretty familiar,” Khadgar said.

Lothar let out a barking laugh. “Familiar indeed. Go to sleep, Khadgar. We can talk in the morning.”

“It is the morning.”

“Just shut up and sleep.”

Khadgar buried his head in Lothar’s shoulder and fell asleep there, his body warmed by the quilt draped around his waist and the shared heat of Anduin Lothar’s body. It was peaceful there, and Khadgar fell into a dreamless sleep, finally able to push thoughts of fel magic and Medivh and the Burning Legion out of his head.


	13. Rest

When Anduin woke up, he was still pinned by the dead weight of Khadgar sleeping against him. It was meant to be something innocent, a rare chance to let him sleep, but now that Khadgar wasn’t awake to keep his mind occupied, Lothar knew that it was something else. The truth was that he wanted Khadgar near him. It wasn’t so rare for them to be alone, but after waiting for Khadgar to emerge from that strange chamber with figures who hid in the shadows, Lothar was oddly grateful to have Khadgar to himself.

It was natural, he reasoned, to feel these things after what they’d seen and found. After all, in the wake of those things, he knew that Khadgar wasn’t such a kid after all, and the feel of not-such-a-kid-Khadgar so close to him excited him in ways that he didn’t want to think about just yet. He kept Khadgar pulled close to him and leaned his head town to bury his face in the man’s hair. _It’s not wrong for me to feel closer to him_ , Lothar told himself. Khadgar’s hair was soft against his face.

Suddenly, Khadgar’s head shifted beneath him and the young man was looking at him with those curious brown eyes. Lothar wondered what Khadgar was thinking, but his face was unreadable. “What are you doing?” he asked.

“I don’t really know,” he admitted.

“Hmmm.” He closed his eyes. “I’m not ready to wake up yet.”

“Still tired?”

“Not at all.” He smiled lazily. “You make a very comfortable cushion, and I’m not sure that I’m ready to find out what’s waiting for us outside of these walls.”

“We could wait until one of your colleagues comes with news,” Lothar suggested. “There’s nothing we can do until they’ve found those creatures. Until then, we can just lay here-”

“I really should get some reading done,” Khadgar said. “I’ve never actually fought creatures so large, and I wouldn’t know where to begin.”

“If they’re stronger, you have to be faster and smarter. I’ll show you.” He grinned in a way that he hoped wasn’t too predatory. “Sit up.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Just do it.”

Khadgar sat up. Still grinning, Lothar took hold of his shoulders and pushed him down. He pinned Khadgar down beneath him. Khadgar moved desperately beneath him, but his movements were erratic. _He can’t escape to save his life,_ Lothar realized with a pang of fear.

“Look, I’m a deadly opponent. You need to try to escape.”

“I _am_ trying!” Khadgar squirmed beneath him. “You’re too strong for me.”

“You have to be smarter, remember? You could use your spells, but then if I cover your mouth-” he cupped Khadgar’s mouth with his hand gently. “-you’re stuck with your natural ability. What you need to do is search for your opponent’s weakness and exploit it before they decide that you’re better to them dead than alive. Go on, find my weakness.”

Lothar rolled off the mage in pain as Khadgar kneed him in the groin. _Light, I should have put on a cup._

Khadgar was at his side. “I’m sorry, Anduin! You said to find your weakness, and I went to the first place that crossed my mind...” His face had turned a deep red.

“First thing that came to mind, was it? Guess those Steamy Romance Novels might actually pay off at some point.” He laughed as Khadgar’s face turned redder than he thought was possible.

“You’re a _child_ ,” Khadgar huffed.

Lothar grinned at him. _Maybe he’s not such a bad match for me after all._

 

Two days passed until the Tirisfalen chose to contact Khadgar. The letter was not delivered by courier, but materialized on Lothar’s desk as Khadgar stared absently at a page of one of his Steamy Romance Novels. It was no surprise to Khadgar that the Council would not trust another living person with the letter. What surprised him was that the letter had come so soon.

 

_I hope that this letter finds you well, Guardian. The creatures that you saw in your vision are indeed on Azeroth in great number, inhabiting the land known as the Black Morass. The land has already begun to warp under the influence of fel energy. Return to Tirisfal soon so that we may discuss how to proceed._

Lothar barged in from a visit to his sister. “I need to go to Tirisfal.”

“When do we leave?”

“You’re coming with me?” Even though he would serve no purpose, Khadgar hoped that Lothar would come with him. It made everything easier, having someone strong like Anduin at his side.

“Why wouldn’t I? We’re in this together.”

 _“_ Together, then.”


	14. A Treatise on Elf Relations

“You return to us swiftly, Guardian,” the robed man said as they entered the chamber. “The Council is pleased at your cooperation.”

Khadgar's face betrayed nothing. He was brave, Anduin determined, for being unafraid of a mage who had no affection for him. How was it that he hadn't seen this side of Khadgar before?

“You have information for me. I would have it.”

The mage lowered his hood, and silver-blonde hair spilled over his slender shoulders. He had a fine face, long ears and blue eyes that stared at Lothar in a way that made it clear that he was unwelcome. A high elf, then. “I would bestow it when we are alone,” he said in a clipped tone.

“This is the commander of Stormwind, second only to King Llane himself. He is aiding me in the matter of these creatures, and you have nothing to fear from him. Now tell me what you know, please.”

 _Don't say 'please' to them. It's what they want._ “We are above the kingdoms of Azeroth, Guardian. Surely you were told that during your time training to fill the role?”

“I learned that Aegwynn refused to comply with the Council's wishes and kept her powers until she found her replacement in Medivh.”

The elf looked as if he'd been slapped. “Do not make the mistake of becoming arrogant in your new position. You are no Aegwynn.”

“And this is not holding the power of the Guardian hostage. I urge you to consider my wishes in this, knowing that there is no harm that can be done here.”

The elf studied Khadgar for a long moment. “I do not understand the importance of this to you, but for the sake of working together, I will concede to your wishes this once. They are called orcs, and they have gathered in alarming number in the land we know as the Black Morass, near Deadwind Pass.” With a wave of his hand, the mage conjured an image of a brutish green figure bigger than anything Lothar had ever seen. The _muscles_ on those beasts...

“That explains how they were able to come to Karazhan so easily without being detected. But where did they come from?”

“Another world,” the mage said. “It's likely that Medivh worked with them to bring them here. We located a portal in the Black Morass near where they are camped.”

“Medivh wouldn't do that,” Lothar protested. “He was the Guardian.”

“Oh, he certainly complied with them at the very least. At the most, he played host to the most powerful enemy Azeroth has ever known.”

Lothar shook his head. No. Medivh was good, better than this arrogant elf who would stand in the shadows and pass judgment and make assumptions... “I won't hear him slandered this way,” Lothar said. “You stripped him of his power; that was enough of a dishonor without this.”

“I have no desire to slander a former Guardian. Hasn't the Guardian kept you informed? Medivh was _possessed_ when he was used as an energy source. That's why he came to the Council in the first place.”

He turned his rage to Khadgar. “That isn't true. You would have told me.” He looked at Khadgar. The mage wouldn't turn and _look at him_ , and he just stood there without saying a word. Lothar took him by the shoulders and shook him. “You lied to me?”

“I didn't lie!”

“Take your hands off of the Guardian.”

“I'll take my hands off him when he tells me why he needed to hide this from me. This should be good.”

Khadgar shook his head. “Please. This isn't the place-”

“You're right. The place was in Karazhan as soon as you knew. Medivh is my friend; I had the right to know this, and you didn't say a word to me!” Lothar shoved Khadgar away from him. He stumbled back and caught himself on the wall.

“Come, you didn't think that the Guardian would summon the Council of Tirisfal because he couldn't fight a group of beasts, did you? Even someone like you knows that the Guardian has more power than that.”

He didn't say another word. He needed to get out of that chamber before he decided to hurt one of the mages. Why had he thought that Khadgar would be any less deceptive than the rest of them? He should have known that mages were trouble. He should have known...

Light, he needed a drink.

 

 

“You did that on purpose to spite me,” Khadgar said. “You didn't like someone stepping in your territory, and you thought you could interfere and make trouble because the lives we protect are arbitrary to you. That disgusts me.”

“Do not be so judgmental. He has no place in the world of a Guardian and you know that. There is a reason that Medivh was alone.”

“And look what happened to Medivh when he was alone!” Tears welled in Khadgar's eyes. “I only agreed to accept the power instead of running away because the Kirin Tor promised me that it wouldn't be the same with me. You will send help to deal with the orcs, and I will see to Medivh myself, because it's clear that you have no idea how to manage your own Guardians.”

The night air stung his wet face as he searched for Lothar. He needed to set things right with the man if only to ease his guilt and Lothar's suffering. That would mean showing him that he meant to save Medivh if there was any way to do so. That would mean telling him the truth... even if he hated it.

He found Lothar sitting at the edge of Lordamere Lake, staring at the sky. “There you are!” he called. “I thought I'd never find you.”

“Go away, spell-chucker. I don't want your kind near me.”

“Please let me explain.”

“What explanation could you possibly have for lying to me about something like this? About Medivh of all people?”

Khadgar sat next to him. “I didn't think you would help me if I told you what I saw. I didn't think you would even _believe_ me. How could you accept it when someone you hardly know claims that your best friend is possessed?”

Lothar snorted. “He always was strange, and it only got worse as time went by. I believe you.”

“You hardly trusted me as it was. You were still learning to respect me – don't claim that you did, because I know that you didn't. I didn't like it, but I know that respect takes time. I was going to tell you, but I needed time.”

“Are you going to kill him?” When he looked up at Lothar his eyes were blazing. “Were you going to tell me before or after you buried him, or were you going to skip that part?”

“I'm going to try to save him. There's no guarantee that I can, but...” he shrugged. “I wanted to try. I know he's your old friend, and he served Azeroth for a long time. No one deserves to die like this.”

“Maybe that elf,” Lothar said. “Tell me why I should trust you when you've lied to me once.”

“Because I want your respect. The Council has its own ideas about what should happen, and I imagine that the Kirin Tor cares little for what I want, but I just went against the Council's wishes so that I could do this. I could lose my power over that. And despite everything, you're the only one who's on my side, and I want to honor that.”

He hoped the words would be enough. Maybe if Anduin looked hard enough, he would see that Khadgar cared about him. Maybe if he looked, he would see that it was something with deeper roots than honor that drove him to save Medivh. He hoped that if Anduin Lothar saw that, he would feel something similar, that somehow things would be the same as before. Khadgar had his doubts.

“Why do you care whether I respect you? You could find someone else to be at your side, maybe even another mage who knows how to help you. Although it would take one hell of a mage to keep you out of trouble.”

“Shut up, Anduin.” Khadgar grinned despite the graveness of it all. “I don't want to find someone else if I still have you. Even if you leave, I don't think I will. It won't be the same.”

“One more chance,” Lothar said at last. “If you mess it up this time, I'll take you back to Dalaran myself.”


	15. The Power of A Guardian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Khadgar works to free Medivh.

He spends day after day studying the mess that was never meant to be seen, the crumpled former Guardian cast into the sickly green light of fel. There is a strangeness about it, using one who was meant to protect Azeroth to invade it, and Khadgar wonders if the Lord of the Legion had thought it fitting when he decided to wait for the opportunity. He has studied possession before, but it was all treatises and diagrams, nothing so real as this, and Khadgar finds himself wondering whether any trace of Medivh is left in the defiled body or if it could truly be _all_ Sargeras.

_For Lothar's sake and mine, there had better be a man in there._

He is sure that he could recall Medivh's features even if he never saw them again, so long has he watched the man for any sign of change. He takes liberties with recording, but he knows that there will be questions when it all ends, and he wants to remember the face in case he isn't strong enough to save the man. He's not as strong as he would like to be and never has been, but maybe, just maybe, he can pull through this and surprise himself.

Something snaps in him after all the waiting and he kneels at the ex-Guardian's side, mindful of the taint of fel all around them. He takes care to try to move Medivh, and relief washes over him when there is only one shadow this time. He decides that the time has come to act, whether or not he is ready. Something in him must be ready, he reasons, to be so close to someone so dangerous.

Khadgar wonders whether he should call Lothar into the room, but he decides against it, not because he doesn't want the company, but because there is a very real chance that Medivh could wake and kill him, or that his magic could go wrong and cause havoc. He's heard the stories, and he doesn't want to be responsible for another's life.

 _You_ _are no Aegwynn._ He recalled the Tirisfalen's words. If there was any time for him to wish that he was more capable, it was this. Aegwynn had broken the rules, but the Guardian was allowed to break laws, defy nature, without consequences...

 _Maybe I don't need to be Aegwynn. I'm a Guardian, and that means I can do all that I need to do. I don't have to take the same care as I did before._ Of course. He should have realized it before, but now he knew, and now he could act.

Raw arcane energy flows through his body and his fingertips as he bends it to his will. He doesn't know where the words on his lips come from, but they make sense to him. This knowledge is nothing the Kirin Tor could teach him; it is innate, and it guides him when he is unable to conceive of it. It is his magic, but it is also Medivh's and Aegwynn's and Alodi's and all the Guardians between them.

The words that pass through his lips are destructive. He knows that in order to save Medivh, he must kill him. It is a vulgar truth, but as Medivh falls breathless in his arms, he feels the unprepared spirit of Sargeras passing through.

 _Now for the hard part,_ he thinks as he lifts Medivh off of him.

 

 

The past days have been too quiet for Lothar's liking. He is a man used to barracks and taverns, and the world of scholars and mages is altogether too stuffy for a man like him. He doesn't understand what Khadgar could gain by sitting with Medivh hour after hour. Still, he stays out of the basement, not because he _has_ to, but because he has no desire to see his friend in the state he's in.

Khadgar said that he would do his best to help Medivh, and Lothar finds himself believing Khadgar even if he's never trusted a mage before, but he wonders if Khadgar's best will be enough. Lothar's never seen a mage like Medivh, and he knows that's not a coincidence, but he knows now that there's a side of Khadgar he's never seen. It's not his place to question him just yet.

A letter is delivered to Karazhan within days of their arrival, and Lothar opens it because nothing addressed to Khadgar should hold secrets too sacred for him to read. _The foreign threat is being subdued,_ the note says. _Act with caution. We hope to read your report when your job is done._ Lothar snorts. The Council must fear losing Khadgar if they feel the need to deliver a report when they were so silent before.

The letter _belongs_ to Khadgar even if he read it, and so he descends the winding chamber to deliver the letter. He's glad to see Khadgar, even if he's still at odds with him. What he finds when he opens the door makes him stop dead in his tracks.

Medivh is pale – deathly pale, more than he's ever been – and his body is limp on the floor, but he has been dragged out of the fel circle. For a moment, Anduin wonders if the time has come to say goodbye to an old friend. Then he sees Khadgar, and he wonders.

This is not the boy he was forced into a match with. Khadgar is glowing with the blue energy that crackles around him; strange words pour from his lips faster than Lothar can comprehend, and his eyes glow with the magic he channels. His hands crackle with power as he channels it, and the power pours into Medivh.

Khadgar looks like Medivh did when they were younger. He looks powerful and in control and otherworldly, and it terrifies Lothar, but it also fills him with awe. He wonders what it feels like to have that power at your disposal. He wonders if Khadgar's skin feels any different with the arcane pulsing through him, whether it cools his skin. He wonders if Khadgar can even see him in the doorway or if a spell like this consumes every bit of you until the magic is all that remains.

When the spell fades, he wonders if it worked. He sees the slightest movement, so small that he wonders if he imagined it, but then Medivh gasps for air and Anduin knows that Khadgar did _something_. Lothar reaches for his sword even though he's not sure that he could ever hurt Medivh, even for Khadgar. Khadgar keeps an arm extended as he crouches and edges toward the confused Medivh. Khadgar casts a spell that serves to weigh him down despite his half-hearted attempts to do anything but brace himself against the wall.

“Show me your eyes,” Khadgar says.

That seems like a strange request to Lothar, but Medivh understands what Anduin does not. When he looks at Khadgar with his unwavering stare, his eyes glow with the blue of arcane. It has been a long time since Anduin saw Medivh like that. He hopes that the effort won't exhaust the man.

“I thought so. We should move you out of this basement before we proceed, I think, and then we can work on feeding you.”

Medivh still watches Khadgar. “Who are you and what are you doing here?”

“I am the Guardian of Azeroth, and I've come to free you. I think it would be best to teleport you, given the distance to Stormwind. We certainly can't stay here. Anduin, we'll need to support him when I perform the spell. He can put one arm around your shoulders and the other around mine.”

Medivh looks at Lothar as if noticing him for the first time. “Anduin? What's going on here, and what is your role in all of this?”

“No time. We'll talk in Stormwind. Up you go.” Medivh's dead weight is little to him after carrying dying and dead men across the field of battle. Lothar doesn't need Khadgar to help him support the weight, but he lets him do it if only to bring them closer together. “You got a letter from the Council. I opened it.”

“You read my letters now?”

Lothar looks at him. “I had to know you weren't sneaking with them behind my back. You would have done the same thing.”

“I hope this serves as proof that I meant all that I said. It was a risk, and the Council won't like it, but I did it.”

 _I did it for you._ Khadgar didn't say it, but Lothar understands the implication, or at least he wants to think that's what Khadgar means. Having someone do something so significant for his happiness isn't alien to Lothar – Llane does so much for him that he can't count the favors anymore – but this is different because it's Khadgar, because they share a too-small bed and there's supposed to be something between them other than this strange working relationship they've been forced into.

Lothar smiles. There will be time to clarify things later, but it is time to care for Medivh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't sure where to go with this, but I know that in the gameverse, death is ultimately what frees Medivh, and Aegwynn is the one to bring him back to life later with her crazy Guardian powers. For that reason I didn't think it was too crazy to have Khadgar able to do it given the right motivation, and I hope you agree.


	16. Denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Khadgar bonds with Medivh.

Medivh had endless questions for Khadgar, inane things that Lothar thought he had no business asking a total stranger. _How old were you when they took you? When you started your training as a future Guardian? Not old enough, I gather. Why did the Kirin Tor decide to bring you into an arrangement here?_

It was only upon hearing those questions and seeing Medivh's unnerving stare fixed on Khadgar that Lothar realized that he'd never asked Khadgar those questions himself. Why hadn't he shown an interest earlier? Wasn't it wise to know more about who you shared a bed with? He knew that he hadn't asked because he hadn't cared, but he cared now, and those were answers meant for him, not for Medivh. Khadgar seemed not to notice Anduin's frustration as he considered the questions.

“I was six years old when they took me. I remember being terrified, but my parents begged me not to cry. I can't remember their faces clearly, it's been so long. From the time I started my training, I was a fast learner. I remember that while the other students were still trying to light candles, I set fire to Kel'Thuzad's robes by accident. I was sure that I would be punished, but he laughed and laughed until I laughed too.

“When I was twelve years old, they pulled me out of classes to speak with Archmage Antonidas. I was terrified, since he never took the time to speak to any of the initiates. He told me that I had a higher role to fill than the others, that I had been destined for it since the first step I took into Dalaran. I didn't want to do it, but he flattered me. I told him how alone I was, and he told me that it was because I was set apart from the others; I told him that I wasn't ready, and he told me that I would only be ready once I started training.

“I've never been through something so insane. They trained me day and night. Once I read the books, they sent terror after terror for me to fight, and with some struggle I overcame them. I hardly slept, and when I did, I had the worst nightmares. I was so ready to run away, but he forbade it. The Council of Tirisfal came and bestowed the powers of the Guardian on me, and then Antonidas changed. He said he would find me a match with someone great in Stormwind, and I could find a home there. I was afraid, but I did it. I've never had a home before. I thought I would be welcome here.”

“Were you?”

“Not at all. Certainly the king and queen welcomed me as they'd brokered the arrangement with Antonidas, but my match wasn't pleased.”

“You can say my name,” Lothar grumbled. “It's not some great secret.” _Don't you cast me aside now that a powerful mage is in the room. You're still stuck with me._

 

 

He and Medivh had a great deal in common, Khadgar discovered as he spent more time with the former Guardian. It wasn't just the magical ability, though that was the most obvious link they shared. They were both plunged into a world-altering position at a young age, and both were starved of the affection of parents and mentors. Medivh only found companionship in Lothar and King Llane; Khadgar was unsure that he had any companions.

When Medivh looked at him with his piercing green eyes, Khadgar felt like every part of him was exposed, that it was possible that Medivh could know more about him from a look than he knew about himself. It was unnerving and comforting all at once. Medivh spoke little other than to question Khadgar, but Khadgar was comfortable with the silence. It gave him to speak and to adjust to another person in his life.

“They told me stories about you, you know. The Kirin Tor, I mean. They said you slayed jungle trolls with your magic when you weren't yet a man, and that it was your immense powers that put you into a coma that none could wake you from. They said that your whims were arbitrary, that you were prone to bouts of anger and refused to speak to any of the less powerful mages...” He paused to take a breath. “They wanted your knowledge. They were jealous.”

“The Kirin Tor have spent _decades_ sending me letters begging me to answer one question or another. They weren't worth my time.”

“Is that what you think, that because you know so much, those who know less aren't worth your time?”

“I believe that those who are bold enough to send me letter after letter filled with silly questions but not bold enough to do a few years of field research do not deserve my answers. Tell me, Guardian, would you have done something so foolish?”

“I sent you a letter once,” Khadgar said, hoping that his blush wasn't too obvious.

“What did it say?”

“I'm not sure that I want to say now.”

Medivh smiled for the first time since they'd met. “Go on. What question could be worse than the ones I've seen from your teachers?”

“ _Fine._ I asked... I asked why you didn't train me yourself if you knew so much more than the Kirin Tor. I asked for you to come take me away and make me your apprentice so I could follow in _your_ steps instead of being their pawn. And I asked how I was supposed to replace someone so widely feared and respected when I still catch my sleeves on fire with pyroblasts.”

He laid a hand on Khadgar's shoulder. Medivh's eyes never left his, and Khadgar felt like shrinking away, but he couldn't, not with someone like Medivh looking at him like that. “You saw what became of me. It's better that you didn't take my place, but found your own. If you are still troubled, I will teach you as my mother should have taught me, but know that I am not an easy master to follow. That is, of course, if you trust me after what you've seen.”

“I trust you,” he breathed. He wasn't sure that he trusted anyone like he trusted Medivh.

 

 

“What am I supposed to do with my one day off while Khadgar's in the library drooling over Medivh?” Lothar asked his sister. “He brought the man to life. It's not like he's any more powerful than Khadgar is. What could they possibly be discussing?”

“You're jealous,” Taria said with a sly smile.

“I'm not jealous! I just don't get it. And what interest could Medivh have in Khadgar? He's always hated kids. He never took an apprentice because he couldn't stand the Kirin Tor. Now he's got a Kirin Tor kid looking at him like he's King of Azeroth and he's happy about it?”

“Khadgar isn't a child and you know it. Why don't you talk to Khadgar tonight if you're so worried? If you want something more with Khadgar, you need to say so.”

“I don't want him like that, Taria, I just don't want anyone else to have him.” She gave him _the look_ and he sighed, knowing he was defeated. “It's not _that_. It couldn't be.”

“Then spend your time denying, but Khadgar has many things in common with Medivh. It's a real possibility that he could come to see Medivh as something more if you don't intervene.”

“He's _mine_ , Taria. Light, we're married. It didn't mean anything when we went into it, but I can't stand by and let him do this, because it would dishonor Stormwind and it would dishonor me. Besides, Medivh would force him further into that world of books and scholarship, and someone like that needs more than that. He needs adventure. You should have seen the way he changed when we set out to save Medivh. He was a different person, someone I could respect. Someone I could...”

He couldn't say the rest. He couldn't let Medivh say it either. He was truly at a loss.


	17. A New Sort Of Studying

Anduin doesn't remember the last time he was so worried about anything – he's a man of action, not contemplation, but now everything seems so much more complicated than he's used to and he doesn't know where to begin. When he looks at Khadgar it's like he's seeing him for the first time all over again. He takes in the sight of him talking to Medivh, and something in his gut tells him that he should intervene, but it's not the time yet.

Medivh catches him staring before Khadgar even notices that he's in the room, and he greets him like they've never been apart. Lothar does his best to smile at Medivh, who he's glad to see alive and well despite the pain it might cause him in the long run.

“It will be nice to have another mage in the tower; for all of our exploits, you've never been interested in any of that,” Medivh says.

Lothar wants to correct him, for he knows that he felt _very_ interested when he saw Khadgar's eyes glowing blue, but the time isn't right. “You mages are too preoccupied with your studies to realize how dull the rest of us find them.”

“You would call them dull. You're far too used to the military life to be of any scholarly use.”

Khadgar's brows furrow in confusion as he watches them go back and forth like old friends tend to do. Despite everything, the years separating them, the differences they have, they've been friends since childhood, and Lothar can tell that this is the Medivh he knew. None of the fel business has removed that, at least.

Medivh wanders off to bed and leaves Lothar alone in the library with Khadgar. Lothar wonders whether he did it on purpose. It seems like something Medivh would do, leave him to settle the mess that is his personal life under the guise of resting. He has no idea what to say to Khadgar, and it's strange, not feeling confident around him.

“I want you to myself.” The words come out before he can consider them, before he can think to take them back. He finds that he doesn't mind them.

Khadgar looks up from the book he's reading. “I'm sorry, I think I misheard you.”

He plucks the book from Khadgar's hands. “Then I'll make it perfectly clear.”

He isn't sure what possesses him to do it, but he doesn't stop himself. He kisses Khadgar because he doesn't have anything left to lose. It's reckless and he knows it, but he needs to know what it feels like to have Khadgar's mouth against his in case he doesn't have another chance. Khadgar relaxes against him and he wraps a possessive arm around the mage. He knows that he should be gentle, that Khadgar's never had anything like this before, but he doesn't loosen his grip.

It isn't what he expected. It's softer, more tender this way, with Khadgar unsure of how to go further and Lothar running his hand down Khadgar's cheek, striving to know what it feels like. He rests his forehead against Khadgar's.

When he looks down at Khadgar, those brown eyes are looking at him like they've seen a god. Anduin grins at him. “I said 'I want you to myself.' Maybe next time you'll drop the book and listen.”

“I seriously doubt it,” Khadgar breathes. He blushes the moment he realizes what he said. “What now, Anduin? You can't just kiss me and say something like that then walk away like nothing happened, you know.”

“I don't know where to go from here. All I know is that you're not running off to Tirisfal or Dalaran or anywhere else just yet.”

By Khadgar's bright smile, Anduin guesses that Khadgar has no desire to leave.

 

Anduin Lothar's touch lingers on his skin even as Anduin leaves the room to attend to some business with the king. Something holds him to the spot where Anduin kissed him, and Khadgar grins like an idiot at the memory. He never expected Anduin to come around to their arrangement, but now that he has, Khadgar allows himself to wonder where it might go. Does Anduin love him? Could he? What does love look like?

 _I want you to myself._ The words are so strange in his mind that Khadgar wonders if he dreamed them. It's Anduin telling him not to want anyone else, and it's Anduin wanting him despite their differences. He feels it even now, the way Anduin's grip held him close so that he wouldn't move away until Lothar was sure that he'd understood the message. There was no way he could have made it clearer, Khadgar thinks, unless, _unless..._

He doesn't indulge in that particular thought just yet. It's something he might welcome in time, being with Anduin in every sense, but just because Anduin kissed him doesn't mean that he'll go there. _One day, though,_ Khadgar thinks, _one day I'll grow on him just as I already have, and when that day comes, I'll be ready._

For now, Anduin wanting him was enough.


	18. At Odds

Khadgar grinned when he saw that Lothar was in their room, but the smile turned to a clenched jaw when he saw the nearly full bag on their bed. Lothar was _packing._

 _No, he can't be packing. He just told me that he wanted me..._ As reasonable as that was to Khadgar, he knew that Lothar was ruled by impulse, not reason, and the bag on the bed told a different story, one that Khadgar was sure he wouldn't like. He was torn between asking Lothar what he thought he was doing and simply leaving him to it. He settled on the bolder option.

“I was hoping to catch you, but you look busy,” he said.

“What, oh, this?” Lothar looked down at the bag as if noticing it for the first time. “Llane wants me to go north to Lordaeron. King Terenas has a son who's only a boy, and Llane would like to propose that their children meet so that they might be friends and future allies. He figures there's no time like the present. We've never had an alliance with Lordaeron, but they have never treated us with hostility.”

“Oh, fantastic. When are we leaving?”

Lothar grabs another pair of pants and stuffs them in the bag. “I'm going alone unless Llane orders otherwise. This is an important diplomatic opportunity, not a vacation.”

Khadgar rolled his eyes. “Do you know how many of Antonidas' meetings I eavesdropped, or how many Kirin Tor trade deals I sat through once I began to train to be the Guardian? It isn't a low number. In fact, I bet I could even make some helpful suggestions-”

“How is it that you find a way to stick your nose into absolutely everything without realizing that it's not your place to do so? Leave it be. I can do this on my own.”

“I was just trying to help you.”

“Help less. I'm leaving as soon as the gryphon is ready.” He patted Khadgar on the shoulder. “Keep out of trouble until I get back, yeah?”

A pat on the shoulder. _That is_ not _how you say goodbye to someone you want,_ Khadgar thought. Maybe Anduin didn't want him after all. Maybe what he really wanted was to be alone. The thought rattled Khadgar to the core, but if Lothar decided to leave him alone, he wouldn't waste his time grieving the loss.

 

 

“Take him with you,” Llane insisted. “He may have a point. You're a fine commander, but you've never done something like this. He can't do any harm.”

“He could do plenty. He probably doesn't even _want_ to go. He just hears that something is being done without him and decides to include himself. It's the most magelike quality I've seen, and I hate it. I'm not helpless.”

“No one is saying that you are. You're my oldest friend, and I want you to do this. Just take him with you. It will give you some time to re-assess where you are after this mess with Medivh. He tells me he wants to take Khadgar as an apprentice so that he can teach him whatever the Kirin Tor may have left out, but Taria tells me that may not be what you desire.”

Lothar clenched his fists at the mention of Medivh. “You're sending him just to fix my love life? That doesn't seem like a wise thing for a king to do.”

“When you're king, you can decide whether it's a wise thing to do. Until then, obey me.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”


	19. Lordaeron

He didn't know why he'd been so opposed to taking Khadgar with him. Anduin wanted to say that it was just common sense not to take him, but Llane thought otherwise, and Llane was rarely wrong. He wasn't afraid that Khadgar would ruin the negotiations, not truly, since Khadgar possessed a good deal of knowledge about everything he could possibly read about. Besides, even if he'd been taken away from his family as a young child, Khadgar boasted that his heritage was of Lordaeron, and that would mean a great deal more to their king than anything Lothar had to offer.

No, it wasn't the circumstances. It was Anduin.

Anduin Lothar, the Lion of Stormwind, who always felt the need to hold his men accountable for their actions, was afraid. It was shameful, but it was true. He looked at Khadgar and saw someone burning bright, someone whose future was sure to be recorded in the books that Khadgar read so eagerly, and not the Steamy Romance Novel sort. Lothar's glory was in the past, and in times of peace he was commander more out of tradition than need, he thought. The people of Stormwind loved him, but they had fond memories of him. It was different with a young man he wanted like this.

Khadgar didn't say a word during their gryphon ride. Lothar would have thought that he was asleep if not for the shallow breaths. _Fear of heights. Cute._ Khadgar might be upset with him, but Lothar could still feel his fists bunching the fabric of his tunic.

“How are you afraid of heights when demons don't make you tremble?”

“I can make it through the landing smoothly. I won't embarrass us in front of Lordaeron.”

“I know. I only wondered... Never mind. Just don't look down.”

It had been some time since he had seen Lordaeron, and the view from above was no less spectacular. A small party was waiting in the courtyard to meet them when they landed. Khadgar gripped Lothar's arm as he climbed off the gryphon, and as promised, he was able to shake the hand of the envoy without stumbling.

“I am Commander Anduin Lothar of Stormwind. This is Khadgar, Guardian of Azeroth and formerly of the Kirin Tor.”

King Terenas stepped forward to greet them. Khadgar bowed his head in reverence. “Welcome to Lordaeron. You will be afforded every luxury while you are here. Come, let us meet inside where no ears are listening.”

King Terenas didn't take his place on the throne, but instead motioned them to the seats around the circular room. Khadgar's eyes were wide like saucers as he took in the extravagance of the room around him. It was something Lothar decided he liked, the way that Khadgar lit up over the smallest things. Part of him feared that Terenas would be put off by the curious young man at his side, but Terenas smiled reassuringly.

“Our kingdoms may not be allies, but I consider Stormwind to be Lordaeron's chief supporter. For this reason, I hoped for a casual meeting between us. What is it you seek?”

“I come on behalf King Llane to ask you to consider an offer of friendship between us, so that your sons may meet and come together as princes for the mutual benefit of both of our kingdoms. Our hope is that in the future, we may form an alliance.”

“With all due respect, Lordaeron does not need allies. We value our independence. I thought that Stormwind understood that and thought similarly. Does Stormwind change its mind so easily?”

Lothar grimaced. He disagreed with the king's assessment, but it wasn't proper to argue with a king, especially a foreign king.

“May I speak?” Khadgar asked.

“Of course,” Terenas said.

“Before I was given to the Kirin Tor, I lived in Lordaeron. I still consider myself a citizen although it's been years since I've seen the city, even if I hardly remember it. I know that you pride yourself in all that you have built here, and I know that yours is a long-lasting dynasty which has a promising heir in Arthas. Similarly, Stormwind is a proud and independent nation. They have a large port which is ideal for trade, a military to be revered and a strong ruler. They have their own heir in Varian.

“Stormwind does not seek to interfere with what happens in Lordaeron. Our borders are separate enough to prevent any possible skirmishes in the future, but our closeness would allow for military support in times of need. Between us, we have an abundance of resources to trade. Varian and Arthas are close in age, and a friendship between them would allow for greater understanding between our cultures. They will grow to be strong men. It's a new age, and we are stronger if we come together. I ask you humbly to consider this before you make a decision.”

Terenas nodded. “You have an interesting perspective. How did you come to speak for Stormwind?”

“A political arrangement through the Kirin Tor led me to Stormwind. My time in Stormwind has given me the perspective to come to you.”

Lothar studied Khadgar. It wasn't the first time that he'd seen that Khadgar was brilliant, but this time he marveled at how easily he spoke to a king, especially one so revered as Terenas. He was relaxed, all fear from the gryphon ride forgotten.

It terrified him.

 

It terrified him, being back in Lordaeron, like nothing had ever terrified him before. He studied the familiar surroundings and felt small and scared again, like the child the Kirin Tor had taken away. It was ridiculous when he thought about it. Khadgar was a grown man and the Guardian of Azeroth, in charge of his own fate in every sense. Still, when he reached for the wooden knocker, his hands shook, and he was unable to rid himself of the uneasiness that consumed him.

The gray-haired man who answered the door looked just like him. His jaw dropped when he saw the young mage at the door.

“I would have written if I knew in advance that I was coming,” he said. “I hope this isn't a bad time. That is, I hope I'm not... unwelcome here.”

“You're always welcome here. Please come in.”

 

 

Khadgar was scarce during their time in Lordaeron, and Lothar couldn't help but wonder if part of it was his fault. He should have known that Khadgar was sensitive; he should have known that lashing out would do nothing but hurt him. Now Khadgar was being forced to hide away with a book somewhere while Lothar got all of the gifts and admiration from the citizens of Lordaeron.

His head was probably buried in a book somewhere, poor thing.

Their last night in Lordaeron was marked by a fireworks ceremony. As Lothar made his way to one of the royal balconies to spectate, he caught of glimpse of Khadgar outside. He was clad in deep blue robes that made him look older somehow. Lothar wanted to wrap his arms around him, but he couldn't when so much was left to figure out. As he approached the rail, Khadgar acknowledged him with a nod.

“I haven't seen you,” Lothar said. He hoped to sound more casual than he felt.

“I've been busy. Actually, there's something I need to talk to you about while we have a moment to ourselves.”

He nodded. “I'm listening.”

“After Terenas agreed to our offer, I had a job of my own to do. I didn't tell anyone, only Terenas, and only then to be sure that I was doing the right thing. I found what I was looking for, and it was everything I hoped for and more.” He stared at the night sky, but there was a faraway look in his eyes that Anduin didn't like.

“You weren't here to do whatever you wanted. You were here to do business with Terenas. I can't believe that you would just run off on your own without considering your duty!”

“Is that so? Well, I can't believe that I was gone for _five days_ and you didn't so much as ask anyone around me! Terenas showed more interest in my personal life than you did. Even now, when you accuse me of neglecting my duty, you don't bother to ask me where I was or if there was some trouble. The truth is that I'm considering staying here.”

“What?”

“It's close to the Council of Tirisfal, so I can easily conduct my business with them without making the rift between us more severe. It's closer to the center of everything, which means that I can better access all the kingdoms in times of trouble. We're even close to Dalaran here, and I could perform services as an archmage if I so choose. Besides, I have a family here. A real family. Not someone who...”

“Someone who what? Someone who holds you accountable?”

“Someone who says one thing one moment and then contradicts himself in the next moment. Someone who claims to respect me and then turns around to mock me. Someone inconsistent and uncertain. Magic is about order. I lack that order in my life. I will be sure to aid Stormwind when I am needed, and in that sense I will honor our agreement, but I think it would be better if you return to Stormwind and I stay here.”

Lothar felt heat rushing to his face. Khadgar was ready to move forward in his life, and he was ready to leave Lothar behind. He never thought that he would _care_ so much that someone was walking away from him, but he felt sick to his stomach. It's more than want that he's felt for all the days they've spent together, more than respect. More than he wants to admit, but he has to do _something_ now, either change or watch Khadgar slip away forever.

He grabs Khadgar's wrist as he starts to walk away. “No, you can't leave, you can't stay here. I couldn't live with myself if you did.”

“I can't control your conscience, Anduin. That problem is yours.”

“If I don't stop you, I'll live the rest of my life regretting it. I'm sorry for everything, for being an idiot, for all of it. I don't want you to go. I want you to come back to Stormwind with me, and I want to see if we can really make this work, and not because it's a contract.”

“Why, then?”

“It's more than just want, whatever this is that I feel for you. I can't lose you. You drive me crazy and I thought that if I ignored it, it wouldn't get under my skin, but it does and I can't let myself let you walk away.” He took Khadgar's hand in his own. “Won't you come back to Stormwind? You can always come back to Lordaeron. You know the spell.”

Khadgar studied him. “I found my family. It was the first time I've seen them since I was sent away, and you have no idea what that means. My father is old. This may be my last chance to see him in person before he gets sick. If I leave here, it has to be worth it.” There was a solemness in his eyes that rivaled Medivh's.

“I swear to you that it will be. As soon as we get back to Stormwind, I'll find a way to prove it to you.”

“Whatever you say, Anduin.” He stepped closer to Lothar. “I got you something, by the way. It was meant as a parting gift, but it could be something else.”

The bag he handed to Lothar was small. The blue silk felt fine in his hands. “You got me a bag?”

“Oh, for Light's sake, open it.”

It was a single ring made of gold with the Lordaeron crest carefully engraved. “A signet?”

“A _royal_ signet. It's not _the_ royal signet, of course, but it bears the seal of Lordaeron. It's a gift from Terenas to me to display his unwavering trust, and my gift to you.”

He pulled Khadgar into his arms and embraced him so tightly that he was sure to leave him breathless.


	20. Someone Who's Worth It

The light of fireworks lit up the night as Anduin and Khadgar looked on from the balcony. Khadgar was too aware of how very close Anduin’s body was to his, something that he was sure Anduin was doing on purpose. It was too rare that they spent a quiet moment together, and Khadgar wanted to cherish it. Anduin kissed him on the lips, and Khadgar didn’t protest despite his mind being in a thousand other places. There had been enough tension.

Anduin’s hands roamed Khadgar’s body as Lothar kissed him. It was an intoxicating feeling, but his heart beat wildly in his chest with something that couldn’t be further from joy. “What are you doing?” he asked.

“I just realized that we never consummated our marriage,” Lothar told him. His breath was hot on Khadgar’s face. He was too close, too eager. It was wrong. Everything about it was wrong.

Khadgar gripped his wrists. “We’re not doing this,” he says.

Lothar’s laughter tickled the skin of his neck. “Don’t tell me you’re afraid that somebody will see. It’s too dark.”

Did Lothar think that sex was such a certainty? It unsettled him to imagine that Lothar was so sure of himself. “I’m serious. I can’t, and nothing you say or do will change that, so just stop.” Tears welled in his eyes. “I won’t lose my virginity to just anyone. I want someone who’s worth it, someone I can count on my whole life, and Anduin, that just isn’t you right now.”

Anduin stepped away from him, and for a moment, Khadgar regretted saying a thing, because he _wanted_ Lothar to be near him and to _want_ him, but more than anything he needed Lothar to care about him. Permanently.

Lothar studied Khadgar. Something in his eyes was different, darker than it had been. He was angry, Khadgar thought, or he was hurt. There was nothing to be done about that. “I didn’t mean to upset you. You just need to understand.”

“I understand,” he said. “Is that it… for us?”

“I don’t know,” Khadgar admitted. “If you prove yourself to me, maybe we could get to a place where I would feel ready, but that won’t be soon. It takes time to build trust. You should know that.”

Anduin nodded. “I know. I should have known that you would need more than what I’ve given you. I haven’t been what I should have been to you. You deserve so much _more._ ” He took a shaky breath. “I can’t let you come back with me. You’ve never known your family, and this is your chance to be a part of it again. Stormwind will wait for you.” Anduin caressed Khadgar’s face.

“Anduin, I don’t know what to say...”

“Then say nothing. Just agree that you’ll do what’s right for you this once.”

“I will. Thank you, Lothar.”

Anduin wrapped an arm around him as they lay in the bed together. He rested against the familiar comfort of Lothar’s chest. It was right of Anduin to give him this chance, and it was what he wanted. He only hoped that Anduin wouldn’t forget about him the second he returned to his city full of admirers. It would be easy for a man like Anduin Lothar to forget someone who denied him. It would be easier for him to forget someone who never challenged him.

Khadgar drifted into a reluctant sleep, more confused than he’d ever been.

 

Lothar knew that he never showed it, but he cared about Khadgar. He was used to his company; he admired him despite his stranger qualities. He wanted Khadgar, and he wanted to know if it was possible for him to love him.

That was why he had to let him go.

It was before dawn when he crawled out of bed, taking care not to rouse Khadgar. His things were packed and his gryphon was rested, and Terenas had agreed to let him leave whenever he felt the time was right. He had to go before Khadgar woke. He didn’t know if he could say goodbye; he didn’t know if he could keep his resolve once he fully realized that he might never see his mage again.

Anduin Lothar was not a man who cried, but the emptiness was more than he could bear to feel as he watched Lordaeron fade into the distance behind him. He regretted leaving so soon, but more than that he regretted his earlier actions concerning Khadgar. Why was he so stubborn? Why couldn’t he let things go right for once? This was right, but it wasn’t _right_ , and he would be alone for it. Even if he drank until he could hardly stand and took some woman into his room, it wouldn’t fill something this heavy.

He would wait for Khadgar. He just hoped that Khadgar would do the same for him.

Llane congratulated Lothar on a successful negotiation, but Lothar hardly heard what he was saying. He needed to write Khadgar a letter so that he might explain why he left without saying goodbye. He needed to tell him that Medivh had made a mess in the library for so long. He would ask why mages, who said that they thrived on order, were so very unorganized, whether it was natural or something they taught in Dalaran.

He would write the letter. He would dwell on the little things because he couldn’t say anything that was worth saying. It was better that way for now, while they were to be apart. Khadgar would understand that he wasn’t forgotten this way.

 

_~~Guardian~~ Khadgar,_

_Llane was pleased that the negotiation went so well. He hopes to send a representative in the coming months to discuss where and when the summit might take place. I imagine he will send me ~~like always~~. Would you believe that when I came home, Medivh had scattered old books and scrolls across the library and made such a great mess that Llane himself ordered him to clean it up using whatever means necessary? Mages. There was a tavern brawl in Oldtown today, but it was less than nothing._

_Word is that Llane is searching for a fitting gift for Terenas. If you know what he likes, it would be advantageous for us to present a thoughtful and functional gift._

_From Stormwind,_

_Anduin Lothar_

 

 

He sealed it with melted wax stamped with the Lordaeron seal and left the delivery to Medivh. Mages did have their uses after all, it seemed.


	21. The Father and the Son

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Khadgar has a chance to interact with his father for the first time.

When Khadgar woke up, he was alone. He should have been used to being alone – his time studying with the Kirin Tor had meant years of isolation – but the loneliness he felt along in the oversized bed was overwhelming. It wasn’t just Anduin Lothar; it was being in Lordaeron again with no one that he truly knew. This could have been his home, but it was not, and he was more aware of that with every moment that passed. He hoped that time with his family would change that.

His father met him in the city square. Khadgar marveled at how similar they looked; it was like a mirror image of Khadgar, only taller, with graying hair and laugh lines and a sun tan.

“You’re really here,” Khadgar said. It still seemed inconceivable that he could be in Lordaeron with his father as if the years apart were nothing.

“I’m here. I thought we might just walk around Lordaeron, stop at some of the shops that look interesting.”

“I’d like that.”

Khadgar did his best to look for things that would be of use to him, but he didn’t care about buying wares for himself. He watched as his father tried on a fine leather jacket that was a size too small. “Silk wears out so easily,” he said, and Khadgar couldn’t disagree. There were other things that caught his eye, tools and racks of meat and leather shoes. Khadgar stopped to eye the selection of books that one of the street vendors had.

“You’re a reader, are you?”

Khadgar ran his finger along the spine of _A Treatise on the Creation of Water Elementals_ – his copy of this one was falling apart – and smiled at his father. “I had to be for a time, but yes, I love books. I have enough to fill a trunk back in Stormwind. Do you… I mean, can you read?”

“Sure I can read. I just choose not to.”

“I suppose you don’t have much of a reason to. In Dalaran-” he stops himself from going on. “Is it okay for me to talk about it? I know that they were what separated us, but for a long time, the Kirin Tor was all I knew. I just don’t want to offend you.”

“Takes more than that to offend me,” he mumbled.

Khadgar felt his heart beating wildly in his chest despite his father’s reassurance. _What was I thinking to bring up Dalaran when he’s making an effort? I could ruin everything._ “I got married recently,” he said. “It was arranged.”

“Do you like her? What’s she like?”

“ _He._ They stuck me with the Lord Commander of the Stormwind Infantry. I really don’t know if I like him. One moment I think that he respects me and that we might be on the way to having something real, but then he goes and says something stupid or does something that tells me that he only cares about himself. He’s so strong-willed and infinitely frustrating. I came here with him, and I found you without him knowing. He told me to stay.”

“That’s a match, isn’t it, you and some commander? I didn’t think Stormwind liked magic.”

Khadgar shrugged. “They don’t, but they wanted protection against potential threats and I was the mage they sent. I shouldn’t have told you. I don’t know why I did.”

“Because you want me to know you.” The old man grinned. “I will, in time. I’m sure that you’re a good kid – a good _man_ now, I guess. Really, it’s great that the Kirin Tor didn’t turn you into some twisted magic-user who thinks he’s too good for the rest of us. I can’t stand them when they come to town, showing their faces after they pluck children out of their family’s hands. Disgusting.”

They were back to the Kirin Tor. It was regrettable that all conversations led back to Dalaran. Khadgar took a deep breath. “I didn’t want to go into it because I didn’t want to cause you any pain, but the Kirin Tor made me who I am. They shouldn’t have forced you to take me, but without control over what I have, I would have ruined your lives here.”

“You _did_. You didn’t mean to but you did. Every day we wondered...” He shook his head. “It isn’t something we talk about. I don’t want to talk about it. You’re here, and you’re welcome here as long as you want to be a part of our family. That is why you’re here, isn’t it?”

“Of course it is!” Khadgar took a step toward his father. “I didn’t mean for you to be hurt. I really didn’t. That’s not why I’ve come, to reopen old wounds.”

“Did you remember us, your mother and me? Did they take you so young that your memories faded, or do you know what we were before they came?”

“I remember a little,” he admitted. “I remember that you would always take me on your horse and give me a ride all through Tirisfal Glades even though my mother _hated_ it, and that we would always settle for dinner just before dark. I remember that you never asked anyone for anything, but you begged Antonidas not to take me away, and I remember crying and crying and begging you not to let them, and when they did I couldn’t sleep for days, knowing that I might never see you again. I was so sure I would never see you again, and now you’re here and it feels like it can’t go right because everything we say goes back to them. I’m so sorry for that and I wish I could change it.”

“But you can’t,” his father said. “It’s not your place to change the past. You can’t. Don’t try so hard or you’ll wear yourself out before I even buy you this stupid book that I’ll never read a page of.”

Khadgar laughed when he felt like sobbing. “You might be more impressed by it if you see me use the information inside. My water magic is strong. Actually, _all_ my magic is strong. I’m kind of a big deal now. I hoped you would be proud if you ever knew that, even if you hate mages.”

He slapped Khadgar on the back. “Not all mages, just the rest of them. Come on, I’ve had enough of this public love confession. You can show me your magic tricks later.”

Khadgar walked home with his father, feeling for the first time in a long while that he belonged somewhere.


	22. Five Unbearably Long Days

He just didn’t understand it. Surely something was wrong, so wrong that he should be on a gryphon halfway to Lordaeron by the end of the hour. It had to be that. Khadgar had to be dead or dying, otherwise it was just so inconceivably _rude_.

Five days. Five _unbearably_ long days since he’d heard a word from Khadgar. He spent the long daytime hours training harder than he’d trained in a decade, pressing his men harder with each sparring match and losing his patience more with each minor infraction. Each day he came back and checked his desk, his mattress, even under his pillow for some sign of a letter, but each day he found nothing.

This was a dark hour for Stormwind indeed.

He burst through Medivh’s chambers at he didn’t know what hour of the night. The mage was still awake, playing with some strange metal instrument that looked like an odd mix between a spider and an astrolabe. Leave it to Medivh to find the strangest device in the castle to experiment with.

“Did you forget to send my letter?” he demanded.

Medivh didn’t take his eyes off his new toy. “I sent it as soon as you asked me to despite the half dozen personal royal couriers who would have done it just as effectively.”

“And you’re sure that your spell didn’t fail?”

“In all the years that you’ve known me, I cannot think of a single instance when my spells didn’t work as I intended. What makes you think that it failed?”

He shrugged. “I haven’t received any reply from Khadgar.”

“Then he used a courier. It would make a fine example for you.” He gave Lothar _the look_ that made him feel so incredibly foolish about the whole situation.

He sulked in silence at the dinner table so much that even Llane noticed his change in mood. “Has something happened, Lothar?”

“Do you have word about the peace summit that you would like me to deliver to Terenas?” he asked.

“Not yet.”

“Then perhaps you should send word that your decision is delayed?” he suggested. “It must be horrible for him to receive a suggestion from you only to receive no further word when your representative leaves.”

“When I make a decision, Terenas will be the first to know.”

Lothar raised his eyebrows. “Not the second? You mean to deliver the message yourself?”

“For Light’s sake, Lothar, if you feel the need to return to Lordaeron, go. You’re little use to me when you’re acting like this. Maybe Terenas can find a place for you in his court until you stop pining after Khadgar.”

“I’m not _pining_. I was the one who told him to stay in Lordaeron. It’s better here without him.”

“Then why are you acting so lost?”

He stood and pushed his chair in. “I don’t have to hear this.”

Being alone in his room was worse still. He buried his head in Khadgar’s pillow and swore that he could still _feel_ him there somehow, probably due to the faint hint of soapy scent that lingered. He felt the beginnings of tears form in his eyes and tried to blink them back. He _missed_ the stupid kid. He wanted to hear him ramble about magic, or stumble his way through the keep so that Lothar could help him find his way back to his room. He wanted to kiss him again, but this time he wanted it to be different. Of course he couldn’t have those things while Khadgar was away. Of course he’d want them more when he was gone.

He picked up a Steamy Romance Novel from the stack of books that Khadgar left behind. Maybe he could find something in there that would help him set things wrong… or at least get his mind off of Khadgar. Under the book was a single letter, sealed with an unstamped bit of wax.

 

_Anduin,_

_I don’t have much time to write to you, so I’ll make it quick. I’m spending a lot of time with my family, as I told you I would. Terenas will like what a typical king would, but I hear that he’s particularly fond of gifts for Prince Arthas. Arthas wants a horse more than anything, I’m told._

_My regards to Stormwind,_

_Khadgar._

 

 

 _“My regards to Stormwind”_? That was without a doubt the most formal thing he’d seen in a personal letter. He was losing Khadgar, really losing him this time, and it felt like someone was ripping his heart out. He slammed the book back on the desk. He would fix this. He would write a _proper_ letter, and Khadgar would _have_ to write him back because courtesy dictated it, and he would be so moved by what Anduin sent him that he would feel the need to write a real letter this time.

 

_Khadgar,_

_Thank you for your advice on Terenas. You said you were spending time with your family. How is that going for you? What are they like, your family? Brilliant, I imagine. Taria and I never got the chance to know our parents well. Our father was killed in a rebellion when we were very young, and our mother left us largely in the care of our tutors. Your family must be warm to invite you in after so many years have passed._

_Stormwind is different without you here, and though you are with your family, your absence feels strange and unsettling to me. I thought that I might throw myself into work to escape it, but it’s still here. One day when Llane permits it, after you’ve had time to spend with your family, I hope to come see you if you would allow me the honor. I know that we left things in a strange place, but it is my intention to see them through._

_I hope that your visit with your family is everything you need it to be. Medivh is still willing to act as your master if ever you return; I suspect he is bored out of his mind here in the Keep, yet he dares not enter Karazhan again until we are certain that those creatures are extinct. He will continue delivering my letters to you despite swearing that he is not a courier._

_In earnest,_

_Anduin Lothar._


	23. That Makes You Theirs Forever

Khadgar’s father was all he had hoped for as a boy and more. He remembered idolizing his father in his youth, wishing that he could see him again if only to ask him how he was able to be so very strong all the time, but now that Khadgar was a man, his admiration for his father was all the greater. His father seemed just as thrilled to see him, and most of their spare moments were spent together, sometimes speaking and sometimes enjoying the silent reassurance of company.

His brother was not so accepting.

John never said anything that gave him reason to believe that he wasn’t welcome; in fact, he didn’t say a word to Khadgar at all. His silence was not the easy silence of Khadgar’s father, but a stony silence that made Khadgar feel shut out. He was sure that it was intentional. The way that John looked at him when he was with their father only confirmed his suspicions.

Three unbearable days passed without John saying a word to him. Khadgar didn’t understand it. Was his brother angry at him, or was he afraid that getting attached to Khadgar would lead to pain? Khadgar wasn’t sure, but he intended to find out. He had the opportunity on the fifth morning, when at last their father left to conclude a sale, leaving the two of them alone in the stables.

“I know that we haven’t spoken yet, John, but I was hoping for a chance-”

“Save your energy. I’m not interested in whatever it is you’re offering.”

Khadgar was taken aback. “I’m not offering anything. All I want is to get to know all of you again. I don’t understand why you’re reluctant, but I would like for you to tell me so that we might get past it.”

“Why, so that you can cast a spell on me and make me change my mind? I’m sure that’s what you did to Father. He’s never trusted mages, but now that you’re here, he doessn’t care what your kind has done. He isn’t thinking right.”

“ _My kind?_ I can’t say that I understand.”

“Your kind, the Kirin Tor! He may believe you when you say that you only came to make amends, but I know the truth. They took you when you were young, so young. They probably brain-washed you to think like they do. They taught you their magic, after all, and why would they trust you with something like that if you weren’t one of them? I saw their mark on your arm. That makes you theirs forever.”

“No, it wasn’t like that. I-” He sighed. “They did the right thing to take me in, even if they did it in the worst way. The tattoo is meant to mark the members of the Kirin Tor, it’s true, and I was a member, but I left. I was called to a greater, more neutral position. If they hadn’t made me leave to take the responsibility, I would have run away, even with nowhere to go and no one to turn to. It was so lonely. The Kirin Tor doesn’t give you _friends_. I swear to you that I would never turn my magic against you.”

“I don’t believe you.”

He sputtered to think of a better defense. “I would rather die than harm you! We were close once, and we could be close again. After all this time, I still love you. You’re my _family._ ”

“The Kirin Tor became your family the second they took you away from us. Go see them. Leave us alone if you know what’s good for you, if you ever had any love for our poor father.”

“Don’t you use my name in your petty arguments, John.”

Khadgar nearly fainted when his father stepped into the stables. When he looked at the boys, there was anger in his eyes. Khadgar wanted to shrink away from his father’s wrath forever, but he could not move. John was the one to respond. “Don’t you see what he’s done to you, Father? You would trust him in our home when we know nothing about him!”

“I know that he is my son,” his father said, “and I know that you will respect my decision or find a new place to rest your head. Do not let your fear and jealousy take over you.”

“How am I to know whether he means me harm? You said that these mages are crafty. He could lie to us a thousand times and we wouldn’t be able to tell.”

Khadgar shook his head. “For all my skill in the various schools of magic, I’m actually a terrible liar. Some of my teachers made fun of me for it, said that it was lucky that my magic would protect me if I wasn’t cunning enough to protect myself.”

“Another lie from the city of lies.”

“I cannot make you believe me, but I implore you to at least consider the possibility that I could be telling the truth. You will see that I have nothing else to gain from coming here. I have gold, I have a powerful position, I have a home in Stormwind and a room in King Terenas’ guest chambers if I so wish it, but I chose to come and find you rather than burdening him with my extended stay.”

John’s eyes narrowed. “Why would you do that? Why seek us out when you have the company of kings?”

“Because they mean little to me, and you mean everything. I needed to know you. I still need to know you.”

John had no response, but the way his shoulders sagged told Khadgar that he no longer had the will to argue with him. John brushed past their father and left the two of them alone in awkward silence.

“I’m sorry,” Khadgar said. “I never wanted to cause tension between you.”

“Of course you didn’t. Don’t be ridiculous.” He eyed Khadgar warily. “You going to be alright?”

“Sure. I just need some time to myself, if that’s okay.” Khadgar paused at the doorway. “Don’t be too angry at John. He’s been your only son for years, and he cares for you. It’s natural to be protective, I imagine.”

Khadgar wandered into the forest, desperate to get away from where John’s eyes or his father’s eyes could see him. When at last he was alone in the edge of the forest, he wept for the first time since he was a boy, wept until his eyes burned and he was struggling to breath and his stomach felt sick. When at last he was able to compose himself, he saw something new lying in his lap, a single plain letter.

 _Lothar._ He opened the letter, unease creeping in. When the read the letter, it made him relieved. Lothar cared enough to ask him about his well-being, and he had gone so far as to open up about his own family. He resolved to return to his room to write Lothar back.

 

_Anduin,_

_You never told me that your father died when you were young. I never realized. What was he like, your father? My father has readily accepted me. He is not so openly sentimental as I am, but he cares for me and has gone out of his way to ensure my comfort. My mother and younger sister are away visiting my eldest sister, but Father assures me that they will be home soon. I can’t even imagine what life will be like when they get here. Father has exceeded my expectations._

_The most horrible thing happened today, and I would not trouble you with it if I had anyone else to tell. My older brother does not trust me. He believes that I am somehow deceiving him and that my loyalty is to the Kirin Tor. I tried to tell him that this is nonsense, but old prejudices run deep and I fear that he may never accept me. No one has made me feel so out of place except for perhaps you._

_If you ever venture to Lordaeron, I would of course welcome your visits. Perhaps your confidence will make me feel bolder as it has in the past. I never thought you would miss my presence in Stormwind. It relieves me._

_~~Light Be With You,~~_

_~~Yours,~~_

_My regards,_

_Khadgar_


	24. Waiting and Waiting For You

His sister was brilliant, and not in the way that Kirin Tor mages were taught to be. When she greeted him, she seemed to know that he needed the reassurance of a sibling who welcomed him, and so she smiled at him and offered to show him her growing china collection. Khadgar readily agreed and allowed himself to be dragged to her room. She showed him her favorites (all of them), most of which were from Lordaeron.

“I want to get some from other places,” she said, “but I never get to travel.”

“I could bring you something from Stormwind if you tell me what you like,” he offered. “I would take you with me if you're allowed.”

She smiled. “I'm not allowed to take long journeys.”

“I can teleport us. It's practically instant, and it's safe. I would have traveled to Lordaeron that way if the commander hadn't _insisted_ on taking a gryphon.”

“Could you... I mean, would you... Could I see your magic?”

She didn't look at him like his father did, eyes filled with sadness that wrestled with relief, nor the way that John looked _through_ him. Her eyes sparkled with admiration, and Khadgar couldn't say no to that, not the sister who was so nice to him when they were meeting for the first time since he was a child.

“Stay where you are. I'll show you something I learned when I was still a student in Dalaran. They said I did it very well.” The familiarity of spellwork put him more at ease, and he tuned out the world around him to focus on the spell itself. He felt the magical energy being drawn through his body as he extended his hands and said the words that gave him the power. The air moistened around him, and he smiled at the sight of a hulking water elemental. “Touch it,” he told his sister.

She outstretched a curious hand to caress the creature. It made a strange muffled sound upon contact, and she giggled. It was nice to hear someone laugh. “It came from nothing! That's amazing! How do you do it? What else can you do?”

“I don't know if I can explain how I do it. I manipulate the energy in the air and combine the water and air vapors to create an elemental. A strong one can do basic tasks and even fight. As for what I can do,” He waved his hand and the elemental was reduced to nothing. “There are a lot of things. I don't know where to begin. Maybe if you tell me what you wonder about, I can tell you if I'm able to do it.”

“Can you make whatever food you want?”

“Usually.”

“Can you travel anywhere you want to go?”

“Of course.”

“Can you make someone fall in love?”

Khadgar blushed. “Magic doesn't work that way. I mean I could make someone, um, be attracted to me, but love isn't something you really try to manipulate magically.”

“John told me that the mages who took you could probably be anything. He had nightmares about them for years. He couldn't sleep alone in the room anymore.”

“That explains why he doesn't want me here.”

She shook her head. “He wants you here. He has to. It's all he ever thought about was finding you. He wanted to become a knight for years so that he could save you, but when he couldn't, he wrote to Dalaran again and again asking what they did for you.”

“What? He told me he didn't trust me. He made that so clear.”

“Maybe he doesn't know how to act. We never expected to see you again.” She smiled at him. “You should talk to him. Go for a walk or something.”

“And if he won't go for a walk with me?”

“He will.”

 

 

It was frightening to him, being alone with John. Khadgar vaguely remembered a time when his brother had been his best friend, when they had done everything together. Khadgar had never been particularly adventurous, but he _had_ been curious, and with John at his side, he had been able to put aside his nervousness to have adventures with his brother. It was different now. He could feel John's eyes on him, but he didn't dare question him for fear of their uneasy peace coming to an end.

“What did you want?”

Khadgar glanced at John. “Alys told me some things about you,” he said. “I don't know what to believe, the things she told me or the things you said to me. I'd like to know the truth.”

“I didn't want to talk to you then. What makes you think now is different?”

“You spent years trying to find someone that you want nothing to do with? That must have been something for you, to realize that you wasted all that time. I can imagine that being confronted with that has made you angry-”

“Do you ever stop talking?”

“Not really, no. Maybe if you spoke to me, I wouldn't have to talk.”

“What do you want me to say? So I spent years _waiting_ and _waiting_ for you, wondering whether you were dead or alive. So I thought about it every day of my life and it kept eating at me and nothing I could do made it go away. So _what_ if you're here now and you're fine, and you never bothered to try to find us again until now when you weren't their slave? You could have written; you could have sent me a _sign_ , something, so that we didn't think that they had you locked in some cage somewhere!”

“That's why you're angry. I wish I had, but the Kirin Tor told me not to, and until very recently I _was_ under their control as their student. They were very strict. By the time I was free, I was grown, and I didn't know if you would want anything to do with me, or if you could even _read_ my letters if I were to write them. That doesn't make up for the time we've lost, but if there's anything that would...”

“I was finally accepting that I might never see you again, but now you're here. I don't know what to do about that.”

“You have time,” Khadgar said. “You have all the time in the world.”

 

 

The letter from Anduin Lothar was waiting for him when he went to bed. It was like a Winter's Veil gift, seeing that Anduin had taken time so quickly to respond to him. Maybe Anduin _did_ care about him after all.

 

_Khadgar,_

_You asked about my father. In truth, I barely remember him. He was like me, hard-working and very focused on doing his duty to Stormwind. There are a few moments between us that I can remember, but more often than not he was training men or fighting wars. Taria and I came to largely depend on each other. I will tell you more about it when I see you face to face.  Waiting and waiting to see you has been harder than I thought.  It's been close to a month - too long._

_I wish I could tell you that your brother will come to accept you, but some people never will. I can tell you that your family is lucky to have you near. I hope that all goes well. Either way, you have a place in Stormwind with me. Life here is uneventful without you, and I scarcely know what to do with myself while you're gone. I want to see you soon._

_Llane assures me that he will have word for Terenas by the week's end. Would you allow me to see you? I have something for you._

_Anduin_

 

 

Khadgar smiled and wrote _By all means come and see me_ on a spare slip of paper. He hoped that Lothar was half as excited as he was.


	25. Keep Your Cloak Close

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anduin pays Khadgar a visit.

Anduin spent the days before his visit planning what he would do with Khadgar, knowing that it could be his last chance to show the man that he was serious about making an effort. He pestered Taria _relentlessly_ with the persistance that only a man used to commanding would have until she suggested a suitable gift for Khadgar. Then he poured over maps of the Lordaeron region, contemplating what he could possibly do that would be exciting for Khadgar that would also be exciting for him. Anduin had never put so much effort into going on a date, but he was sure that it would be worth it if Khadgar was truly impressed by his efforts. And he needed Khadgar to be impressed, badly.

He dressed in his best clothes, Stormwind leather and a fine silk shirt, and grabbed the bag he planned to take to Lordaeron. He considered taking a gryphon, but Medivh insisted on teleporting him – better, he said, to use reliable magic to time his arrival right. When he arrived in Lordaeron, he was reeling from the strange method of travel, but when he saw Khadgar across the courtyard from him, he couldn’t help but smile.

The sun was shining on his dark hair, and he was dressed in simple clothes, just the same as when Lothar had seen him last. He wasn’t different from before, but absence had made Lothar appreciate just how handsome he was. He reached out to embrace Khadgar, but stopped short. _Not like last time,_ he told himself. _Slow down._

Khadgar smiled at him. “You’re here! I didn’t see any sign of a gryphon, and I thought you changed your mind.”

“Never,” Lothar said.

“I’m glad to see you,” he said, and Lothar knows that he meant it. “What are we doing today?”

“I brought gifts for you,” he said. He reached for the bag. “I didn’t have time to wrap them. I hope you don’t mind.” He handed Khadgar the bag that held the first gift. His fingers brushed against Khadgar, and Lothar felt a familiar nervousness course through him.

“Chocolate? This must have cost a fortune. Did you buy this for me?”

Lothar shrugged. “I knew you liked sweet things. It’s true that it’s a luxury, but my sister is the queen of Stormwind. It was easy enough to come by. This next gift was something more difficult for me to choose.”

He took the bundle out of his bag and passed it to Khadgar. The man knew the cloth upon first glance, and his eyes lit up in excitement the way that made Lothar like him all the more. “My cloak! This is my favorite. I didn’t… Thank you. So much.”

Lothar was pleased to have done something right for a change. “Come on, I have more planned for us. Can you swim?”

Khadgar shook his head. “I never learned.”

“Come on, then. You shouldn’t be so old without learning to swim. Even mages drown.”

 

 

Khadgar felt like a fool bobbing in the lake in a pair of too-large shorts, gripping Lothar’s arm like his life depending on it (and to him, it did). It wasn’t just the fear of drowning that alarmed him: it was that his feet could get tangled in seaweed or his angles grabbed by murlocs, and Anduin Lothar didn’t _understand_ how real and valid these absolutely logical fears were. Anduin had a strong grip on his side, and Khadgar had casted a spell that would prevent him from drowning, but it was still terrifying.

“Kick your legs,” Anduin told him.

Khadgar kicked wildly. It felt silly, kicking like this, and he was sure that his legs would get sore in no time at all, but still he kicked.

“No, not like that. Slower. Put some force behind it. Like that, yes. Now when you move your arms, do it slowly too. No panicked splashing. Now I’m going to swim over there where you can’t touch the bottom, and I want you to make your way to me. Pace yourself.”

Lothar moved toward the middle of the lake into the near-black water. Khadgar took a shaky breath. “I’m afraid. If I do it wrong, the spell might fail and I could drown.”

“I won’t let you drown,” Lothar said. “Trust me, I won’t.”

Khadgar readied himself and kicked off the bottom of the lake. He floundered at first, but he reminded himself of what Lothar told him. _Slower. I won’t let you drown._ If anyone could keep him safe, Anduin could. He focused on one stroke and then the next, and before he knew it he was at Anduin’s side, and Anduin was pulling him to his side and pulling his weight. The feel of Anduin’s hand against his bare side sent Khadgar reeling. He’d forgotten how _warm_ those rough hands felt, and how very large those hands were. When they were in safe water, Anduin’s hand lingered on him just a moment longer than needed, but moments less than what Khadgar wanted.

“You did well,” he said. “Are you ready to try again?”

Khadgar nodded. He would have done anything to impress Anduin, to show him what a quick learner he could be. Lothar wasn’t the Kirin Tor; he spoke with patience. Anduin was used to correcting his men, Khadgar reminded himself, and this wasn’t so different. Besides, he wanted to feel Lothar’s fleeting touch again even though he knew it couldn’t lead to anything.

It was one of the best afternoons he’d ever had.

 

While Khadgar spelled himself into his normal clothes, Lothar stayed on the shore of Lordamere Lake and set up the picnic he’d packed for them. He hoped that Khadgar would like the foods that he’d chosen. Taria had helped him select the food: Elwynn lamb, peacebloom salad, honeymint tea and special cream tarts that she had specially made. He knew that Khadgar liked teas of all kinds, but he’d never paid attention to what the man ate.

Khadgar looked confused when he saw the picnic spread, and Lothar gave him his best welcoming smile. Khadgar sat facing him.

“I promised I would tell you about my father and the few memories I have with him. He taught me to ride horses. One of our tutors taught Taria, but he took me out to ride day after day in the hope that I would become some great rider. I think the future he saw for me was the one he saw for himself. He wanted me to have some high-ranking position in Stormwind’s army like he did. I think it was all he really had.”

“He had you,” Khadgar said.

“He did,” Lothar agreed, “but I don’t think he knew what to do with us. But what about your family? Has your brother come around?”

Khadgar brightened at the mention of his family. “My younger sister Alys has spent every day with me since she returned. She’s fascinated by magic. I don’t think she wants to learn to do it, but seeing it always makes her smile. John is still getting used to the idea of me being back, but he doesn’t hate me like I thought he did. I have hope for us to be a real family one day.”

“I’m relieved to hear that.”

Lothar took Khadgar’s hand in his own. He wasn’t sure it was a good idea, or sure that Khadgar would want him to touch him, but it was worth the risk. Khadgar’s hand was warm and unexpectedly soft in his. When Khadgar looked up at him through his dark lashes, his eyes were curious. “Why are you being so nice?”

“Because I missed you.”

“You really missed me?”

“I really missed you.”

Khadgar grinned. “I missed you too.”

That smile was the best thing Lothar had ever seen. He wanted to kiss Khadgar. He knew that the moment was right, but he remembered the last times they had kissed and the awkwardness that had followed. He couldn’t bear to ruin things with Khadgar. Not now.

“This has been a perfect day, Anduin. I didn’t think I could have a day like this with you.”

Khadgar was close to him, so close that he could see faint hints of green in those brown eyes, and so close that Khadgar’s breath warmed his skin. He stroked Khadgar’s hand with his thumb. Khadgar learned forward and kissed him.

It was a small kiss, so quick that Lothar wondered if he had imagined it. He pulled Khadgar close to him and kissed him again, marvelling at how soft and full the other man’s lips were. He released him long before he was ready for the moment to end because he knew that he had to be cautious with Khadgar. The smile on Khadgar’s face when he pulled away was enough to tell him that he’d done something right.

“I should go soon,” Lothar said.

“I wish you didn’t have to.”

“So do I, but Stormwind is my home. I’ll come to visit again soon, I promise you. Will you write me until then?”

Khadgar nodded.

It was the hardest thing for him to do, watch Khadgar cast the teleportation spell after the time they’d spent together. Some part of him wanted to say that Stormwind could wait another day or two or three, but Khadgar had a family here, and he’d left Khadgar so that he could find his place with his family. It wasn’t what Anduin wanted, but as Lordamere Lake became Stormwind Keep, he couldn’t find it in him to regret the way he’d left things. Khadgar could be his one day.

 

_Khadgar,_

_I understand that no time has passed since I came to visit you, but already I find that something is missing. I am sure that it could only be you. I hope to hear more about your time with your family, but know that I am here waiting for you, and I shall wait for you until you are ready to come back to Stormwind. Keep your cloak close._

_Thinking of you always,_

_Anduin_


	26. If It's Good Enough For Gilneas...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lothar gets some unexpected company, and they talk romance.

He couldn’t stop thinking about Khadgar. He’d been sure that seeing Khadgar would dull the desire to have him near at least for a little while, but the opposite had happened: after a perfect day spent with Khadgar, he couldn’t stand going back to his life in Stormwind. His men must have sensed his displeasure, for they worked harder than they had before he left, taking care to heed his criticisms (there were few) and to give him space when the disappointment overwhelmed him (too often).

He loved his men, but he would have been better off without them.

One afternoon as he pondered what to do until dinner, a familiar young man with sandy hair and his blue eyes walked up and slapped him on the back. Callan. He’d never been so relieved to see his son. The year he’d spent in Gilneas had changed him from a boy to a man. He was taller now, and his baby fat had turned to lean muscle. He even had a beard like Anduin’s. Many traces of his mother were gone, but Anduin thought it fitting. His boy was handsome.

“I didn’t expect you back for a month,” Lothar said, hoping to keep the relief out of his voice. “Who sent you home early?”

“He thinks I’ve learned enough come home and serve. He said I was a fast learner; I told him I took after you.” His son smiled at him. 

“If it’s good enough for Gilneas, it’s good enough for me for now. We’ll see what you’ve got in the morning. Come have a drink with me.”

They stopped at a tavern in Oldtown. Usually Lothar downed his ale, but he took the time to ask Callan about his year, about the things he’d seen and the people he’d met, and he found that he wasn’t thirsty for it. Callan beamed as he recounted it all to his father. Lothar didn’t remember seeing Callan so happy. Maybe he had missed Stormwind.

“Genn told me that he would like to spar with you in Gilneas sometime,” Callan said. “He’s stuck with the same group of men all the time, and his army isn’t nearly as large as Stormwind.”

“He’s that bored, is he?”

“His forces are small, and it’s not kingly for him to fight his men regularly when they have a commander of their own. Terenas isn’t interested in sparring, and King Llane is so busy. You’re the Lion of Stormwind, legendary fighter and hero to our kingdom. Of course he wants to fight you.”

“I’ll consider it,” he conceded. “Your training with him must have gone well.”

“He told me to write him any time. I’m glad that you sent me. I heard that you got married while I was away.”

Anduin nearly choked on his ale. “Llane pushed it on me. It’s a political arrangement.”

“So I’ve heard. Where is he, then? I want to meet him, see how bad you have it.”

Lothar sighed. “He’s in Lordaeron with his family. He’s not so bad, really… I actually liked having him here, but now that I’ve sent him out, I can’t pull him back in. Now I’m stuck here without him, wondering when I’ll receive a letter.”

“You’re interested in him.”

“What?”

He smirked. “Aunt Taria wrote and told me everything. You really have no idea how to have a relationship, do you? I thought that you would remember after you were so happy with my mother-”

“Your mother was a woman and I didn’t marry her for politics,” Anduin said. “This is different.”

“How is it different? What could possibly be different other than that?”

“Well for one, he’s your age.”

“And?”

“ _And,_ ” Anduin said, “I can barely tell what my own son wants. How am I supposed to know what someone else wants from me?”

Callan shrugged. “The same way you would know with anyone else, I suppose. Ask him. Pay attention to thinks that he likes. Those aren’t things that you’re good at, but I’m sure that you could learn. It’s not hard to be attentive if you care.”

“I don’t _understand_ the things he cares about. He’s a mage. I don’t even understand how magic works, let alone know how to support that. I’m not Medivh.”

“Then ask Medivh and stop making excuses! Is it my mother? Is that what’s wrong with you?”

He didn’t want to think of Cally. He was long past the point when the sound of her name would cause him pain, but there was still a barrier that he wasn’t ready to cross, even with his own son. “No. It’s been years. I just never had to work at something like this. I never had to wonder what someone else thought of me. It’s strange.”

“That’s how normal people feel.”

Anduin rolled his eyes. “What’s got you so interested in my love life? You didn’t fall in love with Greymane while you were gone, did you?”

“That’s _disgusting_.”

They laughed and laughed until Anduin’s sides hurt. He didn’t know why it was so funny, only the thoroughly appalled look on Anduin’s face made him laugh all the harder. He loved Callan as all fathers loved there sons, but Anduin wasn’t sure that he’d ever _liked_ Callan before, but seeing him in Stormwind made Anduin realize what a great son he had and how, just like with Khadgar, he had failed too many times over the years.

“Do you think I should have been nicer to you when you were young?”

“You’re the Lion of Stormwind. You’re noble and loyal. You didn’t need to be nice to teach me to survive.”

“I mean to say more loving. Should I have been more loving? Did you feel unloved when you were young?”

“Is all of this coming from your marriage?”

“No. Yes. I don’t know.” He buried his face in his hands. He didn’t drink enough liquor to be drunk, but he was fumbling over his words like a sentimental drunk man all the same. “It’s just that you never wrote me while you were gone. We’ve never been close. I just wondered if it was something I did.”

“You always said that letters were a waste of time unless they were formal missives,” Callan reminded him. “Although… I hear from Aunt Taria that you might have changed your mind about that too. Have you been writing this mage love letters, Father?”

“Watch your mouth.”

“So you are.”

“We’re late to dinner with your aunt and uncle.”

Callan grinned. “Change the subject all you want. I think it’s sweet, what you’re doing. Of course, it would be sweeter if you would do something other than sit here and wait for him to write to you, but you have time. Not much of it, but you have time.”

He scowled, but part of him was pleased that Callan thought it was sweet. Maybe that meant that Khadgar would think it was sweet too. Khadgar seemed to be fond of sentimental gestures. _Maybe I can learn to be attentive, just like Callan said. That can’t be hard, all the more that I see him._

 

_Anduin,_

_I cannot overstate how much your visit meant to me. If I am being honest, I expected a disaster that I was not prepared for, but what you gave me was the opposite. Perhaps I underestimated you. I hope that I continue to do so. I shared some of the chocolate with my family. They’d never tasted it before and I don’t think that their lives will be the same now that they have. That was the best part of it, sharing something that you gave me with my family._

_The coming days will be busy for me, and I fear that I may not be able to write to you. Archmage Antonidas has fallen ill, and all of the Kirin Tor has been called forward to decide upon future leadership. Typically this would be left to the Council of Six, but they believe that a reform in leadership is necessary. I am inclined to agree._

_I include with this letter a small gift for you, for I realize that I had no gift to exchange for yours. I realize that it is nothing special, but I consider it to be appropriate. You see, in Dalaran, we are often expected to communicate with other mages in unconventional means as we are often unable to travel for one reason or another. This token is an example of such a method. It seems like a plain momento on a chain, but it contains an echo of my person. This way, I will be able to communicate with you when letters will not do, or you will be able to see something that resembles me if you wish to do so. The image you will see without my response is limited to a few simple phrases, but if you miss me like you claim to, it may serve to comfort you. Wear it around your neck; tuck it into your shirt if you must, but this way I may remain close to you even from Lordaeron._

_Take care of yourself, Anduin, and know that even if I do not immediately answer your letters, I always read them, and they give me hope._

_Yours,_

_Khadgar_

 


	27. No Clear Path

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Khadgar conducts business in Dalaran.

Dalaran was not a dangerous city by any means, especially if one was a mage. The Kirin Tor prided themselves on a clean and orderly city – the ideal, they said, to inhibit the study of all things arcane. It was probably one of the safer cities of Azeroth. Khadgar knew this after spending the majority of his life in Dalaran, but when he entered the city, uneasiness plagued him. The last time he had been in Dalaran, they had all but sold him to Anduin Lothar to guarantee his compliance. _It wasn't such a bad deal,_ Khadgar thought, _but all the same,_ _I was a commodity to them, not a person with needs and thoughts._

And then there was Antonidas... Khadgar never wanted to see Antonidas again.

As he approached the Violet Citadel, it felt like every mage's eye was on him. He wanted to be defiant, maybe turn one of those arrogant observers into a sheep and then burn the wool off for his own amusement (the mental image of a bald high elf was particularly pleasing), but he felt small in the face of so many other people, and he forced himself to look onward until he saw a familiar figure waiting for him near the doors: Medivh.

He smiled, relieved despite his instincts telling him not to be. Someone was going in the Violet Citadel with him, someone who hated the Kirin Tor more than he did and had never been a part of their order to begin with. Khadgar didn't know why the Kirin Tor had called Medivh, or if he had even been invited, but he suspected that Medivh would be like a vulture now that Antonidas was ill. He wondered if the old mage realized how many people were gathered, waiting to see what good news his death might bring them.

 _Best not to worry about that,_ Khadgar told himself as Medivh stepped forward to meet him.

“Guardian. Lothar mentioned that you might be here, but I was beginning to wonder. He insisted that I bring you _another_ letter.”

“He's been using you to deliver them all this time? What am I saying, of course he has. I don't know why I didn't realize.”

“You're too used to sending your own letters to consider where his are coming from,” said Medivh, a hint of bitterness in his voice. “I've told him that I'm not a courier, but he thinks that it's my obligation to him. I relented because I was certain that he would stop, but he hasn't. I find it strange that he continues writing to you when he could not be bothered to write to his son.”

 _A son?_ “I don't understand.”

“Oh, he's always been _literate_ , of course, but never one to bother with sentimental writing-”

“A son, you said? He never mentioned... how old?”

“I don't know, about twenty years old, give or take. I never paid him much mind.”

“Let's go inside.” _A son. I can't believe that he would hide something so huge from me. And so close to my age... no wonder he didn't respect me..._ Khadgar had to remind himself to breathe. Surely there was some explanation. Lothar wouldn't hide his son on purpose... would he?

Compared to the crowd outside, the gathering inside the Violet Citadel seemed exclusive when the doors were closed to outsiders. He saw among them many faces he recognized, many of them old teachers and mentors, and the members of the Council of Six among them: Krasus, Kael'Thas, Kel'Thuzad, a pudgy man and a statuesque woman that he did not recognize. The only one missing was Antonidas himself.

“Shall we begin?” Kael'Thas asked, and with a clap of his hand drew all attention in the room to himself. “We are in intimate company, and so there is no need for formality in these proceedings. It is no secret that Archmage Antonidas is in poor health. The time has come to choose his successor, and we feel that a new path must be taken, and so we call to you, the best mages in Azeroth, to ask your input. To speak plainly, we have considered several of you, along with several others, but there is no clear path.”

“No clear path?” Medivh rose from his seat. He had a look in his eyes that made Khadgar want to sink further into his chair. “You have a Guardian and a dragon in your midst!”

The room was abuzz with excitement and fear when the word 'dragon' left the mage's lips. “Our concern is not prestige, but for the best leadership. Surely you understand our position-”

“Bah. On with it. What is it you want?”

A woman in the chair behind theirs put a hand on Medivh's shoulder. Khadgar was sure that he would lash out, but Medivh's gaze dropped to the floor and he said nothing. Khadgar looked at her face even if it was rude. Her eyes met his: green eyes like Medivh's, eyes that said that she knew too much and said nothing of it.

“Aegwynn.”

He said it so quietly that he wasn't sure that she could hear it, but the mage inclined her head as if to acknowledge that it was indeed her. _Medivh's mother._ How bizarre this day was becoming!

“What is your opinion, Guardian? What sort of leadership does the Kirin Tor require in these changing times?” Kael'Thas looked right at Khadgar with a directness that he had come to appreciate. Khadgar was aware that heads had turned and jaws had dropped to know that _he_ was in the room, and he was aware that his graying travel robes were altogether inappropriate among the rich purples and golds of Kirin Tor robes, but he was still the Guardian, and in that moment, he had a voice, which was more than he'd had for a great deal of his life.

“I believe that the Kirin Tor has a lot of work to do,” he admitted. “Of course, our leader needs to have knowledge. That much is axiomatic. We also need one whose position commands respect, as there will be those who will be unused to authority other than Antonidas. The greatest thing, the thing that you have regrettably lacked until now, is someone who understands our ideals yet is so removed from them that our worldview will not cloud judgment.”

“You presume to present yourself.” Kel'Thuzad's dark eyes were studying him.

“I do not, and if you were to offer the position to me, I would have no choice but to refuse. A Guardian is meant to be neutral, and I shall _remain_ neutral. There is another who I would suggest, if you would allow me to voice my true thoughts.”

“Of course.” Krasus gestured for Khadgar to go on.

“Since I received the news and your summons, I deliberated much. I wondered to myself who could possibly live up to the reputation of a man like Antonidas, the good and the bad. I remembered my time in Dalaran training with Antonidas, and it made the decision all the harder, given my complicated feelings regarding him. I reached the conclusion that there can only be one who could lead with effectiveness and sense. I believe that Magna Medivh would best suit that role.”

The room was in an uproar. Chief among those who protested were his old professors, who cried that Medivh hadn't even answered _one_ of their very important letters, had never lived in Dalaran, didn't understand the operations of the Kirin Tor and was the most unfitting leader that Khadgar could have mentioned. Medivh was impassive. Khadgar suspected that the former Guardian somehow knew what the outcome would be before a word had been uttered. Somehow, he thought that he shared the understanding.

“There will be quiet!”

The debates died down, and once again all eyes were on Khadgar. “It is true that he has never lived in Dalaran, but I believe that he has an understanding of what happens here without taking a single step into our city. Medivh was once a Guardian, only stripped of his abilties because old mages were unable to control him.” _Leave out the possession._ “I have the powers of the Guardian. I can sense what he is capable of, and I think that you will come to regret it if you do not chose Medivh to fill Antonidas' place. Perhaps if I were talk to him, Antonidas would agree with me.”

“Antonidas spoke of you taking his place, Guardian.”

“Then he trusts my judgment. This is what I desire. Do what you will.”

The grueling discussion went on all day and half the night before it was decided that Medivh would take Antonidas' place in the Council of the Six. For a time, he would co-lead with Krasus, but there would come a time when he would lead independently. Khadgar supposed that if Medivh's capabilities were anything like his mother's, he would hold the position for centuries.

When at last it was over, Medivh found him sitting by the Dalaran fountain, casting a coin in exchange for a wish. _A letter that explains what's been hidden from me._ He held out the letter. It seemed thicker than before.

“Your letter. I suppose I have you to blame for all of this.”

Khadgar shook his head. “You know as well as I do that all of this was decided long before you or I had a choice in the matter. I was the one to set it off, but you would have been here with or without me. You came because you knew.”

“If everything is so certain to you, then tell me, Magna, what is the fate of this marriage you so stubbornly cling to?”

“I couldn't say.”

“Maybe that letter will give you some vision of a future with or without Anduin Lothar.”

“Let us both hope so.”

He could still feel Medivh's eyes on him. “There is much you still have to learn, Trust, about magic and life. I will come to Lordaeron in a fortnight. Be prepared for a lesson, and know that I do not go easy on my students.”

Medivh vanished into the shadows, and Khadgar was alone and free to open the letter.

 

_Khadgar,_

_I was more ready than ever to write you, because tonight everything is different somehow. I never got to tell you this, and maybe I was an idiot, waiting to tell you in a letter, but my son has returned. Yes, I have a son, and for the past year he has been training in Gilneas with Genn Greymane, but now he is in Stormwind. For years, I have felt that there was no way I could relate to him, and he was only a reminder of my loss, but today I felt as if I saw him for what he is, and I felt some pride with that._

_I feel that I should tell you about Callan before anyone else can. I know how Medivh grows tired of delivering my letters, and I think that he might let it slip without much concern for what it might do to me. Callan is twenty years old. His mother was my wife, but she died in childbirth. It was the worst moment of my life. Callan has wanted to be me for as long as I can remember. He has shown some promise during his time in Gilneas, I hear – we shall see how true that is on the field tomorrow. I shall not go easy on him, even if he is my son. Fathers have a duty to their sons, and that duty is not gentleness. I hope that I may one day introduce you. I should think that two young men would have much to bond over._

_It was the first time in a long time that I felt present eating a dinner with Llane and Taria. It's wrong for me to eat their food without saying a word to them, I know, but being without you is like a plague to me, and I have been sinking further into it each day. With Callan here, I feel better. Not completely better – that will only happen when I can share a bed with you once again – but like I used to feel, at least. Taria must have known. Why else would Callan be home a month early?_

_Medivh acted very strangely today. I can't describe it, but I think he worries about something. Maybe you'll know what it is. Mages understand other mages, don't they? Maybe what seems like madness to me will be sensible to you. I worry about my old friend, and I wonder if years of sharing a body took its toll on him. You would know more about all that than I do._

_It seems that this letter is all about me. How is your business in Dalaran? Was the Kirin Tor able to settle their business civilly, or was the Guardian of Azeroth forced to interfere? Do you long to see me as I long to see you? You must, to send me such a permanent gift. When can I come to see you again? How long before we are together? I know that you are busy with your business in Dalaran, but I need to know that I will see you again. Every day is too long._

_~~Love~~ ~~Best wishes~~ Love,_

_Anduin_


	28. I Know A Great Many Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Khadgar puts some work in.

His first visitor was Medivh, not because he preferred seeing the ex-Guardian to seeing Lothar, but because Medivh never felt the need to ask if he could do something before jumping into it. He supposed that being Medivh allowed him the luxury of never needing permission. Khadgar wanted to be angry at him for it but he couldn’t because he liked Medivh, and Medivh understood him in a way that few people seemed capable of. To Medivh, he wasn’t a danger or a novelty (well, maybe he _was_ a novelty, but not because he had magical abilities). He was some kid who’d been thrust into the position of Guardian just like Medivh had.

Medivh didn’t bother to wait for someone to answer the door before he burst in. Thankfully, Khadgar was alone in the house. “I hope you’re ready, Trust. We do not have time to dawdle.”

He didn’t argue. It was a great opportunity to be taught by someone as skilled as Medivh, even if that meant being taught by someone as _insane_ as Medivh. He had to nearly run to keep up with the man’s long strides. He was dressed in his fine scarlet cloak and the mantle that was covered in raven’s feathers. It made him seem more like a Guardian than Khadgar ever had. Even with those powers stripped, there was still something formidable, something _other_ about him.

The road ended and the forest began, but Medivh wasn’t deterred. Khadgar did his best not to trip on tree roots as he followed Medivh. It was harder now to keep pace, and he wondered if being alone with Medivh without telling someone where he was going was _really_ such a wise idea.

“If I wanted to kill you, Trust, I would not need privacy,” Medivh called to him.

Khadgar blushed. “How did you know?”

“I know a great many things. This is the one that you choose to question?”

He had a point, and Khadgar knew that it would do him no good to tell Medivh how jarring it was to have a powerful wizard using his magic whenever he pleased without the gentleness that he had learned to value in Dalaran. “Can you hear everything?”

“If you can tell me how I do it, I will tell you the specifics. Show me you have to show for more than a decade of Kirin Tor training, _Magna._ ”

These were the type of questions that had always served to set him apart from the dozen other Kirin Tor aspirants in his level of training. It was true that Khadgar’s magic was strong despite his carelessness, but understanding _how_ and _why_ was what he really excelled at. “Objects have magical imprints. That means they have some sort of energy to leave the imprint behind.”

“And?”

“And a powerful mage would be able to sense those energies and notice the subtleties between them. You could sense emotions like fear or anger. Maybe if you touched someone, you could even know their thoughts.”

“Tell me, how might this be useful for a mage?”

“You could know what anyone in a room was feeling, whether they meant you harm.”

“Yes, that’s true. Why not do it all the time? Why not every moment and every interaction?”

“Because there would be no need for interaction. Maybe because it consumes a lot of time and energy, or maybe because it’s not reliable.”

“Not bad. A powerful mage will not exhaust himself because there is no channeling involved in such a spell. A _skilled_ mage will know when to use such a skill and when not to probe too far. Know that this sort of trick leaves much to interpretation. Now, what might I be feeling presently?”

Khadgar allowed himself to sense Medivh beyond his movements, beyond his mere existence. The energy around him felt volatile, not dangerous like he’d feared but still thrumming with something unpleasant. “You’re ill at ease. Restless.”

“Why might that be?”

“The Kirin Tor.”

“Could be. What else might it be?”

“You’re unused to teaching. You’re unused to being around other people at all, and you’re irritated that I was frightened when you’ve done nothing to indicate that you mean me harm.”

“Interesting possibilities. The Kirin Tor was not a complete failure, then. Come, you still have much to learn.”

They reached a clearing before long. It seemed strange to Khadgar that Medivh knew the forest so intimately when his home was so far from Lordaeron, but he remembered that once, Medivh had been a Guardian, and that must have meant time in Tirisfal Glades convening with the Council. He felt somehow guilty, knowing that the power running through him had once been Medivh’s. “Does it bother you that I am the Guardian now?” he asked Medivh. “Are you still a part of the Tirisfalen?”

“I am above them,” Medivh said. “I simply do not need their power. In time, neither will you. Now is not that time, and so we are here so that you might learn to use some of that power that is wasted in your uninformed young body. Close your eyes.”

Khadgar obeyed. He didn’t like it, not knowing what Medivh planned to do, but he was sure that whatever lesson he would soon learn would be worth the discomfort.

“Open your eyes.”

Khadgar’s jaw dropped. In front of him was not one, but three Medivhs, each identical to the others. He didn’t understand how it was possible, but there they were. He took a step forward.

Left Medivh gave him a reprimanding look that made him hesitate, but Khadgar knew that the only way to tell which Medivh was real was to really look. The other Medivhs were staring at him, but he paid them no mind. He reached out to touch the Medivh closest to him, and it vanished. The other vanished as well, until only Right Medivh remained. “When you hit it, the mirror image will be exposed for the illusion that it is. Until then, it will appear as if there are three of you ready to fight any opponent. Spells can be funneled through them until that point, but in time, the illusion will shatter. Why might the mage use a mirror image in a battle?”

“More spell power?”

“Wrong. The advantage of _deception_ is a powerful one. Imagine that you have an enemy who is stronger than you, or perhaps an enemy who is much larger. If there are three of you, you may be able to overwhelm an enemy. If you cannot, the seconds before your enemy breaks the illusion will give you time to formulate a plan.”

“I should have known.”

“You should have,” Medivh agreed, “but that is the pitfall of a Dalaran education. It neglects practicality. I will teach you to create these mirror images of yourself. It is not a simple spell, but you have performed greater magic before in times of great need. The school of illusion is deceiving reality. You will be taking particles of air and forming them to your likeness for a short time. This requires a great amount of precision, and those idiots in Dalaran take years to master it, but I will see you successfully cast the illusion by the day’s end.”

“That’s impossible. I was always so terrible at illusions. Archmage Antonidas said I was hopeless-”

“I am not Antonidas, and I do not suffer excuses from my students. Focus.”

Khadgar narrowed his eyes in concentration as he forced arcane energy into the air around him. He could feel the particles in the air resisting him, and he fought back, pumping more power into them...

“Stop. Illusion is a school of coercion rather than force. Ease into it. Imagine what you are trying to do. Try again.”

Khadgar did his best to do as Medivh had told him. He manipulated the forces gradually, taking care to mold them to his image. The image that appeared before him was a flat version of himself. It flickered and faded within moments of his casting it.

“Better. You understand the principle. Now refine what you have. Be exact in your movements and calculations.”

The day wore on, and by sunset Khadgar was trembling from the effort of casting so many spells in succession, but his mirror images looked more like him with each cast. Medivh was not one to heap praise onto anyone, but his lack of derisive remarks told Khadgar that he was satisfied with the progress they had made. He was more tired than he'd been since the business in Karazhan, but something in Khadgar responded to the presence of a teacher. He wanted to show Medivh that he was capable of learning something, that he was worthy of the man's attention. Medivh gave individuals attention so rarely that he needed to prove it all the more.

“Let us retire.”

“One more try,” Khadgar insisted. “I can do it this time.”

“Of that I have no doubt, but you will strain yourself, and I am not so irresponsible as to push until I have to carry your limp body to your family. Practice in the coming days. Limit it to three hours a day. Make no mistake: I will expect progress upon my return.”

“And when shall I expect your return?”

“Whenever I find it convenient.”

Khadgar supposed that was the best he would get from Medivh.

When he returned home, he took the time to pen a letter to Lothar. He had waited long enough, and his exhaustion called for him to sit down.

 

_Anduin,_

_Medivh came here today to teach me. I suspect that after our meeting with the Kirin Tor, he felt some level of loyalty toward me, though I cannot say for certain that it has any permanence. He's strange, but he surprised me today by being a better teacher than I expected. As a result I am exhausted, and my letter to you may be short. Medivh will take Antonidas' place in the Council of Six. I have faith that his disdain toward the Kirin Tor will prove to drive reform._

_I wish you had told me about your son. Did you intend to hide Callan from me, or were you so thoughtless as to put him out of your mind the moment he left Stormwind? It makes me wonder whether that might be some of the reason for your initial resistance toward our ~~marriage~~ arrangement, that his age is so close to mine. I would like to write to him, should you give me the chance, and one day I shall meet him, but not yet. You and I have much to discuss._

_Even with the surprise of your son, your letter pleased me, and it would be my pleasure to host you in Lordaeron again. If this visit is anything like the last, I shall come to visit you in Stormwind now and again. It feels strange to admit it, but I miss you, Anduin, maybe more than you miss me. I still wonder if you truly have devoted yourself to ~~me~~ this. I hope that you have._

_Yours,_

_Khadgar_


	29. The Wickerman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Hallow's End in Lordaeron.

It was the day Lothar had been waiting for since the moment he'd left: the day that he could visit Khadgar. Medivh was waiting for him at the end of the hallway, wearing that ridiculous traveling cloak that he liked so much. It was strange for Medivh to leave his room or the library for anything, and stranger still for him to be waiting for Anduin, even if they were old friends. Lothar couldn't help but be suspicious.

“I thought you hated helping me with this.”

“Come now, Anduin, do not question a good thing when it comes to you. If you've eaten breakfast, we will travel to Lordaeron immediately.”

“We? Since when was this a 'we' trip? I'm only going to see Khadgar.”

“Excellent. You can be there to witness whether his spell work has improved,” Medivh said in that prickly way of his. “I suspect that it has. The boy seems eager to prove himself as deserving the power granted him.”

Lothar rolled his eyes. “You and I _both_ know that I can't make heads or tales of anything to do with magic. You'd better make this quick. I didn't plan to share my time with anyone, especially you.” He knew that it did him no good to be bitter at Medivh for teaching Khadgar – better that he be grateful that he was getting training from someone so advanced – but he couldn't help but feel a tinge of jealousy every time Khadgar had mentioned him in his letter. Khadgar could be Medivh's student, but he would be Anduin's in more important ways, something which Anduin fully intended to prove during their day together.

Medivh's eyes glowed blue as he formed the teleportation circle around them. He had an ease to him that Khadgar often lacked when casting spells. It was easy for Anduin to forget that Khadgar was barely more than a boy, fresh out of the Kirin Tor's academy. For all the time he'd had to perfect it, Medivh's teleportation spell made his stomach as weak as Khadgar's had before. _You'd think with all the power he has at his disposal, Medivh would at least try to make this a comfortable trip._

Anduin was surprised when they appeared not in the city of Lordaeron, but at the doorstep of a two-story cabin. “What's the meaning of this?”

“Expediency,” Medivh said simply, and then rapped on the door like appearing at Khadgar's home was the most natural thing in the world.

“I'm not scheduled to meet him for another half-hour. He could be alseep-”

Khadgar appeared at the doorway and peered out at them. He was more handsome than Lothar remembered, and he looked as if he'd just rolled out of his bed. “I didn't expect you so early, Anduin.” He turned to Medivh. “Could you maybe consider giving me time to get dressed and eat my breakfast before I show you the spell?”

“I could be persuaded, but I will expect it to succeed all the more when you are wide awake, Trust. Won't you let us in?”

Khadgar looked taken aback. “Come in.”

It was certainly an _intimate_ space, Lothar thought as they entered the cabin. It wasn't a small space, exactly, but the walls were lined with cupboards packed with old paintings and momentos and formal dining sets. The coffee table and the chairs too close together for Lothar's liking. Perhaps he was spoiled to Stormwind Keep.

A young man looked up at them. “Who the hell are you?”

“Sir Anduin Lothar, the Lion of Stormwind, champion and commander of the Stormwind Royal Army. To my right is ex-Guardian Medivh.”

“I don't care about your _resume,_ I just want to know what you're doing here.”

Lothar rolled his eyes. “Medivh's here to teach him some spell or something – I don't know what that's about, but I'm sure you'll find out the second I do. I'm Khadgar's husband, and I’ve heard all about you.” _Khadgar's husband._ That was the first time anyone had said it. It felt strange to him, but Lothar realized that it wasn't so unwelcome.

“How fitting. I’ve heard nothing about you.”

“Someone had to comfort him after you told him that you didn’t want him here,” Lothar said.

“I’m sure I can guess what form that _comfort_ took,” he said drily.

“Don’t be crass, John. They’ve come to see me.” When Khadgar came back to the room, he was dressed in simple black clothes that were clearly newer than his old traveling clothes. They suited him. He looked a little older in them, his face more defined. He looked at Medivh. “I don't know if I've mastered the spell yet, but I practiced every night. I don't think I've ever worked so hard to learn a spell, and I hope that I can do it again.”

He drew his hands together and bit his lip in concentration. Lothar considered asking just what he was trying to do, but he knew that it was best not to distract a mage mid-spell. Before he could say _Kirin Tor of Dalaran,_ there were three identical Khadgars. The one on the left seemed to have darker hair than the others, but they all looked at Anduin with the same hopeful expression.

“What do you think, Anduin? It's an illusion. If you hit them-” The Khadgar on the left reached out and struck the Khadgar in the middle, and it faded like mist, taking the Khadgar to the right with it. “-the illusion shatters.”

“Medivh taught you that?”

He nodded. “My illusion magic has always been a weak point, but he insisted.”

“The colors of your illusions are off just a touch,” Medivh told him. “You will continue to work on refining them. You will direct energy through them so that your water bolts are fired as if the illusions were firing them. This will require more energy than you are used to tapping, but you have the capability.”

“Thank you.”

“Thank me by continuing to apply yourself, Trust.” He looked at Lothar. “I am afraid that you will have to find lodging in Lordaeron tonight. I have business in Dalaran.”

“Thanks for the advance warning. I brought no money to rent a room with.”

“Then stay here. I am sure that Khadgar would be more than willing to accommodate you. It isn’t as if you’ve never shared a bed before.” Still smirking, Medivh let himself out the front door, leaving Lothar alone with Khadgar and his brother.

Anduin placed a guiding hand on Khadgar’s back. “Come on. Hallow’s End starts today, and I wouldn’t want us to miss anything.”

Anduin had always liked holidays. Hallow’s End was among his favorites. There was nothing like watching the wicker man burn in the crisp night air, celebrating endings and renewals while eating treats that were passed out in the cities. Anduin even loved the silly masks that his sister had always insisted that he wear during the solemn days of their youth. He imagined that it all would be better still with Khadgar at his side.

“Have you celebrated Hallow’s End before?” he asked Khadgar.

“Yes and no. Dalaran had occasional festivals, but they encouraged us to study instead of partaking in any of it. I always stayed in the library.”

“I’ve never met someone as sheltered as you. I’m sure that you’ll love it as much as I do.” Anduin leaned in and kissed Khadgar.

Carved pumpkins already lined the streets. They stared back at Anduin with empty eyes, eyes that he knew would flicker with candlelight when the sun set and the festivities really began. The buckets of candy were waiting outside as well. Anduin caught a glimpse of a child, hands already full of candy, eyeing the nearest bucket. He dragged Khadgar toward the bucket.

“It gets stuck in your teeth,” he warned as he handed him a piece of Hallow’s End candy.

Khadgar didn’t seem to mind as he popped the gooey candy into his mouth. He gave Anduin a close-lipped smile as he chewed. “’S rrry grrd,” he said.

“That’s not the best part. Let’s get some masks. Taria _always_ made me wear the ogre mask and _she_ got to wear a normal female human mask. We always got Callan a mask just like mine, even though what he really wanted was a naga mask. Here, let’s make you a murloc.” He gestured toward the vendor. Khadgar followed him.

“What’ll it be, boys?”

“I’ll take one male ogre and one murloc male.” He dug in his pouch for the only few coins he had and handed one to the vendor. He held the mask up to his face and watched as Khadgar fumbled with his. He would make a great murloc.

“It feels strange strapped over my face like this,” Khadgar said. “Am I wearing it the right way?”

Lothar eyed him. “It’s fine. You’ll get used to it. By the end of the day, you’ll forget that you’re wearing a mask.”

“I seriously doubt that,” Khadgar muttered.

Anduin wrapped a possessive arm around Khadgar and led him toward the courtyard in front of the palace, where he knew the wickerman would be. He lifted his mask long enough for the royal guards to let them through – the first day of Hallow’s End was a very involved royal affair, and security would be high at least until nightfall. Lothar caught a glimpse of Terenas Menethil himself inspected the giant wooden figure standing in the middle of the courtyard.

“What _is_ that thing?” Khadgar gasped.

“Wicker man. It gets burned tonight. Stormwind has one at least that size, but Lordaeron’s is still impressive. Terenas will light the fire when everyone gathers here.”

“Wow. I’ve never seen anything quite like it before.” As they drew closer, Khadgar reached out and touched it. “This must have taken so long to build.”

Lothar shrugged. “Terenas has a lot of men to work on it for him. It’s tradition; they know how to do it well by now.”

“Why do they burn it? Why destroy something that they put so much work into building?”

“It’s a symbol of the year that is passing. Like farmers burn the remains of harvested fields, we burn away all that encumbers us and embrace what is to come.”

“And what will you burn away this year, Anduin?”

He sighed. “I should tell you something. Callan’s mother Cally and I, we met when we were young. It wasn’t a political marriage. We were so in love, and when we found out that she was pregnant with Callan, we were so happy. Then she died giving birth to him…” Anduin ran a hand through his hair. He’d never talked about Cally before, even with Callan. The words seemed to catch in his throat, but Anduin knew that he had to go on. “I was overcome with grief. It took me years to work past it, but even when I did, I didn’t believe I could ever love anyone like I loved her again. I didn’t think I could fall in love again. It’s been difficult for me, but I think I’m starting to learn.”

Khadgar still stared at the wickerman. Lothar could tell that he didn’t grasp the full gravity of what he was trying to tell him. He started to reach toward Khadgar but stopped short of taking his hand. He looked toward the wicker man as he felt Khadgar’s eyes assessing him. “I don’t understand.”

“I just think that-” he cleared his throat. “I think that I could be in love. With you, I mean. Not ‘could be’. I mean, I think I am. Know I am, even.” He shook his head. “Light. This is all coming out wrong.”

“Are you really in love with me?” Khadgar’s voice was small, timid.

“There isn’t a doubt in my mind.” There were doubts: doubts that Khadgar would tell him that he was being foolish, doubts that he’d ruined the moment, doubts that he could never reverse the damage he’d done. But he loved Khadgar. He knew that much. He turned to look at Khadgar, and Khadgar’s eyes lingered on his face, searching for any sign of deception.

“I love you, Anduin. I have for some time now.”

Anduin was grinning. “Take that stupid mask off so that I can kiss you.”

Khadgar pulled the murloc mask above his head, and Anduin took care not to rip the strap of his mask as he did the same. He took a step toward Khadgar. He ran a trembling hand down the side of his face, then cupped his cheek. Khadgar’s skin was gloriously soft against the roughness of his hand. The kiss was slow and sweet at first, gentle as to take it at Khadgar’s pace. The mage’s arms wrapped around Anduin’s neck and he moved ever closer to Anduin as the kiss deepened. Everything around him was Khadgar, and Khadgar was holding onto him as if he were the only solid thing keeping him from sinking.

How could he have ever doubted this? Khadgar was what he wanted, bookish, innocent Khadgar who was infinitely patient with him, who saw him not as the Lion of Azeroth but as just Anduin Lothar. Khadgar who had saved Medivh, and who would save a part of Anduin as well.

He never wanted the moment to end, but end it did.

When the night came, the courtyard became ever fuller, and Terenas himself appeared, wearing his full royal regalia. His wife was at his side, smiling. When the citizens of Lordaeron saw him, they cheered. He was loved by the people. He explained the purpose of the wickerman as was the yearly tradition. When his speech ended, he took a torch from one of his guards and extended it toward the wickerman. Flame licked at the leg and spread upward, devouring the wood as night wore on. There were cheers and dancing as it wore on. Khadgar’s eyes were glued to the burning figure.

“Let’s get you home,” Anduin said.

Khadgar’s family was still at the festival, Anduin realized as they walked into an empty cabin. He didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed. Khadgar took him by the hand and led him to his bedroom. Anduin wondered for a moment what it would look like in candlelight. He stripped out of his tunic and climbed into the bed.

“Come keep me company, spell-chucker.”

“Y-you know we can’t-”

“I wasn’t going to try,” Anduin promised. “Just come here and I’ll prove it to you.”

Khadgar settled into the bed beside him. Anduin was reminded of their wedding night, when the single bed hadn’t been nearly large enough to hold the both of them, but this time he wanted to bring Khadgar’s body close to his, and this time he welcomed Khadgar into the bed. He wrapped an arm around Khadgar’s waist and buried his head into the man’s shoulder. Khadgar shivered.

“Is this too much?” Anduin asked him.

“It’s just enough,” Khadgar said.

Anduin pressed feather-light kisses into Khadgar’s neck and shoulder. “I missed this,” he told him. “You have no idea how much I’ve thought about it. Having you with me again...” He kissed Khadgar again.

“I missed you too,” Khadgar said. “I’ve been thinking about returning to Stormwind, just as a trial, to see if we could make it once we’re together all the time again.” He turned to face Anduin. His dark eyes were faintly visible in the dull moonlight that came through the window.

Anduin smiled. “Whatever you want. I would like that. I think Callan would like that as well.”

He drifted to sleep holding Khadgar in his arms.


	30. You Deserve A Bigger Bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day after the cuddlefest.

Khadgar woke to Lothar’s strong arms wrapped around him. He’d never been given much affection in his life, and the feel of someone near him was a welcome new sensation. Khadgar could hardly believe that it was Anduin in the bed with him, so close to him that he could feel the rise and fall of his chest against him. His heart hammered in his chest. Anduin had said that he loved him. Anduin wanted him to come to Stormwind. It was too good to be true.

If Lothar’s arms weren’t so warm, Khadgar would have packed for his journey to Stormwind. He didn’t know whether he would stay permanently – he would only know that when he saw what their day-to-day life was like – but he planned to pack enough clothes to feel comfortable for at least a week or two. And there was still the business of telling his family… Khadgar loved them all more than anything, but the time had come to live as a man with the man he’d agreed to marry.

 _It won’t be for the rest of my life_ , he told himself. I’ll write them all the time. _I’ll teleport to Lordaeron to see them as often as I can. Maybe they could come to Stormwind to see me, too._ It didn’t have to be painful. He didn’t have to choose. As eager as Khadgar was to return to Stormwind, he was afraid as well. What if things didn’t go right with Anduin? What if Anduin changed his mind? What if Anduin’s son hated him? Khadgar knew little about the world outside of magic, but he imagined that a young man could have trouble respecting a step-parent close to their own age. He hoped that Callan was tolerant.

He felt Lothar moving behind him, propping himself up against the pillows. He was awake at last. Khadgar could feel Anduin’s hot breath against his ear. “Good morning, bookworm.”

“What if Callan hates me?”

“He won’t hate you.”

“But what if he does?”

“He won't.” Anduin's voice had that resolute tone that told Khadgar that he would refuse to worry about such things. “He likes everyone. It would be _impossible_ for him to start with someone as brilliant as you... and as _warm_ as you. Light, a man could stay here all day.”

“I would love that, but you can't. I need to talk to my father about returning to Stormwind with you. I don't want it to mean the end of my relationship with my family, so I'd like to make it clear to them that I intend to contact them regularly, whether it be through letters or visits. If I do that now, I can begin to pack and we can teleport to Stormwind in time to wash up before dinner.”

“Before you do all of that, turn around.”

Khadgar rolled so that he was facing Lothar. Anduin's head was level with his, and his blue eyes were sparkling as he looked down at Khadgar like he'd never been looked at before, like he was _wanted_. He was the most handsome thing that Khadgar had ever seen despite his age, and Khadgar found himself absently tracing the man's bare chest with his hands, marveling at the hard muscle. He knew that it was dangerous, that Anduin could take the touch as more than he was ready to give.

Anduin caught Khadgar's wrists and brought Khadgar's hands up to his mouth. He brushed his lips against them. “Don't tempt me. I _will_ keep you here all day if you keep touching me like that.”

Khadgar shivered. Lothar had spoken of consummating their marriage before, but he hadn't considered that Anduin might actually want him sexually. Anduin was strong and experienced and famous, anything that anyone could want, and Khadgar was... Khadgar. Khadgar knew that he had positive qualities, but none of them necessarily translated well sexually. Or at least, he didn't think they did, but if Anduin wanted him...

“I really should leave the bed today,” he said, trying to convince himself as much as Anduin.”

“You're not tied to the bed, bookworm. Get up.”

Without the blanket or Anduin wrapped around him, the air felt unpleasantly cold. Khadgar shuddered and draped his cloak around his shoulders. He longed to take Anduin with him outside to talk to his father – alone, he felt like a child admitting that he'd just broken a vase – but he knew that there were things that he couldn't count on Anduin to do, and this was one of them. He could see his breath in the cool air, just like the day he'd been taken away.

 _It's not like that. It's not forever._ He felt like an animal being watched by a stronger predator. He remembered what it had been like when the Kirin Tor had dragged him away, and it was much the same. He could tell himself that it wasn't forever, but it still _felt_ like it. Tears fell down his face, and there was no way to slow them. _They're going to hate me for this. He's going to hate me most of all because he's the one who took me in._

His father was in the stables, and John was at his side. Khadgar wanted to stop crying so that he could face his father and brother with dignity. He wanted to prove that he was less of a child than everyone seemed to think, but he could barely breathe for all the unpleasant possibilities. _They'll never want to see me again. Who can blame them?_

It was John who rushed to his side. “What's this? Why are you crying? Did that idiot hurt you?”

Khadgar shook his head.

“What, then? What could make you bawl like this?”

“I'm going to Stormwind,” Khadgar said pathetically. “I'm staying there, if things go well with Anduin.”

“Did he force you to come back with him? If he did-”

“He didn't _force_ me to do anything. I love him, and I want to live with him again, but...” He sighed. “I don't want to leave you, now or ever. It seems that there's always something to pull us apart.”

Khadgar's father watched him from across the stables. “Your sister left when she was married,” he said. “It's the natural order. Of course you want to do the same.”

“My sister wasn't taken from you before she had a chance to know you. It's different.”

“You can't let that hold you back from living your life and you know it. Your life is in Stormwind with this man you've been dying to see since you came here to stay. That is where you would be happy.”

“I'm happy here,” he said.

“You long for something else. There's no shame in that, Khadgar.”

Khadgar wiped his eyes. “I shall write you as often as I can, I swear it. I'll visit too if you'd let me. You could come see me too. Stormwind is different from Lordaeron, but you would be welcome there, I am sure. Anduin's sister is the queen. I know that it's a long trip, but I could take us there in a moment's time if you're not afraid.”

“You're a good boy, Khadgar. The Kirin Tor didn't ruin you after all.”

Khadgar laughed despite himself. “I should pack, I suppose. You cannot fathom how much I'll miss you when I go.”

The sorrowful look in his father's eyes told Khadgar that maybe he could fathom it after all. “Go, son, before you talk yourself out of it.”

Khadgar was still fighting tears when he entered his bedroom. Anduin was asleep on the bed, the blanket tangled between his legs and the pillow caught in his strong arms. He was too tall for the bed, and his ankles and feet leaned on the trunk at the foot of the bed. Khadgar propped it open with care; he had no desire to wake Anduin just yet.

It didn't take long for Khadgar to throw his few outfits into the bag he'd packed them in to start with. He had a single book, the book his father had bought him during the first day they'd spent together. Khadgar held the book to his chest, treasuring it as if it held a part of his father. He'd kept it in the trunk to keep it safe, but he couldn't imagine leaving Lordaeron without it. When he was packed, he glanced at Anduin. _Still asleep._

He threw one of his extra pillows at Anduin. The warrior woke with a start. “'m awake.”

“Put your shirt on so we can leave.”

Anduin sat up and grinned. “You sure you want me to put it on? Earlier, you seemed ready to burn it.”

“Don't joke around. Come on.”

“What's wrong with you? Did I mess up yesterday? Was it that I said something about you touching me? Because I didn't mean it to sound like I can't control myself. I can.” He took Khadgar's hands in his. “I promise you, I can.”

Khadgar tried to smile. “I know, Anduin. It's not that.”

“Then what?”

“I don't know how I'm going to make it without my family,” Khadgar said.

Lothar put his arms around Khadgar and pulled him close. Khadgar buried his head in Lothar's chest and let himself be lost in the comfort of his touch. Anduin's hand rested on the back of his head, and Khadgar sighed a happy sigh. Being held by Anduin took the rest of the world away, added a stability that Khadgar never knew that he'd missed until it was there. He wrapped his arms around Anduin and tried to steady his breathing.

“I needed this,” he murmured into Anduin's chest.

“Are you ready to go home?”

Khadgar nodded weakly. Anduin didn't release him even as they teleported into Stormwind Keep. He didn't want Anduin to let him go. They were in Anduin's private room, but he was sure that he would have clung to Anduin even if they'd appeared in the throne room. Anduin's body just felt so _great_ against him-

Someone cleared their throat behind them, and Khadgar jumped back with a yelp.

“I guess this is the man you've been pining after.”

Lothar cleared his throat. “Right. This is Callan. My son. Callan, Khadgar.”

Callan was the image of Anduin, and that set Khadgar at ease somehow. “I hoped I would meet you soon.”

“I wondered what you would be like,” Callan admitted. “You're not what I expected. Maybe what I would expect for _Medivh_ , but-”

“Shouldn't you be training?”

Callan shrugged. “I drilled early today. Besides, I thought I would stay near the castle in case you brought someone home.”

“Don't mind him,” Anduin said. “He's still adjusting to everything. He found out about our marriage from a letter that Taria sent.”

“Oh no, I didn't mean to be rude. I'm sure that you're perfectly likeable. You're just not what I had in mind, even when I heard that you were a mage.”

“I don't imagine that I am what _anyone_ was expecting when Stormwind entered this arrangement, Callan. I have been aware of that for some time. We work with what we are given, it turns out, and sometimes what we are given exceeds our expectations.”

“You must be talking about yourself, because I know my father better than to expect greatness from him.” He grinned. “I'll let Aunt Taria know to expect you for dinner.”

Anduin closed the space between him and Khadgar and put his arm around his shoulders. “You were worried for nothing,” he said.

“It would seem so.”

“Come here.”

Anduin pulled Khadgar into a kiss. Khadgar's heart hammered in his chest. Anduin's lips felt wonderful against his, even better every time Anduin kissed him. In a moment of boldness, Khadgar parted his lips, and Anduin's tongue traced his lips. He wanted more of Anduin, always more. He wanted Anduin to push his boundaries; he wanted to tell Anduin that maybe he was ready for more afterward, because _this_ , the feel of Anduin's tongue in his mouth and Anduin's body pressing into his was so good that he needed to know what the rest would feel like. He grasped Anduin's tunic and pulled him toward the bed.

Anduin pulled away from him. “Not now,” he breathed. “Not until you know how much you mean to me.”

“Then tell me now.”

“It isn't enough.” He kissed Khadgar's lips again. “You deserve better than a lust-clouded love confession. You deserve...” He bit his lip. “You deserve a bigger bed. You always wanted to make this bed bigger, didn't you? Well, you were right. Rearrange the room and make it bigger.”

He scoffed, disbelieving. “I'm trying to make out with you and you're asking me to rearrange your room?”

“ _Our_ room, and that's exactly what I'm asking you to do.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I need to see Llane. See to that bed.”

Khadgar couldn't believe it. Anduin Lothar had refused him. Times were certainly changing.


	31. A Stranger Night

The news came in the middle of the night.

It came when Lothar lay awake in his bed, his arms loosely wrapped against Khadgar, unable to sleep. Things had almost gone too far, too fast between them, and he didn’t want to be too physically close to Khadgar so soon after the temptation. Part of Anduin hoped that Khadgar would try to lure him out of his clothes again, but part of him was terrified that he wouldn’t control himself in the moment. Khadgar was so many things to him. Khadgar had to know that before they were together in every sense. He just had to figure out how to show him.

One moment, Anduin was enjoying the quiet of his bed, and the next, he heard the shouts of his men across the keep. Out of instinct, he wrestled himself free of Khadgar and threw on his shirt. It was his job to protect Taria and Llane, and it sounded like there was trouble in Stormwind. He strapped on his armor, grabbed his sword and ran for the door.

One of his guards caught him by the arm as soon as he emerged from his room. “Sir, there’s urgent news from the king. You should go to him.”

“What is the meaning of this chaos?”

“I don’t know, sir. The men were told to be ready for your orders. There’s been panic across the castle.”

“See that order is restored.” Lothar shoved past the man toward the heart of the keep, where he knew Llane would wait for him. It was rare that it came to this, meeting in a secure chamber in the midde of the night, and Lothar felt his heartbeat quicken with panic. _What if he’s in danger? Why did he not send for me?_

Midway through the chamber, he caught a glimpse of Medivh, still wearing his robes. “What’s happened?” he called. Surely Medivh would tell him.

“Where is the Guardian?”

“Asleep in my bed, of course.”

“Move aside. We have need of him.” Medivh’s voice was even, but his eyes were wild.

“What sort of situation would call for a Guardian? I have my men; let me see to it that Khadgar isn’t bothered before-”

“This is his destiny, Anduin. It’s what he was meant for since the moment Antonidas and the others set their greedy eyes on him, and it’s the reason he received my powers. You cannot save the world. Your husband can.”

Lothar balked at Medivh’s words. “He’s not ready. You know he’s not ready. I’ve fought all my life. There’s not a threat I haven’t met head-on and defeated.”

“There is _one_ threat, I’m afraid, and it’s coming for us soon. The orcs have decided to make their move for Stormwind, and they will not relent until everyone is dead. Their leader uses fel magic. This is not a job for a warrior.” He eyed Anduin. “Khadgar is more ready than you believe. From the beginning, I saw great potential in him-”

“ _Potential_ won’t protect him from orcs and it won’t save him if his life is at risk! I can’t risk losing him. Take care of the orcs without him, I beg you!”

“He saved me from an evil greater than you can comprehend, and he’s managed to turn you around. He can do anything he might need to do. This I swear to you as one who wielded the power that courses through him now.”

Lothar sighed. He knew that he had no time to delay Medivh, knew that there was no changing his mind. “Let me go to him, then, after I speak to Llane. I should be the one who speaks to him first.”

“Have it your way, but do make haste.”

Llane was sitting in the command room, still in his night robe but wearing his crown. It was an absurd formality at a time like this, but it added a certain gravity to the situation that Llane’s presence alone could not. It reminded him of the day Llane’s father died – then, too, he had been sitting alone in the throne room, staring at the crown as if it repulsed him. He had wept there in the privacy of the command room. The next day, when he had been crowned king, he showed no signs of grief. There had been no time for it.

“Lothar, sit. We have much to discuss.”

Lothar took a seat across from Llane. Medivh did not linger, and the two of them were left alone, commander and king. Lothar met Llane’s eyes and waited for him to speak.

“We received a courier from the edge of the kingdom. Villages all along the Black Morass have been sacked by creatures unlike anything we have ever seen. There was no provocation, nothing that our people can see that would lead them to attack.”

“We should have known that this day would come.”

“That isn’t all.” Llane’s mouth twitched. “They leave corruption in their wake. Where they go, the land is destroyed. It changes. No life is sustained there. There are trolls, too, in the edge of the jungle, more aggressive than ever. They have always been cunning, but they have never moved so far as to raid our settlements before now.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“We received word that they continue to move north. They must be stopped before they can reach our cities.”

Anduin frowned. “They wield foul magic. Our troops would be no use against them while they are at full strength. We’ll have to take greater action, magical action… but Medivh already told you that, didn’t he?”

“I know that you feel protective of Khadgar, but together, he and Medivh could stop the orcs from ever threatening us again. There’s sense in it. It would save so many lives, at the risk of so few!”

“I know that there’s sense in it. All I ask is that you let me speak to him and let me join him when he leaves to fight the orcs. That much is my duty to him.”

“Of course. See to it that you speak to him soon.”

Anduin couldn’t fathom speaking with Khadgar about something as grave as the orcs. There was a possibility that it would all go wrong and Khadgar could die. He couldn’t bear thinking of being without Khadgar. As he sat on the bed, he took a moment to study Khadgar. He looked so content in their bed, unaware of what was going on in the world as he dreamed. He stroked Khadgar’s face. The mage stirred awake at Lothar’s touch.

“You’re awake,” Khadgar said, confused.

“You should be too.” Lothar shook his head. It was too much too soon. Everything had been so great mere hours ago. “I need to tell you something. I didn’t want to wake you, but it’s important. You’ll want to sit up for this.”

Khadgar leaned against the headboard. “I’m awake, I swear.”

Anduin took Khadgar’s hand in his. “The orcs are moving north. They leave destruction wherever they go. Medivh suspects foul magic as a source. Llane has asked that you and Medivh work together to at least weaken the orcs, for there is no way that our troops are prepared to go against an enemy like this.” Lothar felt tears in his eyes, and he stubbornly blinked them away. “I didn’t want to send you. I still don’t. Whatever magic the orcs used was connected to what hurt Medivh. I don’t want them to harm you. I just got you back – I can’t lose you forever.”

Khadgar smiled sweetly. “You won’t. I’m not as delicate as you think I am. I’m one of the most powerful mages in Azeroth. I’ll call the entire Council of Tirisfal to aid me. I thought they would take care of this before I was forced to step in.”

“Don’t put your life in their hands. They don’t care for you.”

Khadgar rolled his eyes. “They serve Azeroth, Anduin. They wouldn’t let me die when I’m their Guardian. It’s their duty to stop the orcs.”

“That hasn’t moved them before,” he muttered, but the look on Khadgar’s face stopped him from complaining more. “I don’t mean to sound as if I don’t believe you’re weak. I know that you can do amazing things.”

“I appreciate that, even if it’s a lie.”

“It’s not a lie,” Anduin insisted. He released Khadgar’s hands and moved closer to him, dangerously close, and pressed his lips to Khadgar’s. The kiss was different than before, insistent. He pulled Khadgar close to him with a grip tight enough to leave bruises and ran a hand though his hair. He needed assurance, but more than anything, he needed to be close to Khadgar. His tongue moved against Khadgar’s as he leaned against him. He was close enough to feel his body heat, close enough to feel Khadgar’s body pressed against his own. He wanted Khadgar badly, so badly.

When they broke apart, Anduin trailed kisses down Khadgar’s neck. “Light, I want you,” he whispered against the fabric of Khadgar’s tunic.

“Then have me. Please, Anduin.”

“Not yet.”

“I can’t fight the orcs with my mind clouded like this,” he whined. “Really, you’d be doing it for all of Azeroth.”

Lothar laughed. “I would love to give my services to Azeroth, but I can’t. I’ll leave you with this. I love you. I’m coming with you to fight. I know that you’ll succeed.” He kissed Khadgar on the forehead. “I should get my armor on. You should speak to Medivh. Go.”

He couldn’t imagine a stranger night.


	32. Recon

“We have much to do, young Trust,” Medivh said to Khadgar as he walked through the door. “I’m sure you know this, but we have little time to waste.”

“I know. I plan to seek out the Tirisfalen-”

“There is no _time_. It has to be now or the orcs will gain more ground we may never use again. This will be you and me.” Medivh tapped his fingers on the table. “Right. We need to find them so that we can tell what we’re dealing with. We should take our leave if we’re to have any hope of surprising them.”

“Why not just use divination from the safety of the castle?”

Medivh rolled his eyes. “The Kirin Tor really didn’t prepare you for this, did they? The more magic we use, the less energy we will have when it is time to do the things that matter. We must look for ways to preserve our energy. We will, however, use teleportation because a gryphon would waste precious time, and time is essential. Are you ready to go, or shall I break it down more for you?”

Khadgar was tired. He wasn’t in the mood to hear Medivh criticize his education. “Say what you want, but I’m still the Guardian. Let’s go.”

Khadgar fought to stay awake even as the chilly night air whipped his travelling cloak and stung his face. The ground felt less than stable beneath him, and he reached out to Medivh to balance him. The Magus looked displeased, but he didn’t attempt to loosen Khadgar’s grip as they moved through the field, covered by the darkness. In the distance, Khadgar could make out a barn and the silhouette of a village. All seemed right, quiet and uninvaded.

“There are no orcs here,” he whispered.

“It wouldn’t do to land us in the middle of an orc war camp, would it? Come. I can sense them from here.”

Medivh led them into a patch of trees thick enough to block out the moonlight. He had never been good at walking in the dark, and he stumbled over roots and fallen branches and anything that was less than even under his feet. Medivh’s strong hands caught him and kept him moving even when he was ready to give up and teleport to the other side. He suspected that the Magus was using magic to feel his way through the underbrush, but Medivh gave no indication of casting a spell. He envied him for that. _How is it that I am the Guardian, but my magic still feels like nothing compared to his?_

“You would be steady on your feet if you made more of an effort to feel what was in front of you and below you before you put your weight on it,” Medivh told him. “An easy trick I learned from your dear Anduin Lothar.”

“Anduin was supposed to come with us,” Khadgar complained. “It’s not fair for us to be here alone when Llane told him he could come.”

“I will return to get him after we’ve scouted if it’s important to you, but I thought to keep him a safe distance from this danger. When we work to weaken the orcs, there will be nothing that Lothar can do to help us. He will have to refrain from being reckless without our eyes on him, and that has never been a strength of his.”

“He’s your friend. He’s the reason that you live. If his loyalty means anything to you, you’ll bring him here!”

“I will bring him as soon as we are ready for him to be here! At the moment, we have more to do than worry about Lothar, and it is _unseemly_ for us to argue when we are so close to the camp of a dangerous enemy!”

Medivh had a point. As much as Khadgar wanted Anduin’s wishes to be honored, part of him wished that Anduin would remain behind in Stormwind where he was safe, where Khadgar knew he could return home to him. _And he wants the same for me… If only everything we wanted was the same._ He frowned. He wanted Anduin, and Anduin finally wanted him for more than sex, but he wanted sex from Anduin too. He didn’t understand why Anduin insisted on waiting.

He would have to talk to Anduin about it when there wasn’t a looming threat of attack.

Medivh tugged Khadgar by the arm until he stood at the treeline with Medivh. What he saw filled him with fear. The camp stretched across the entire valley. Hide tents pressed against hide tents lit only by dull torchlight, and hulking, brutish bodies patrolled the camps, clad in minimal armor but weilding weapons as large as Khadgar’s body. He could see a tent different from the rest at the head of the camp, surrounded by a foul, greenish glow, guarded by two particularly large orcs whose bodies were covered in ugly scars.

“Hundreds, maybe thousands of them could fit in a space that large,” Medivh told him.

“This is hopeless.”

“Not hopeless. Most of them have no magical abilities. All they have is their size. If we can cull the weakest of them, the rest will be nothing. Then only their leader will remain as a real threat.”

“If we take him on last, he’ll know that we’re planning something. Shouldn’t we get to him first?”

“And bring the entire army after us seeking vengeance? No! I say we turn them against him day by day until we have the strength to fight the rest of them without fear.”

“And how do you suppose we can do that, seeing as we don’t speak their language or know their customs or have any contact with them outside of their men killing ours?”

Medivh smiled. “I happen to know more about these orcs than you think. There have already been those who split from the tribe. By now, they will be in hiding, and the fel-user will want their heads. We may be able to work with them.”

“There’s still a language barrier!”

“Easily bypassed, I assure you. Magic can do a great many things.”

“But can you really use these people to divide the orcs before they move toward Stormwind? Surely an approach like that takes time that we don’t have.”

“I considered that, and that is where I believe you will prove to be valuable. The orc who leads them is called Gul’dan. He craves power above all else. While he claims to be loyal to his chieftain, he is truly loyal to only himself, and you will be able to exploit that easily.”

Khadgar understood. “You want me to follow this ridiculous plan by laying a trap to lure him away from the rest of them. You want me to entice him with some promise of power greater than what he has. It wouldn’t be a bad plan, albeit incredibly reckless, if I _had_ something to tempt him with. Even if I’m the Guardian, I’m still a novice and you know it.”

“Ah, but _he_ doesn’t. You can prove to him that you were the one to set me free – I’m sure that his master was very upset about that particular failure of his. If you do it from a distance, he cannot touch you. Lure him somewhere that would give you a great advantage and you can… lure him away from the shores of Azeroth, to the land that was scattered when Azeroth was sundered. He will feel a great pull toward the resting place of Sargeras, but there you may find a greater ally in my mother.” Medivh seemed pleased with himself. “If you cannot do it alone, she will be moved to interfere.”

He frowned. “I don’t want to die, Medivh. I still have so many things to do. Anduin finally loves me, and I’m finally starting to feel like I’m worth something as a mage. My family cares about me even after the years I spent away from them. Please tell me that if I do this, there’s some chance that I can come out of this alive, that I won’t sacrifice my life without stopping Gul’dan because I chose to trust you.”

“I swear to you that if you die, it will be for something. We _will_ stop Gul’dan. I will not let you die for the sake of my arrogance.”

Khadgar didn’t understand why, but he trusted Medivh. Maybe it was the somber tone of his voice, or the way he looked at Khadgar with a solemness that betrayed him. It occurred to Khadgar that Medivh was more than a mage; he was a man with friends and a life at stake, just like Khadgar. Medivh didn’t want to lose grasp of the situation either. “I’ll go along with it if we can keep Anduin informed. I could go to the place you spoke of and use a simple communication spell.”

“No good. If you make it too simple, he’ll know that a trap is waiting. We’ll have you move around Azeroth. Try to disguise your location, but give him time to break through the magical barrier you use. Make your protection stronger as you come closer to your location. If it would help you, bring Lothar with you.”

Khadgar took a deep breath. He was confident that he could lure Gul’dan. He was sure that his spells would be effective, even. “What do I do when he comes for me? He has more mastery over fel energy than I have over the arcane. He travelled to another _world_ to conquer it.”

“You are the Guardian of Azeroth, Khadgar. You wield powers beyond your understanding, but your intuition did not fail you when you had to save my life. The power will guide you once more, and if it doesn’t, Aegwynn will know what to do.”

“Maybe Aegwynn should take her powers back.”

Medivh raised his eyebrows. “Have more faith. I’ve never seen one so talented as you with so many useless worries.”

He pulled Khadgar back into the forest, where they could no longer see the orc camp. He was grateful for Medivh’s reassurance, for his confidence. The Kirin Tor had spent time and resources on Khadgar because they had some sense of his potential, but they had never showed him that they cared for him. Medivh cared.

“I think it’s time to return to Stormwind. Llane needs to know what we’ve seen, and you need to speak to Anduin.” He smiled wryly. “See to it that you do it right.”

In a flash of blue, they were gone.


	33. Conceived to Fail

_Medivh._ The name meant “keeper of secrets”, and his role as the Guardian had destined him for secrecy since his conception; yet, if his allies knew the secrets he was keeping, the things he had hidden, he was sure that they would try to put him to death.

For years, no one had known that the leader of the Burning Legion was living inside of him. He wasn’t sure that he had known himself. He had felt something dark inside of him, pondered the nature of the days and weeks of missing time that happened more and more as he aged. He had struggled against whatever the dark thing was that longed for control; he had felt it burning in him, and he had pressed on without bringing his friends into it because he was the Guardian and it was his duty. Now _everybody_ knew: the Tirisfalen, his mother, Khadgar, even Anduin Lothar.

What they _didn’t_ know was that the absence of Sargeras had left a great emptiness in Medivh that he felt profoundly. His powers remained unaffected, but he still felt the weight of the things he had done and was unable to change. The death of his father, various demon invasions that he’d discovered over the years, the orcish invasion – all were to be laid at his feet. Being Medivh, he was aware of his failures every moment of every day. He had failed in his role as Guardian. It was the role he had been conceived to fill, yet he had failed. Worse still was the realization that the demon had been there since before his birth, and that maybe he had been conceived to fail.

Alone in his room, he was able to ponder these things as he waited for Khadgar to say his goodbyes. Now Khadgar would be trust into the role, but he would serve as Medivh’s pawn for the time being.

Khadgar didn’t know exactly what it would mean to lure a creature like Gul’dan. He had encountered fel magic, perhaps even understood it, but what he didn’t understand was the nature of the people who turned to it. It was the power of fel magic that lured its users. It held no more potential than arcane, but arcane was a school of order. Fel was raw destructive energy, sacrificial in its nature. Its users had a thirst for that power, paired with a disregard for the large-scale harm they would have to do to sustain their magic and the change that would come as they used their power more and more. Gul’dan was a master of fel magic.

Khadgar could handle Gul’dan. The orc would let him live if only to discover where the Tomb of Sargeras might be.

Medivh knew that the Legion played a hand in the orcs’ entry to Azeroth. He had been a part of it as well. He knew what Gul’dan wanted from the moment that his mother had showed her face in his room one dark night, knew that it was the tomb and whatever lied within. He was ready to let Gul’dan get close. He was ready for him to go inside.

What Khadgar didn’t know was what would happen when Gul’dan found the tomb. He expected to kill Gul’dan himself, but that would be unnecessary. The tomb would do the job. The creatures that lurked within would be _thrilled_ to get their hands on such a life, and Sargeras himself would find pride in the deception, the idea that a being so low as Gul’dan thought himself capable of stealing _his_ power…

Medivh shuddered. He didn’t want to think of Sargeras.

He only hoped that when Gul’dan strayed from Khadgar’s trail to go to the tomb, the mage wouldn’t chase him. He had warned Aegwynn, told her to see that the boy didn’t get himself killed, buut he couldn’t be sure that no harm would come to Khadgar. Medivh didn’t want to see another life lost, especially Khadgar’s, but the secrets of that tomb were too much to trust anyone with, even the Guardian. He longed to trust Khadgar, but he couldn’t trust him, couldn’t trust anyone,not even himself, not yet.

Knowing that Sargeras’ tomb was near would have to be enough. Unless…

_There may yet be another way. It would cause him less pain, and Lothar could still have a role to play if he proved willing._

He almost didn’t knock on Lothar’s door, only pausing when he remembered that he shared a bed with Khadgar. That was something he didn’t want to see. Anduin came to the door, clothed simply and looking exhausted. “Khadgar’s in the library,” he said.

“I would speak to you first, old friend. I’m sure that Khadgar told you what I asked him to do.”

“He told me that you planned to use him as a lure for their magic user. Is there really no other way?”

“There is no way for us to safely subdue the orcs while their warlock still lives,” Medivh said, “but there may yet be a way for young Khadgar to play a less dangerous role in this mess. Khadgar will contact those orcs who have gone into hiding, those who opposed the use of fel magic. They will tell you if any of their allies remain among those who would attack us. You will act as diplomats, and we will pacify as many of these orcs as we can.”

“What about their magic user? How will we do this if Khadgar is busy luring him away from the other orcs?”

“He will not be luring Gul’dan away,” Medivh said. “I will.”

Lothar’s eyes widened. “You’re taking his place?”

“I’ve made my decision. What I have in store for Gul’dan is more than what I’m prepared to reveal to Khadgar. His dealings with the Legion, not the magic of the Guardian, will bring his death. Who better to lead him forward than me?”

“Why would you do that? Why tell Khadgar that he’s meant to lure this Gul’dan if you were going to change your mind?”

Medivh sighed. “The Tirisfalen may have stripped me of my powers, but I have been the Guardian since I was born, and I am _still_ the Guardian. There is still some danger in what he will do, but Gul’dan is mine to kill, not Khadgar’s. It was a foolish mistake to ask him to risk his life so early into his time as Guardian.”

“I’m relieved to hear you say that, but if you do this, swear to me that you won’t be reckless because you bear some grudge for that orc.”

“I have never been reckless, Lothar. I will see Khadgar to ensure that he has everything necessary to succeed, and then I will take my leave. Keep him safe.”

Lothar looked at him with newfound appreciation. Medivh suspected that he saw some sliver of the man he’d grown up with beyond all the serious business. He smiled at Lothar and turned to find Khadgar. _At least they weren’t together. These matters are easier when dealt with one man at a time._

Khadgar had his table piled with old tomes as mages often did when they were in the middle of long-term research. He didn’t look up even when Medivh pushed the door shut. _Quite an academic._

“The Karazhan library is available to you after we’ve dealt with the orcs,” he said.

Khadgar nearly fell out of his chair from surprise. “Medivh! How long have you been in here?”

“Not long, and not much longer. I have come to tell you that you will take the duty of conducting diplomacy with the orcs, and the job of luring Gul’dan away will fall to me.”

Khadgar frowned. “Why are you changing the plan? Did Anduin say something to you? It isn’t because I said I’m afraid to die, is it? I _am_ afraid, but I’ll always do my job. I didn’t mean to make you do it-”

“It’s nothing like that,” Medivh said. “One day, you will face every enemy that means you harm without blinking, but it is still early in your term as Guardian. Diplomacy is an essential part of being an effective Guardian, and a role that I consistently failed at. You will show the orcs who pledge to go against Gul’dan that we share a cause, and you will calm Lothar’s temper.”

“But how? I don’t know orcish. I don’t know anything about orcs.”

“It’s very simple. I will give the knowledge to you.” He smiled. It was a great trick, convenient for teaching when time was short. He closed the space between him and the younger mage and took Khadgar’s face in his hands. He willed the knowledge to pass between them, and he could feel it slipping into Khadgar as if he’d learned it naturally. The boy’s balance faltered, but the table supported him until the transfer was done. When it was done, Khadgar stared at Medivh, stunned.

“How did you do that?”

“A lesson for a later time. Your head will spin for a while. Rest. Speak with Anduin, and then look north for the orcs who have defected. Have no fear of contacting them; you will succeed. We each have our role to play, and you will grow into yours.” He smiled a sad smile. “If my plan fails and I do not return, Gul’dan will still meet his end. It was good to know you, Trust.”

Medivh had never favored sentimental farewells, and even the small bit of affection made him uncomfortable. Khadgar pulled him into an embrace, and Medivh stood in Khadgar’s grip, unsure of what to do. “You’ll return,” he told Medivh. “I can’t do this without your guidance.”

At last Khadgar released him, and at last he was able to take his leave. He made his way through the keep without saying a word to anyone. When he reached the courtyard, he tranformed into a raven and flew east until Stormwind was gone. He felt more himself than ever.

_“You may yet lead your people, Gul’dan, but you are weak and unable to find what you seek. How pathetic that you cower before your warchief instead of acting. The Tomb of Sargeras is mine. Make no mistake: if you stand in my way, I will not hesitate to kill you.”_


	34. If We Live Through This

When Medivh walked away, it left Khadgar feeling discouraged. It felt wrong, letting anyone walk into something so dangerous, even someone as powerful and self-assured as Medivh. Khadgar felt, not for the first time, that he was failing as a Guardian. His head ached from the spell Medivh had cast to give him knowledge of the orcs, and he felt as if he was going to vomit. The Kirin Tor had _never_ prepared him for the likes of this.

 _If Medivh has decided that he can beat this orc, then I’m done feeling miserable for myself._ He squared his shoulders and closed the book he had been reading. There was nothing about orcs in this library, and the knowledge he needed felt like it was burned into his brain now, ready to use as soon as he had a few hours of sleep. He didn’t imagine that diplomacy with the orcs could ever be _easy_ , but certainly it would be easier than tricking and fighting a warlock.

When he returned to his room, it was well into morning. Khadgar was surprised to find Anduin sitting in bed waiting for him, studying a map that he’d unfolded on the bed. He didn’t want to interrupt, so he took care to climb over the foot of the bed and crawl into his spot. He glanced at the map. Stormwind was marked clearly, and so was the area where Khadgar and Medivh had scouted.

“They’re smart, setting up somewhere remote like that. We were hoping that they wouldn’t be smart.” Anduin bit his lip. “If we have to fight them, it would be best to come at them from the hilltop, but we couldn’t afford to be pushed too far into the trees – trolls like trees.”

“One step at a time,” Khadgar said. “First we negotiate with those who would do us no harm.”

“They don’t act like they’re willing to negotiate. We’ll be wasting our time.”

Khadgar sighed. “Some of them have already fled. That means that there are moderates. We need to find out how many there are. We also need to find out what to expect from the orcs and what their purpose is on Azeroth, and we won’t be able to do that if we try to kill them all.” He wrapped an arm around Anduin, seeking to draw his attention away from the map. “I’ve never seen you in bed this late.”

“I needed a day to think,” Lothar said. He was still tense, but he relaxed a bit at Khadgar’s touch. He leaned forward and folded the map with care, then set it aside.

Khadgar inched closer to Anduin and ran his fingers along the man’s chest, settling where he could feel Anduin’s heart beating. He wanted to sleep, but he didn’t want to miss his last moments with Lothar before they were surrounded by orcs. “Let’s not think. Let’s just relax a little longer.”

Anduin looked at him as if he’d grown a second head. “You’re not worried that the orcs will kill us the first time they get the chance?”

“Of course I’m worried, but there’s no point in worrying now.” He yawned. “You can go with me now, at least.”

For a long while, Anduin was silent. “There’s something I want to talk to you about while we’re both still alive and orc-free. I wanted to wait, but there’s no knowing how long it would be.” He turned to face Khadgar. Anduin’s blow eyes glowed in the dull light. Khadgar wanted to kiss him more than anything. When Anduin leaned forward and pressed his lips to Khadgar’s, he felt his stress melt away.

“What is it?” he asked.

“I wanted it to be more than this.” He took Khadgar’s hands in his. “Marry me if we live through this. We’ll have a ceremony, a good one, and we can bring your family. I’ll give you a ring, anything you want. I can’t promise you a perfect life, but I’m in love with you, and I’ll do anything to make you happy. Marry me because you love me this time, not because the Kirin Tor made you or because Stormwind made me.” He studied Khadgar, and there was something delicate in his expression that Khadgar had never seen before.

“You’re proposing?”

Khadgar couldn’t believe it. He knew that Lothar loved him, but he had never expected something so romantic to find its way out of the commander’s mouth so easily. He had never felt such overwhelming happiness, and didn’t know whether to cling to Lothar and never let go or to accept the proposal with the same calmness that Lothar was projecting.

“Is it too soon? I thought you would want this.”

“Of _course_ I want this. Anduin, I’ve wanted this since you started acting with some sense – before that, actually, but I would have _accepted_ since then.” He grinned. “I just didn’t know what to say or how to act.”

“That’s a first, you not saying anything.”

Khadgar rolled his eyes. He pulled Anduin close to him and kissed him with all the enthusiasm he could muster. Anduin’s arms wrapped around his waste, and Khadgar leaned into his touch, loving the feel of Anduin’s strong arms. He buried his head in Anduin’s shoulder, content. “Do you mind if I get a little sleep before we start tracking these orcs?”

“Sleep all you want. I wouldn’t mind more rest either.”

Khadgar closed his eyes and willed himself not to think of what was to come.


	35. Oh Mighty Doomhammer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some notes on what's happening in case there are non-game people/in case I'm confusing:
> 
> Taking a lot of what's going on here from "Tides of Darkness". Ogrim gets to be Warchief, but Durotan isn't dead like in the book.
> 
> Stormwind is fine for now.  
> Orcs are already allied with the trolls.  
> Everyone hates Gul'dan but me.

Come dawn, Gul’dan gripped his walking stick and pulled himself out of bed, feeling less like a grand warlock and more like a feeble old man. These days, the cold days, were the worst, when even the skin of his tent flap couldn’t keep out all of the biting night air, when his loincloth and the tattered shaman garb he wore wasn’t anything near enough to keep him warm. He kept a fel fire burning during his waking hours, but even a master of the fel knew better than to leave such destructive energies without a will to control them. Fel was known to consume.

Some of the other orcs were awake, he noticed as he pulled the tent flap back. Some were gone to hunt for food in this strange new world; others lingered behind, awaiting the word of Blackhand. He tried to move silently through them so that he might have meditative time without that idiot getting in his way. Blackhand, he knew, thought that he was the warchief, and Gul’dan the servant. He didn’t know Gul’dan.

At last he was alone, but something was amiss. He could feel the familiar sensation of Medivh’s magic creeping into him, prodding him with precision that any lesser mage would have envied. As it seeped into his mind, it was like pins and needles poking at him, testing his resolve, searching him for weakness. It grew gentler as time passed, more diluted. _Such arrogance, to think that I would fail to notice him._

“Do not be so silent, Medivh. Hours ago you were bold enough to declare war against me, and now you hide and try to track me with your weakened magic. It is sensible to be afraid, but I expected more of you-”

“Do not mistake me because you still live. If you interfere, I _will_ kill you. You think you are strong, but I see you bowing to your warchief like a servant, crawling before your Legion masters to take whatever scraps they give their pawn. You are pathetic.”

“Let us not speak of pawns, mage! You served to fuel our entry into this world. Never forget that.”

“I remember well. The likes of you will never have something so grand as the power of Sargeras. _I_ was his host. I, before anyone, have this right. You may be their favorite plaything, but you will be _mine_ if you dare to come near one so dangerous as me!”

Gul’dan’s knees buckled with white-hot stabbing pain greater than anything he’d known. It rippled through his body, started at his core and flowed out as if it were running through his veins. He did not scream. He would keep his dignity, and Medivh would know that he was dealing with a _master_ , not a servant…

“Give in, you fool, before it is too late for you.”

Gul’dan reacted. He drew the life from the land itself. It was much the same as when he had been a shaman, only now he wasn’t listening to the spirits. He was destroying anything that would bring him the will to find the end to his pain. He lashed out at the presence of Medivh until he could feel it relenting. His breathing was labored and his body trembled, but he was alive with the power of fel. His back no longer hurt and his fingers were no longer cold. He grinned. “You will not have the last word. I am darkness incarnate!”

“You are nothing! I am the last _true_ Guardian, and you will know what it means to be defeated by one who is greater than you.”

A terrible gust of wind threatened to knock Gul’dan off his feet. It howled around him, made the trees moan all around him. He braced himself against his walking stick and put all his weight onto it. He would remain unmoved…

Overhead, a raven soared across the sky.

 

Upon his return, a pair of strong, orcish arms caught and restrained him before he had the opportunity to curse them. He struggled, but his malformed body was weak against their warrior’s hands, and to fight savagely would be a waste of his energy. He was dragged away to the front of the camp, where a large orc in unmistakable black armor waited for him, hammer slung over his shoulder. The other orcs released him at Ogrim’s feet.

“What is the meaning of this? I demand to speak to Blackhand!”

Ogrim slapped him hard enough to make him flop to the floor like a rag doll. “I did not say you could speak! Blackhand is dead. I know that he was your puppet, and I know how you manipulated the Shadow Council behind him to do your bidding. Your era of control has come to an end. I am Warchief now.”

Gul’dan marvelled at the display of strength. How had Doomhammer been able to track his Shadow Council? He was more dangerous than Gul’dan had expected, much more dangerous. Ogrim lifted his hammer over his head, ready to eliminate Gul’dan, who he knew to be the last link.

“Wait! I beg you to reconsider this!”

Doomhammer narrowed his eyes. “Is the mighty Gul’dan begging me to spare him? Very well. Beg for your life like the dog you are. Let’s see it.” Doomhammer did not lower his hammer, but his eyes watched Gul’dan with careful suspicion.

“I… I realize now the error of my ways.” He worked fast, weaving the words in his head that he hoped would quell Ogrim’s anger but buy Gul’dan his life. “I bow to your might. You are the true Warchief of the Horde, and I submit to you. I pledge my loyalty to you from this day forward.”

Ogrim snorted. “You are not a creature who knows the meaning of obedience. How should I trust you now?”

“You need my warlocks! I could make new warlocks. There could be others too, the likes of which we have never seen, all obedient to you, great Doomhammer. You are strong enough to rule, but my life is too powerful to waste. Let me help you combat the magic that the humans have in store for you.”

The warchief snarled. “I expect it done.”

Gul’dan hated Doomhammer with a passion that was unfamiliar to him. He would find a way to the Tomb of Sargeras, even if he had to bring down the entire Horde to do it. When he did, Doomhammer could watch as the rest of the world burned under his rule. “I need the Twilight’s Hammer clan and my own Shadowmoon brothers.”

“You expect me to give you control of two clans?”

“Not yet,” Gul’dan said. _It’s like speaking to a child._ “We should go north. Stormwind is ready for us, but there will be other kingdoms ripe for the taking. You will know then that you can trust me, and you will then see what an asset I am to your cause. You will give me the men I need when you know all I hope to achieve.”

“Get out of my sight,” Doomhammer said.

It was better than dying, Gul’dan thought bitterly. He could feign loyalty to Doomhammer a little longer, just long enough to take enough men to defend him if the path to the Tomb proved tougher than he had anticipated. The moment would come. He hoped that Medivh was ready.


End file.
